Louisiana Voice

Donald (“Nobody briefed or told me”) Trump, aka Sgt. Schultz

“Officials told the AP the assessment was included in at least one of Trump’s written daily intelligence briefings as early as spring 2019.”

—The Hill, June 29, 2020. [Written briefing? Oh well, if it was written, that explains it…]

“If intelligence reports are verified that Russia or any other country is placing bounties on American troops, then they need to be treated as a state sponsor of terrorism.” 

—Sen. Thom Tillis (R-N.C.). [and if it is ultimately determined that Trump was briefed on this in March or earlier, how should he be treated?]

“If this was kind of swept under the carpet as to not make it a bigger issue with Russia, and one ounce of blood was spilled when they knew this, I lost all respect for this administration and everything.”

—Erik Hendriks, father of Cpl. Robert Hendriks, 25, one of three Marines killed in April 2019, possibly as a  result of the Russian bounties.

“Thank you to the great people of the Villages. The Radical Left Do Nothing Democrats will fall in the Fall. Corrupt Joe is shot. See you soon!!!

—Trump meanwhile continues to tweet racist videos and to play golf.

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“Nobody briefed or told me, @VP Pence, or Chief of Staff @MarkMeadows about the so-called attacks on our troops in Afghanistan by Russians, as reported through an ‘anonymous source’ by the Fake News @nytimes.

“Everybody is denying it & there have not been many attacks on us. Nobody’s been tougher on Russia than the Trump Administration. With Corrupt Joe Biden & Obama, Russia had a field day, taking over important parts of Ukraine – Where’s Hunter? Probably just another phony Times hit job, just like their failed Russia Hoax. Who is their ‘source’?”

–Donald Trump, doing his “I’m not Truman” impersonation in passing the buck on the Russian bounty story by blaming Joe Biden, Obama, Hunter Biden, and The New York Times. [But the hard, cold reality is, someone in the administration of one Donald J. Trump dropped the ball and he ultimately must bear the responsibility. He is, after all, the one in charge and this happened on his watch. Period.]

“This is as bad as it gets, and yet the president will not confront the Russians on this score, denies being briefed.”

—Nancy Pelosi, in an understatement on ABC News’s This Week, in reaction to Trump’s denial of being briefed on the Russian bounty report.

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“Quite frankly, it’s gone on long enough. This may not be a perfect solution, but it is the only one on the table. Doing nothing is not an option!”

—State Rep. Alan Seabaugh, who has a history of interjecting himself into non-legislative matters (see “Seabaugh Solution,” Louisiana Dept. of Education, May 2013), in opposing Gov. John Bel Edwards’ extension of coronavirus restrictions for another four weeks.

“Actually, doing nothing to undermine the governor’s fact-based, measured response to the pandemic is not only an option, it’s the best option. The only thing “not an option” is doing something dumb — particularly something that jeopardizes millions in federal assistance in the midst of an economic and public health crisis.”

Gambit Magazine.

“I like it when pieces of s**t like you talk about me. That is how I know that I get under your skin. Helps me sleep at night.”

—Seabaugh, in response to LouisianaVoice’s less-than-complimentary assessment of him in a recent email.

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[Nelson Rockefeller’s] “divorce and remarriage ‘struck a serious blow’ against the Christian idea of matrimony.”

—Sixteen Protestant California ministers, in their criticism of Republican Nelson Rockefeller’s lifestyle, 1964, as told in Robert Mann’s book Becoming Ronald Reagan. [Isn’t it interesting how evangelicals’ values can change to suit a political agenda?]

“They also told us that they didn’t want any signs posted saying we should social distance in the venue. The campaign went through and removed the stickers.”

—Doug Thornton, executive vice president of ASM Global, on Donald Trump campaign workers’ removal of “Do Not Sit Here, Please!” stickers from seats in the Bok Center prior to last week’s Trump rally in Tulsa.

“We have made a truly remarkable progress in moving our nation forward. We’ve all seen the encouraging news as we open up. The reality is we’re in a much better place.”

—Phlegmatic, placid Veep Pence, imitating a statue as he touts progress the administration claims to have made against the COVID-19 pandemic even as Texas and Florida backtrack on reopening.

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A satisfied reader of LouisianaVoice models his chic NOPE tee-shirt while flashing the ever-popular thumbs-down to Donald Trump’s reelection this November. (Notice how the shirt follows the svelte contours or our model’s outdoorsman’s physique.)

You, too, can share this subtle message by purchasing your very own shirt emblazoned with the familiar orange toupee and flowing red tie signifying your sentiments about allowing this tyrant to prowl unchecked about the historic Oval Office for another four years.

Shirts are $18.99 for sizes Small, Medium, Large and XL; $21.99 for 2XL and $23.99 for 3XL.

To accessorize, you can add a smart mask that completes this fashionable ensemble for only $9. Should you desire more masks to share with your friends, you can get three for $24, five for $36 or as many as 10 for a mere $66.

Be the envy of everyone on your street. Get hosed down by irate neighbors as you walk your dog while proudly decked out in your NOPE Trump best finery!

Order now by clicking on the orange (to match Trump’s hair and tan) DONATE button in the column to the upper right of this post (it looks like this: ) to pay by credit card. Or, if that doesn’t work (and it sometimes doesn’t), you can order by mail by sending your check to:

LouisianaVoice, P.O. Box 922, Denham Springs, LA 70727.

Hurry and order now because supplies are limited (my distributor told me to say that because he says it’s a marketing ploy that always prompts potential buyers to act). Don’t be left out!

Operators are standing by! (another sure-fire incentive to buyers, I’m told).

You can wear the shirt and mask at Dump Trump parties across the U.S. (similar to the M*A*S*H Bash parties for that popular show’s final episode back in 1983). And the day following the election when Trump will be shown the exit to the White House, you can hang your shirts on your front door in victorious celebration (but only after putting on another shirt).

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