Louisiana Voice

A friend sent me a blogpost by Alabama writer Kyle Whitmire with a note saying, “I wish I’d written it.”

My friend was correct. It was the type of post most writers wished they’d written.

What Whitmire had done was take four Alabama elected officials and compare each one to one of the four characters who comprised THE THREE STOOGES (Larry, Moe and Curly – plus, as Whitmire added, “or on a bad day, Shemp”).

For Moe, the obvious choice was Rep. Mo Brooks who tweeted last February, “American healthcare: ZERO dead” as if, Whitmire pointed out, the pandemic was already over. “Brooks thinks he’s the brains of the bunch, but he really just gets the others into trouble,” he wrote.

And like Larry Howard, he wrote, “Rep. Barry Moore is just as dumb as Mo but doesn’t have the ambition yet to call himself a leader.” But he did say there was no point in taking protective measures against coronavirus because if Donald Trump could get it, everybody could.

Sen. Tommy Tuberville, the erstwhile football coach of Auburn, Texas Tech and the University of Cincinnati, earned the Curly moniker “for being too dangerous to trust around kitchen appliances.” Tuberville is the guy who identified the three branches of the federal government as “the House, the Senate and the Executive.”

“Shemp never really fit in the Three Stooges, much like Alabama Attorney Gen. Steve Marshall doesn’t belong in D.C., though he did go there and did back one of the five dozen or so frivolous lawsuits seeking to overturn the Biden election. Marshall, who leads the U.S. Attorneys General Association’s Rule of Law Defense Fund, helped organize that Jan. 6 assault on the U.S. Capitol – with a little help from a certain Louisiana official.

Whitmire’s creativity inspired me to come up with a similar list but with a different cast of players for Louisiana officials (and a couple other notables thrown in for lagniappe).

For my celebrity cast, I chose the characters from Looney Tunes Cartoons. Without further ado, here goes:

Yosemite Sam: The obvious choice for this role is Rep. Clay Higgins who is every bit as blustery and boisterous – but without the charm.

Foghorn Leghorn: Could there be anyone other than self-parody Sen. John Neely (“Ah been, ah say, ah been horn-swoggled”) Kennedy? I sincerely and seriously think not.

Tweety: Again, the choice of Donald Trump is more than a little obvious, though he was also considered for the Tasmanian Devil.

Granny: Who has been more like a doting grandma to Trump than Mike Pence?

Marvin the Martian: For his space cadet-like efforts to challenge the election and for his pursuit of an overall wacko agenda, that role goes to Rep. Mike Johnson.

Wile E. Coyote: Gotta go with Attorney General Jeff Landry on this one because of his repeated legal setbacks and for announcing on Nov. 10 that the Rule of Law Defense Fund was filing an AMICUS BRIEF endorsing the Pennsylvania Republican Party’s challenge of a state supreme court ruling that allowed the counting of absentee ballots up to three days after election day (yet another court loss for Landry – kind of like an anvil falling on his head). And let’s not forget that he was listed as a CO-DIRECTOR of RLDF on 2018 tax documents filed by the organization, which spearheaded a ROBOCALL campaign calling on volunteers to march in that Jan. 6 insurrection at the U.S. Capitol.

Elmer Fudd: For that role, I chose Sen. Bill Cassidy for his misplaced optimism.

Daffy Duck: Rep. Steve Scalise for his consistent display of benign cluelessness.

Pepe Le Pew: I chose Rep. Garret Graves because…well, just because of his ability as a smooth talker.

Roadrunner: That goes to Rep. Cedric Richmond who seems to always be a few steps ahead of the rest of the Louisiana delegation.

Finally, Bugs Bunny: That goes to Gov. John Bel Edwards for his ability to remain above the fray and for being the voice of calm in a never-ending succession of crises.

There are several other Looney Tunes characters, namely Sylvester and Barnyard Dawg, and you may have your own favorite politician to assign to those roles:

By Jerel Giarrusso (aka Earthmother), Guest Columnist

The enemy within:

Four years ago, at the close of the Obama administration, and after the shocking election of Donald Trump as president of the United States, a significant number of people, women in particular, were angry and rattled at the results of a free and fair election. The idea took hold of showing the world our disgust at the election of such an unfit and unqualified individual by gathering in Washington, DC the day after inauguration for a peaceful demonstration – the Women’s March on Washington. The moment we heard about the planned march on the news, I knew I had to go.  

Three of us decided to go together. One woman’s daughter, an attorney living in Washington, invited us to stay with her for the march. So, we three, ages 55, 65 and 75, flew to DC, and we joined with over a half million women, men and children, of all demographics, filling the streets with a sea of humanity that flowed down Independence Avenue and filled the National Mall.  Thousands wore pink “pussy hats” that were individually knitted, crocheted or sewn by hand, traditional womanly arts. The hats, designed to keep heads warm in the cold, have little kitty cat ears on the top corners, to defuse the nasty term trump had used in his infamous “grab them by the pussy” tape. We were right in the middle of it all, witness to the signs held aloft, the chants and songs, women pushing baby strollers, everyone looking out for one another in solidarity and peaceful protest.   

There were no arrests related to the march in Washington that day. Metro police were out in force, with police units parked along the route, and mounted police were present as well.  The cops engaged marchers in good natured conversation, and allowed people to pet their horses.  It was a beautiful example of women and men engaging in their First Amendment right to peaceably assemble, not to be forgotten.

Some observations:

#1. Midmorning on Inauguration Day, we went to visit Mount Vernon, home of George and Martha Washington.  The route, a raised highway, overlooked the site of the inauguration, which we could see clearly, and which, interestingly, was practically bare of people. Certainly not the horde that trump later insisted had witnessed his big day, one of the first of his big lies. We were there.  A big crowd for him was not.

#2.  Despite the claims by lots of trump-loving conservatives that George Soros, a wealthy donor to many liberal causes, paid for the Women’s March, I can state for the record that the three of us who attended paid our own way.  We’re all still waiting for that $2000 check from Soros.

Fast forward to January 2021, at the close of the disastrous trump administration, and after Joe Biden’s win in another free and fair election.  The young Washington lawyer who hosted us for the march four years ago is now an overworked, seasoned election law attorney who has helped to protect people’s right to vote by successfully arguing voter suppression cases all over the nation, and helped to win case after case brought by trump and his minions in efforts to overturn the presidential election. (See Louisiana Voice, December 6, 2020)  The Big Lie, that somehow a coalition of Democrats, Republican election officials and secretaries of state, THE MEDIA, and other unidentified villains, had colluded to “steal” the election from trump, was invented by trump and bought into by millions of deluded trump cultists and a significant number of Republicans in Congress.  The Big Lie has been debunked about 60 times in state and federal courts and the Supreme Court declined to give it oxygen. 

Despite a lack of any credible evidence, a significant number of Americans continue to believe the Big Lie.  At the invitation of the failed president, the idea for a protest in Washington, DC took hold, where another attempt to overturn the election would take place.  In contrast to the peaceful Women’s March, this time an apparently long-planned violent attempted coup d’etat took place, when a horde of men and women besieged the US Capitol where the joint houses of Congress were meeting for a formal count of electoral votes and declaration of Joe Biden as the next president.  The domestic terrorists attacked law enforcement officers, severely injuring many, and literally beat one officer to death. The lives of the sitting vice president and members of Congress were endangered by a howling mob, many wearing red caps mass produced in China, that signified allegiance to a lawless president.  The nation and the world were transfixed, watching the insurgents defile the halls of Congress on live TV.  It was a destructive and deadly attempt to impose the will of the minority on the country, so poorly thought out by trump and the leaders of the coup attempt, that they never considered the end game. They could have murdered the vice president and members of Congress and forced any survivors to declare trump president for another term, or for life, an unlawful declaration that would never stand.  The mob finally moseyed out of the Capitol, unhindered and un-arrested by law enforcement. 

And yet a significant number of Congress members are still supporting trump and the Big Lie, and have voted to overturn the election in a blatant act of sedition.

Reports are trickling out about fundraising efforts that some insurgents used to finance their travel.  https://www.nytimes.com/2021/01/16/us/capitol-riot-funding.html?referringSource=articleShare   AmazonSmile and PayPal were used. Some use a Christian fundraising site called GiveSendGo. (Check it out online, GiveSendGo – : The #1 Free Christian Fundraising Site.  the site has raised $585,000 for the legal defense of Kyle Rittenhouse, charged with killing two protesters in Kenosha, Wisconsin. Read the comments praising him for killing people.)  Federal authorities are investigating a $522,000 bitcoin transfer originating in France that was funneled to several American alt-right groups and individuals. https://ca.news.yahoo.com/500k-bitcoin-sent-france-us-162934545.html#  In contrast to women paying our way, many of the insurgents had to beg for travel money.

US intelligence services and law enforcement are on high alert for a repeat performance by an armed mob on inauguration day. So instead of going to Washington to watch the legally elected president swear an oath to protect and defend the Constitution and our country, we will watch the event on tv. 

But the most shocking fact is that the nation’s capital is a city under siege. Washington, DC is practically on lockdown, with thousands of National Guard troops in the Capitol and on the streets. Barricades and tall fences and walls have been erected all over the capitol complex to prevent a mob from storming the seat of government once again.  Our beautiful capital city looks like a Third World city under siege by enemies.

But here’s the thing: the enemy threatening our democracy and the safety of our elected officials is not a malign foreign power.  The National Guard has been called in and defenses have been erected to defend against a cohort of our own people – American citizens who believe trump’s big lie, and who love violence, who have stockpiled weapons, and who think their wishes take precedence over the will of the majority.  People who think they can invalidate the votes and the wishes of other American citizens and impose their will by force. People who say they are angry (at what?) and want to be heard.  

The USA has always settled political differences at the ballot box, not at the point of a gun.  Until now.  We don’t lock up political dissidents in this country. At least, we never have in the past.  But what do we do with people who refuse to accept a legally elected president and promise sustained violence and unrest in order to have their way?  Some will be arrested, tried, convicted and jailed.  The US will have its first political prisoners, thanks to a malignant narcissist and his deluded, brainwashed followers, who have together laid waste to our government, destroyed confidence in our traditions and institutions and refuse to accept that trump is not a god-emperor. 

A lot of the trumpians are hoping for a second civil war.  Whether or not we end up with a sustained armed insurrection, the uncivil war has already begun.  People are lining up politically, drawing lines at who they will and will not tolerate and speak to, depending on who they support politically.  Though trump will leave the White House for good on January 20, his malignant stench will poison our land for some time to come.

To all those skeptics who claim the mainstream media fails to report the good news, that it only gives us gloom and doom, I say balderdash.

There is a story circulating among the major outlets, The Washington Post included, that should warm the cockles of the hearts of the most distrustful of the media:

Donald Trump is REFUSING to PAY the LEGAL FEES of one RUDY GIULIANI.

I hope you’ll pardon me (oops, no pun intended) for attaching so many links to the story. It’s just that it’s such a pleasure to share such good news that I couldn’t resist (though it is difficult to type this while laughing hysterically).

But just for good measure, HERE are TWO MORE. (I would attach a link to The Washington Post but because it has a pay wall, only subscribers would be able to open it.)

Poor old Rudy apparently didn’t know that he was working on contingency – where he only gets paid if he wins (should’ve read the fine print in that contract).

But isn’t it the ultimate irony that the tangerine toddler would stiff the very person who has shown the most fealty to him, more so than even Mike Pence or Lindsey Graham (but maybe not sycophants like Jim Jordan, Ted Cruz or Devin Nunes.)?

And you can add to that list of shameless ass-kissers the names John Neely Kennedy, Clay Higgins, Mike Johnson, Steve Scalise and Garret Graves. Those five swore an oath to defend the Constitution against “all enemies, foreign and domestic,” yet they gave the ultimate domestic enemy not one, but two passes when they voted first to challenge the election results in Arizona and then against impeachment of a man who first tweeted and then stood at a podium and encouraged his followers to “fight, show strength” by invading the U.S. Capitol and literally attempting a violent overthrow of the government of the United States.

They voted against removing the criminal who is directly responsible for the deaths of five people (not counting the two suicides that followed the shameful events of Jan. 6).

Even the most loyal t-Rump supporter will have to admit this latest tantrum is perfectly consistent with his well-established pattern of refusing to pay contractors and vendors, defrauding students of his so-called t-Rump University, defaulting on bank loans and his multiple (what is it, five?) bankruptcies.

Not to be overlooked, there are the myriad pardons t-Rump has granted to criminals and traitors cast very much in the same mold as their benefactor. It’s true: birds (read: human garbage) of a feather do indeed flock together. For proof, take a long, hard look at the motley horde that descended on the Capitol last week. Not the type of people you’d want testifying as character witnesses on your behalf should you ever find yourself in need of such.

And it’s also in keeping with his tendency to dump loyalists when they are of no more service to him. Loyalty is most definitely a narrow, shadowy, one-way street for this snake oil salesman.

And finally, to Rudy Giuliani, I would say you got no less than you deserve. As the old adage goes, sleep with dogs and you get up with fleas. Your cast your lot with a con artist and you got conned.

It’s the ultimate irony and it reeks of poetic justice. Karma truly is a bitch.

Despite an FBI report that WARNED of “war” at the US Capitol, security personnel were caught with their pants down last Wednesday as thousands of pro-Trump thugs attempted what the India Times called a “Coup Klux Klan”-type takeover of the federal government.

Now comes another alert from the FBI that there are plans for armed protests at all 50 state capitals and Washington, D.C. in the days leading up to and including the Jan. 20 inauguration day.

Louisiana State Police say they are prepared. More on that later.

We watched in a mixture of horror and disbelief as a Confederate flag, a symbol of treason and hatred was paraded through the National Hall of Statues, as Capitol police were beaten by fellow Americans (not to be confused with real patriots), as an Arkansas hillbilly plopped down at Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s desk, as property was destroyed and as six people ultimately died.

We found ourselves wanting to hurl a brick through the television when Trump only reluctantly sent out a pre-recorded, half-hearted, but certainly self-serving appeal for calm to “special people.”

How a country called the “shining beacon on the hill” could go from the symbol of freedom and world leadership to third-world status in a short four years is beyond me but make no mistake: the rhetoric of the mentally-deranged man at the helm had a helluva lot to do with it, well, actually, all of it.

Those mouth-breathing trolls who were hanging off the Capitol building like so many spider monkeys in the San Diego Zoo were nothing less than subversive insurgents. The fact that some of them carried American flags doesn’t change the fact that they were anarchists. And if you use the flag pole to beat a police officer senseless, you’re a common criminal due no more respect than some back-alley mugger.

Make no mistake: Trump brought this on with his lies, lies, lies and more lies about the Nov. 3 election having been “rigged.”

And before any of you try to repeat that lie, first explain how it is that no fewer than 50 court cases – attempts to overturn the election results – have been thrown out by judges, many of whom are Trump appointees. Even his three U.S. Supreme Court justices opted not to hear arguments on the Tweeter-in-Chief’s behalf.

Even Republic statewide elected officials in Georgia and Arizona refused to crater to his absurd claims and now some of them have been threatened by Trump’s demented loyalists who, like Trump himself, have not a shred of evidence of election fraud but are not short on hair-brained conspiracy theories that include lizard people and botched press briefings at the Four Seasons Lawn Service.

Before you try to advance that election fraud argument, please give us some evidence. Saying there was fraud doesn’t make it so any more than saying Bigfoot exists is going to coax the mythical man-beast out of the woods near you. But I will grant you this: claiming his existence makes about as much sense as any assertion of election fraud without accompanying documentation.

But one thing, unfortunately, is pretty much a good bet: there is likely to be more violence between now and Jan. 20. And that’s not a good thing. Trump has already turned this country into a Central American revolution-type laughingstock. More violence will only make a bad situation worse.

Sadly, not a word of this missive is going to change the minds of these fanatics.

But, as I said earlier, State Police say they are ready.

“Louisiana State Police is aware of the planned protests at the State Capitol and is working closely with our federal, state, and local law enforcement partners to coordinate security protocols,” says a statement from Lt. Nick Manale of the LSP Public Affairs Section.

The statement said that LSP “will not be able to provide specific information regarding protest security measures and cannot comment on the security protocols concerning the Governor’s Mansion and Louisiana State Capitol.”

That’s understandable. It would foolish to show their hand to a band of outlaws like the Three Percenters or the Proud Boys.

“As with previous protest events across the state, the Louisiana State Analytical & Fusion Exchange continually monitors potential security concerns and will be providing pertinent information to our public safety personnel to ensure safety for protesters, Capitol grounds and staff, and the surrounding community,” Manale said.

“In coordination with Capitol staff and the Department of Public Safety Police, LSP will have personnel in place to ensure a safe environment and to protect the rights of our citizens to hold a peaceful gathering.”

Let’s hope he’s right.

This was bound to happen – a foregone conclusion that anyone could have seen coming with the imbecile now in his last days as POTUS.

With the deaths of six people and the attempted overthrow of the American government still fresh in everyone’s mind who hasn’t been living under a rock, comes the likelihood of a new spate of pardons from President Tweet Thang.

Seriously, who didn’t see this coming?