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Archive for May, 2020

The Next Top Ten Things Which Demonstrate that Donald Trump is a Stable Genius

10.) Only he is smart enough to change the path of a hurricane with a Sharpie.

9.) Only he knows that DOJ actually stands for “Donnie’s Own Judicial” system
and Bill Barr is his personal lawyer.

8.) His genius has determined that Senate acquittal means he was never really
impeached.

7.) Only he is smart enough to know that the Corona virus is just a fad and will be
gone when the weather warms up.

6.) Trump is smart enough to know that everyone else is just plain stupid,
especially the ones he hires and eventually fires for all his cabinet posts and
staff.

5.) Foregoing his $400,000 Presidential salary while he bills the government for
$140 million in golf expenses at his resorts is pure genius.

4.) It was a genius move to give The Presidential Medal of Freedom to Rush
Limbaugh at the State of the Union address. Nobody could possibly disagree
with that, right?

3.) Firing Gordon Sondland as EU Ambassador and keeping his $1 Million campaign
donation was brilliant.

2.) Using the National Prayer Breakfast to swear revenge on his impeachment
enemies was something only “The Chosen One” would be smart enough to do.

1.) He is brilliant enough to divert $3.8 Billion from Congressionally allocated
military spending to fund his wall, which Mexico was supposed to pay for.

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If you should peek into the fiscal cortex of a Republican legislator’s brain, you’d see a mish-mash of conflicting ideas that’re reflective of the disastrous Jindal years, more than four years after he left office.

Apparently, the disciples of Grover Norquist learned little of the economic misrule that was emblematic of the Jindal years of consecutive budgetary shortfalls brought about by the eight-year orgy of tax cuts and tax exemptions granted for Walmarts and Family Dollar stores across the length and breadth of Louisiana.

Jindal repeatedly used one-time money to fund recurring expenses—until, that is, he was halfway out the door when it suddenly occurred to the so-called legislative “fiscal hawks” to do what they should’ve done years before—impose limits on how governors could use that one-time money to plug gaping holes in the state budget.

I suggest that they’ve learned little because, believe it or not, they’re at it again.

Exhibit A: Those fiscal hawks, taking full advantage of the drop in state revenue caused by the coronavirus shutdown, are attempting to cut spending for such luxuries as teacher pay, police protection, health care for the poor and housing state inmates. Read Tyler Bridges’s story about that HERE.

Exhibit B: Reps. Rick Edmonds (R-Baton Rouge) and Stuart Bishop (R-Lafayette) have submitted a couple of house concurrent resolutions that would grant an additional $1.1 billion in tax breaks to the oil and gas industry and corporate franchisees.

Edmonds’s HCR 43 would suspend the corporate franchise tax until 2021 at a cost of $413.6 million to the state.  To see the legislative fiscal notes to HCR 43, go HERE.

Exhibit C: Sen. Mark Abraham has introduced SB 272 which calls for a constitutional amendment to allow industrial corporations to establish the amount they pay in local property taxes through private negotiations.

Bishop’s HCR 65 would suspend severance taxes levied on oil, natural gas, distillate and condensate “from the date of adoption of the resolution through the 60th day following final adjournment of the 2021 legislative session” and would cost the state $693.8 million, according to the FISCAL NOTES.

How’s that for fiscal responsibility? In the face of shrinking revenues, we’re going to give huge breaks to the corporations—just like always—while popping it to the middle class.

And we wonder why we continue to wallow in the mud at the bottom of all the good economic indicators while other states stroll past on the nice, dry sidewalk. We in Louisiana are the ragged street urchins of a Dickens novel and the legislature is our Uriah Heep.

Ask yourself, local butcher shop proprietor, do you get the opportunity to “negotiate” your tax rate? Ms. dress shop owner, have you been granted any tax breaks lately?

Ms. dress shop owner, have your taxes been suspended?

Mr. and Mrs. Bakery owners, have you been exempted from paying your annual business license fee?

I’m going out on a limb and venturing the answers to those three questions are no, no and no.

But then, unlike the oil and gas companies, you probably didn’t pour thousands of dollars into legislative political campaigns or hire a team of lobbyists to protect your interests at the State Capitol. And the Louisiana Association of Business and Industry (LABI) doesn’t speak for you because it’s too busy taking care of the big boys.

Jan Moller, director of the Louisiana Budget Project, pretty well summed it up when he said, “Louisiana is facing an unprecedented economic crisis, and we all need to do our part. But instead of looking out for front-line workers and their families, the Legislature is proposing more than $1 billion in new tax breaks for corporations. These tax breaks would come at the expense of students, families and workers who need Louisiana’s help now more than ever.

“The Legislature’s first priority should be to help those who’ve been hurt most by this pandemic – not the state’s largest corporations. Please join us in calling on the House Ways and Means Committee to reject these ill-considered giveaways,” he added.

To which we can only add, “Amen.”

 

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“I have tried and I have failed to find anything about Donald Trump that is admirable, respectable, decent, genuine, kind, altruistic, intelligent, capable, competent or sane. And I’ve tried. I want more than anything to find something truly good about this man that I can hold onto because I don’t like feeling this way towards another human being. I don’t like this unfamiliar feeling of insecurity, worry, fear that I’ll wake up one day soon to find my country and my children’s country just flat out destroyed. I don’t like not being able to find anything good about a person. But the way I feel about him right now is basically the way I felt about him 20-some years ago when I stopped watching his TV show because he was just too stupid, disrespectful, racist, sexist and mean for me to stomach.”

–Lynna Pinse Legal researcher, Make it Legal, on Donald Trump.

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He didn’t invent rock and roll, but he sure as hell defined it. Those who came behind him—Elvis, The Beatles (who, while still an unknown band, opened for him while on tour), The Rolling Stones, Otis Redding, James Brown, Baton Rouge’s Joe Tex, Robert Plant, Creedence Clearwater Revival, and Jimi Hendrix—were all unquestionably influenced by his frenetic, hard-driving, screaming style.

LITTLE RICHARD, who recorded his first hit record, TUTTI FRUTTI, at Cosimo Matassa’s tiny J&M Studio on Sept. 14-16, 1955, died today. He was 87.

When I was a kid back in Ruston, I would sneak up two flights of stairs to the KRUS studios after school to watch a local black disc jockey named Poppa Looboppa preside over the station’s short-lived R&B show that ran from 3:30 p.m. to 4 p.m. That’s when I first heard Frankie Lyman and the Teenagers sing Why Do Teenagers Fall in Love and a screaming, piano-pounding singer named Little Richard, whose real name was Richard Wayne Penniman.

I became a fixture (a pest, really) in the station to watch through a large studio window as the DJ performed what I believed was the coolest job on the planet. Little did I know that I would one day be sitting in his chair trying emulate national DJs like CC Courtney (a native of Ruston) and Bluebeard of WNOE in New Orleans, Dan Diamond of the legendary New Orleans station WTIX, George Carlin (really) of Shreveport’s KJOE, and Dick Biondi of WLS in Chicago. Boy, did I try to be all of them but alas, I was but a poor imitation.

But the music was real and Little Richard kept turning them out. GOOD GOLLY MISS MOLLY, RIP IT UP, LUCILLE, KEEP A KNOCKIN’, JENNY JENNY, LONG TALL SALLY, and SLIPPIN’ AND SLIDIN’.

Because studio executives in those pioneer days of rock ‘n’ roll believed white kids wouldn’t buy black music, any time a black artist had a hit, they’d rush a white singer into the studio to do a cover version for the white kids. Thus did Pat Boone, of all people, provide us with his sanitized version of TUTTI FRUTTI.

I devoted nearly five full pages to Little Richard in my first book, Louisiana Rocks: The True Genesis of Rock & Roll. That chapter is reprinted here:

     There are, quite simply, not enough superlatives to describe the impact Richard Wayne Penniman, aka. Little Richard had – and still has – on rock & roll music and on so many of its practitioners, from Elvis Presley to the Beatles, from David Bowie to Keith Richards, from Jimi Hendrix to Billy Preston, from Gene Vincent to the Rolling Stones, from Pat Boone to….  Well, Pat Boone might be a bit of a stretch, though Boone did cover two of Little Richard’s early hits: Long Tall Sally and Tutti Frutti, the latter inexplicably a bigger hit for Boone than for Little Richard.

     Elvis is credited with introducing the black sound to white audiences but Little Richard, born December 5, 1932, in Macon, Georgia, did more than anyone else to break down those barriers.  He brought white kids over to black radio stations to hear – and feel – a sound that was so exciting, so authentic, and so unlike anything they’d ever heard before.  In Memphis, Dewey Phillips of radio station WHBQ recognized the appeal of blues music as early as October 1949 when he first aired a forty-five minute show that featured blues musicians.  Within weeks, the show was expanded from the 10:15 p.m. to 11:00 p.m. time slot to three hours – from nine to midnight.

     Less than three years later, on March 21, 1952, Alan Freed created a riot in Cleveland when he sold 25,000 tickets to a 10,000-seat arena for his inaugural Moondog Coronation Ball.  The incident made him an overnight media star.  The following year Freed, by then working for a station in New York City, returned to Cleveland to host a rhythm & blues revue that would be the largest money maker of its kind up to that date.  The groundwork was laid for those who came along afterward – like Little Richard.

     At the same time Alan Freed and Dewey Phillips were doing their thing, Little Richard was doing his: washing dishes in the Greyhound bus station restaurant in his hometown of Macon, Georgia.  He’d cut a few songs for RCA and Peacock records, but none of them hinted at what was to come.  In 1955, New Orleans singer Lloyd Price, fresh from scoring big with Lawdy Miss Clawdy for Specialty Records, suggested that Penniman send a demo tape to Specialty owner Abe Rupe.  Rupe liked what he heard and lost no time flying Specialty A&R man Robert “Bumps” Blackwell into New Orleans to set up a recording session at Cosimo Matassa’s studio.  Some of the city’s top musicians were brought in: drummer Earl Palmer, sax players Lee Allen and Alvin “Red” Tyler, guitarists Edgar Blanchard and Justin Adams, bassist Frank Fields, and pianist Huey “Piano” Smith.  Most of the same musicians were used by producer Dave Bartholomew to back Fats Domino, Roy Brown, Shirley & Lee, and Lloyd Price.  Just whose idea it was to bring in a piano player for a Little Richard session is not quite clear but it soon became apparent that it was a mistake.

     The session began on September 14, 1955, and languished for more than two days with nothing to show for it.  Without his piano, Richard was subdued, even boring.  Not even his version of Leiber and Stoller’s Kansas City could enliven the listless session.  Blackwell wanted something raw and on the edge, something like the current Ray Charles hit I Got a Woman, but it just wasn’t happening; the studio session appeared fruitless.  Frustrated, Blackwell adjourned with Penniman and the other players for lunch at the Dew Drop Inn.

     One story has Richard, seeing the piano on the stage, leaping to the bandstand and launching into A-wop-bop-a-Loo-Bop-a-Lop-Bam-Boom. What followed was a raunchy rendition of Tutti Frutti, a song he’d been using in his shows that smacked of homosexual overtones.  Blackwell rushed everyone back to the studio for the few remaining hours for which they were booked.  The song was unacceptable in its present state, so he chased down a local songwriter, Dorothy Labostrie, to clean up the lyrics.  The problem with that strategy was Richard was the son of a minister and was unwilling to recite the lyrics to the female songwriter who was equally unwilling to hear them.  Blackwell persisted, using the argument that each of them could use the money.  Finally, with Richard facing the wall, he sang the lyrics a few times, enough for Labostrie to get a feel for the song and to write substitute lyrics.

     Labostrie remembered it differently in an interview with author Jeff Hannusch for his book I Hear You Knockin’.  She said she was listening to the radio on September 3, 1955, when she heard that Bumps Blackwell was looking for songwriters.  She said she practically broke Cosimo’s door down the next day.  Little Richard was sitting at the piano and it was the first time she ever laid eyes on him, she said, claiming that she asked to hear his voice and then sat down and put Tutti Frutti down on paper in fifteen minutes.  Little Richard, on many occasions, has said he wrote the song and that he was cheated out of songwriter’s royalties.  Little Richard didn’t write Tutti Frutti, Labostrie insisted.  She said she once lived on Galvez Street and she and a girlfriend often went to the drug store and buy ice cream.  One day we went in and saw this new flavor, tutti frutti.  She said right away she thought that would be a great idea for a song and she kept it in the back of her mind until she got to the studio that day.

     No matter which version is accurate, Huey Smith was excused from the session and Richard took over the piano.  Combining the passion of gospel and New Orleans R&B with the stylings of the local session artists, Tutti Frutti became the first of a string of Little Richard hits recorded in New Orleans for Specialty Records.  It reached number 2 on the R&B chart and number 17 on the pop charts, selling over five hundred thousand copies.  Others that followed included Long Tall Sally (his biggest hit, topping the R&B chart for eight weeks and reaching number 6 on Billboard’s Hot 100), Slippin’ and Slidin’ (number 1 on R&B and number 17 on the pop chart), Rip it Up, Ready Teddy, Heeby-Jeebies, The Girl Can’t Help It (which would become the title track to the Jayne Mansfield movie), Lucille (number 1 and 21 on the R&B and pop charts, respectively), Send Me Some Lovin’ (number 2 on the R&B chart), Keep a Knockin’ (number 2 R&B and number 8 pop), Good Golly Miss Molly (numbers four R&B and 10 pop), and Jenny, Jenny (number 2 and number 10).  Matassa remembered Little Richard’s recording sessions at his J&M Studio.  The sessions were always real high energy just because Richard was that kind of guy, he said.  Bumps Blackwell would come to town to produce the sessions for Art Rupe at Specialty.  There were always several good takes on Little Richard songs because everyone wanted to get the best take possible for Bumps who was a perfectionist, and for Richard.  The two always thought they could do better, so the sessions were extended.

     When playing white clubs, Richard required his band members to wear pancake makeup so as to act gay.  The band hated the makeup, he said in a TV Guide interview in 2000, but it was necessary or they wouldn’t have been allowed in the white clubs lest they pose a threat to the white girls.

     Then, just as abruptly as he had burst upon the scene, Little Richard Penniman, one of twelve children who grew up in poverty in the Deep South, walked away from fame and fortune.  The flamboyant performer who took the stage in sequined costumes, mascara, lipstick and a six-inch pompadour to attack his piano and to shake the rafters in his quivering falsetto, gave it all up, though it was a temporary hiatus.  The stories vary.  One says he witnessed a space satellite flare in the night sky over Australia as it re-entered the earth’s atmosphere.  The other story said he had a close call when an airplane on which he was a passenger caught fire.  Either way, it was on October 13, 1957, the fifth date of a two-week tour of Australia with Gene Vincent and Eddie Cochran.  He unexpectedly turned his back on the life of a rock & roll star, threw his diamond rings valued at eight thousand dollars into the Sydney harbor, and enrolled in Oakwood Bible College in Huntsville, Alabama, to become a Seventh Day Adventist minister.

     His exodus from rock & roll lasted five years and on October 8, 1962, he launched his comeback tour in Europe.  Opening for him at the Star Club in Hamburg was an as yet undiscovered group calling themselves the Beatles.  A year later, he again toured Europe with another unknown group, the Rolling Stones, providing the opening act.  In 1964, the Beatles released their own version of Long Tall Sally with Paul McCartney on lead vocal.  Richard next appeared with Chuck Berry, Gene Vincent, Bo Diddley, and Louisiana natives Fats Domino and Jerry Lee Lewis at a rock & roll revival show in Toronto.  In September 1972, he was reunited with the core session artists from his historic New Orleans ‘50s sessions when his album The Second Coming was released.

     In 1986, he began a series of live concerts, recording projects, television, film soundtracks, and commercials.  His unique version of the children’s tune Itsy Bitsy Spider was included on the Disney Records’ benefit album For Our Children.  The album went gold, reaping millions of dollars for the Pediatric AIDS Foundation.  He followed that with the Disney album Shake It All About, which featured children’s songs in his unique style.  He also appeared on the children’s shows Mother Goose Rock ‘n’ Rhyme and Sesame Street.  Along the way, he employed two chauffeurs who would go on to stellar careers in show business.  The first was Peter Grant, later Led Zeppelin’s manager, and the second was an employee of Specialty Records whom the company assigned to drive Richard.  His name was Sonny Bono.

     On January 23, 1986, Little Richard was one of the first ten inductees into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame.  That same year, he was featured in the movie Down and Out in Beverly Hills.  He was honored with his own star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame in 1990 and following that, he returned to his hometown of Macon, Georgia, for the dedication of Little Richard Penniman Boulevard.  In 1993, he received the Lifetime Achievement Award from the National Academy of Recording Arts and Sciences at the thirty-fifth Grammy Awards.  The following year he received a Lifetime Achievement Award from the Rhythm & Blues Foundation.  In 1997, he was presented the American Music Awards Distinguished Award of Merit in recognition of his contributions to music history.  He was inducted into the NAACP Image Awards Hall of Fame and in 2003 he was inducted into the Songwriters Hall of Fame.  Still working in 2006, he was featured as a celebrity in a GEICO Insurance television commercial.

     After six stellar decades as a performer, Little Richard’s music, humor and high energy keep him in high demand for live concert dates and guest star spots for film and television projects.  So the originator, the emancipator, the architect of rock & roll continues to rock because it would be just as impossible to diminish his influence on rock & roll music as it would be for him to walk away from his music; he tried three times and three times he came back.  James Brown, the Godfather of Soul, credited Little Richard with being the first to put the funk in the rock & roll beat.

     And it was Little Richard himself who offered an explanation for the birth of rock & roll, proclaiming that boogie-woogie and rhythm & blues mixed is rock & roll.

R.I.P, Little Richard.

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[Editor’s note: I don’t know who sent this to me and it’s not necessarily direct quotes (other than the author’s quotes on the topics covered), but I thought it worth featuring here.]

The Top Ten Things Which Prove That Donald Trump is a Stable Genius:

10.) Only he knows that the “sound of wind turbines causes cancer.”

9.) He makes speeches that nobody can understand, so he must be speaking at a level far above the average person. Much of what he says can only be heard by people who can hear “Dog Whistles”.

8.) He knows big words like “covfefe”, which most people have no idea what it means.

7.) Only he is smart enough to read between the lines of The Mueller Report and see that he is “TOTALLY and COMPLETELY EXONERATED!”, right after the passage where it says “Accordingly, while this report does not conclude that the president committed a crime, it also does not exonerate him.”

6.) Only Trump knows that, “The concept of global warming was created by and for the Chinese in order to make U.S. manufacturing non-competitive.” Tweeted by him on 11/6/2012.

5.) He got all perfect grades in all the schools he attended, which he sued to keep private, so as not to embarrass all the regular, stupid people who voted for him.

4.) Who else knew about the capture of all the airports during the Revolutionary War?

3.) The fact that he won’t release his tax returns lends credence to the fact that he is a genius at not paying taxes.

2.) The fact that dozens of people who surround him daily, say that he doesn’t read anything, proves that he already must know everything.

1.) He has all the degrees possible from Trump University.

 

 

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