Louisiana Voice

When we last visited Jackson Parish, former sheriff Andy Brown and his chief investigator, Donovan Shultz had RESIGNED, apparently to pursue other BUSINESS INTERESTS. But for a rural parish, things don’t seem to have cooled down much on the political front—especially as it involves the sheriff’s office which seems to find controversy with little effort.

There’s no shortage of candidates to succeed Brown. Two of those include interim Sheriff BRENT BARNETT, a veteran of 32 years in law enforcement, most recently as chief deputy, and CODY CHEATWOOD, former chief investigator for the sheriff’s office.

From here, it looks like a pretty lively campaign for the next four months until the May 16 special election. Both men have some negatives to overcome and might just get some unexpected challenges from two other candidates.

First of all, let’s consider Cheatwood, who was first hired by the sheriff’s office in 1984.

In 2016, he was ARRESTED in March 2015 on 16 counts of possession of a legend drug, one count of criminal conspiracy, one count of malfeasance in office, 16 counts of attempted conspiracy and a single count of obstruction of justice. He posted a $10,000 bond after being lowered from $220,000 at the request of his attorney. Vickie Booker, another of the defendants, was accused of stealing $56,131. Most of the counts against Cheatwood were dropped by the attorney general’s office.

He retired from the sheriff’s office in December 2014.

Also arrested at the same time were three others, including Cheatwood’s wife, Elizabeth Cheatwood, who at the time was Human Resources Director at Jackson Parish Hospital. She was accused of stealing $99,451. Her bond was originally set at $315,000 but was reduced to $20,000. Neither served any jail time although Mrs. Cheatwood was said to have made restitution.

(All of which raises, or should raise, the obvious question: had the defendants been black or even white without the influence or connections, would they have beel allowed to simply make restitution with no jail time? Askin’ for a friend.)

Barnett, while not burdened with such baggage, nevertheless doesn’t appear to be complying with the strict wording of Louisiana campaign law (not that that seems to matter much in Louisiana politics, given the anemic State Ethics Board we are saddled with).

It seems he has been using a pickup truck—and possibly other vehicles—owned by the sheriff’s office in his campaign. That’s a big no-no: According to STATE LAW:

In Louisiana, it is generally illegal for any public official, including an appointed sheriff, to use department vehicles or other public property for personal campaign activities. 

• Constitutional Restriction: Article VII, §14 of the Louisiana Constitution prohibits the donation or misuse of public funds/property for non-public purposes.
• Political Activity Ban: Louisiana law (R.S. 18:1465) explicitly prohibits using public funds or property to urge electors to vote for or against any candidate.
• Case Precedent: The Louisiana Attorney General has previously indicated that using patrol cars or city-owned vehicles for campaign purposes, such as placing campaign signs, is illegal.
• Exceptions: Department vehicles must only be used for official business or authorized commuting. While some argue a sheriff is “never off duty,” using a vehicle for direct campaign activities (like visiting supporters or transporting campaign materials) violates state laws regarding the misuse of public funds. 

Yet, there’s this from last month’s Christmas parade in Jonesboro:

Complete with campaign poster on passenger door

Simply put, an appointed sheriff in Louisiana cannot use a department vehicle for personal campaign use. Louisiana law explicitly prohibits the use of public resources to promote candidates or political activities. Department vehicles are for official business, and their use for personal activities like campaigning is a misuse of public property.

One thing you can say about Louisiana politics in general and Jackson Parish politics in particular is there doesn’t appear to be a dull moment.

As further evidence that he is in the latter stages of dementia and suffering from acute narcissism, that he is delusional and unfit for office, Donald Trump, aka “Doddering Don,” has really taken a plunge off the deep end of the pool with the latest revelation of his note to Norway Prime Minister Jonas Gahr Støre in which he somehow manages (in his increasingly confused mind) to tie his failure to win the Nobel Peace Prize to his contemplating the invasion of Greenland.

It’s not a misprint or a typo, folks. It’s the real thing. Read it again slowly. Take the potential implications in.

Still don’t believe me? Here is the link to the latest version of the Trump Crazy Train: https://www.pbs.org/newshour/world/norwegian-leader-says-he-received-trump-message-that-reportedly-ties-greenland-to-nobel-peace-prize

If you’re like me, you’re probably wondering about now how long this country–this planet–can continue to accommodate the addled toddler trantrums of this obviously mentally incapicitated individual. How much longer can the Repugnantcan Party blithely look the other way while attempting to ignore the rantings of ketchup-flinging brat-child? This, I remind you, is the same political party (by name only) that eventually was forced to admit that Nixon was no longer fit for office. If the Repugnantcans were unable to tolerate a blowjob for Bill Clinton, how the hell can they excuse what he’s doing (I could use the coarse description, but the decency I have left prohibits that) to the entire nation?

Sorry to say, the Repugnantcan Party is long past being the Party of Lincoln or Teddy Roosevelt or Eisenhower. It’s now the party of thugs, thieves and despots who could not care less about your health care, the poor and homeless, your rights or the price of groceries. But they for damned sure are concerned about your bedroom, your penises and your vaginas.

And Mike Johnson and John N. Kennedy (and I suppose, Bill Cassidy, even though he’s toast) will somehow justify this latest humiliation. They, along with Letlow, KKK Scalise and Clay Higgins, will be the “see no evil, hear no evil and speak no evil” among our elected officials in Washington. Likewise, our squeaky-toy governor and his sock puppet attorney general will wait in line for their turn at the Agent Orange butt kissing booth.

But here’s the prediction I will make and I bet it rolls out exactly as I envision it:

Press Secretary Carolying Leavett will try to explain what Yam Tits really meant in his note to Norway’s prime minister and the Mango Mussolini will follow that by explaining he was just joking. And why wouldn’t he be joking? He already got his Nobel from Maria Corina Machado.

Regardless, after all that, J.D. Vance will re-open the debate with some totally off-the-wall, irrelevant gooney-babble that no one will really comprehend.

And the Epstein files will remain in the possession of Pam Bondi, unreleased as we deal with yet another distraction caused by Dorito Face.

A reader wrote: “My friend showed me his medical degree from Harvard. Now I’m a surgeon.”

In line with that joke about Trump’s “participation trophy” (even though he never participated), another friend came up with an absolutely brilliant idea:

Go into your attic, storeroom or wherever, and dig out all your old, useless trophies (especially any old participation trophies) and send them to Donald J. Trump, 1600 Pennsylvania Ave., Washington, D.C. 20004.

Or you can send them to Trump The Mar-a-Lago Club, 1100 South Ocean Boulevard, Palm Beach, Florida 33480

He wants participation trophies, give him participation trophies.

Do it! They can’t do anything about someone’s wanting to share his accomplishments with ol’ Yam Tits!

Even Milli Vanilli gets in on the growing wave of sharing:

And then, there’s this:

(Yeah, I know it’s all AI, but damn! Ain’t it fun!)