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(Editor’s note: at least one person failed to detect the parody in a recent posting about the Delhi Charter School, so leaving nothing to chance, we’re letting everyone know up front that the headline is tongue-in-cheek as are a couple of comments in the body of this story.)

Not only was Gov. Piyush Jindal not among the top six finalists in the recent Mitt Romney Vice Presidential Sweepstakes, it now turns out that Louisiana’s absentee governor is not even among the top 15 in what he does best: eliminating state jobs.

That may explain in part why Romney, who once said he likes to fire people, did not include Jindal on his short list of five potential running mates whom he called last week to let them know he had decided on Rep. Paul Ryan of Wisconsin. Jindal was so far down that list that he didn’t even warrant a courtesy call.

Even though the Governor in-Abstentia has eliminated more than 6,000 state jobs during the months between June 2011 and June 2012, that wasn’t good enough to put him in the top 15 for placing workers in the unemployment lines who have mortgages, tuition costs, and other living expenses, according to a report just released by the National Governors’ Association and the National Association of State Budget Officers (NASBO).

Apparently, the 6,400 positions cut in this year’s budget were not factored into the equation. If they had been, that almost certainly would have vaulted Piyush to within a heartbeat of the presidency. State job losses, after all, appear to translate to economic gains in the eyes or our globetrotting governor.

“States go to great lengths to avoid layoffs,” NASBO Executive Director Scott Pattinson said, exposing the naked truth that he has not been to Louisiana since 2008.

For that matter, the Disappearing Governor hasn’t been in the state much since then himself.

Pattinson also pointed out that laying off employees is not always the best fiscal strategy. “Firing state government workers often does not result in money saved in the short term. Once required benefits and severance (unemployment payments) are included, states may not see savings for at least a full fiscal year.”

The study attributed the widespread layoffs of state government employees to a stalled recovery from the recession and “shifting political pressure.” That shifting political pressure alluded to may be traced back to the American Legislative Exchange Council (ALEC), which is very up front in its advocacy of massive state employee layoffs and equally impressive tax breaks for corporate friends of all politicians of a Republican stripe.

To that end, Jindal, the Incredible Vanishing Governor, invisible to the naked eye, has been most compliant. While many corporate tax breaks and incentives were already in place well before he assumed office in January of 2008, he has nevertheless encouraged the continuance and expansion of those breaks—to the state treasury’s financial detriment of approximately $5 billion per year.

But have no fear, Ghost-Governor Piyush the Magnificent, upon his return—if he ever does return—is almost certain to pick up where he left off. With the announced closure of prisons and state hospitals, teacher layoffs in virtually every parish because of his ill-conceived voucher scheme, and deep cuts to the LSU medical school’s programs, he is sure to begin cutting into the lead of the states ahead of Louisiana in the layoff game.

If Piyush truly is a disciple of “trickle-down economics” (and Rush Limbaugh did refer to him as the next Ronald Reagan), then we can anticipate additional layoffs at the local level—by parish and municipal governments—as the excrement begins to flow downhill.

In case you may be curious, in no particular order other than alphabetical, here are the top 15 states in layoffs:
• Alabama
• California
• Connecticut
• Florida
• Maryland
• Massachusetts
• Michigan
• Missouri
• Nebraska
• Nevada
• New Mexico
• Ohio
• Oregon
• South Dakota
• Washington

It should be pointed out that there was no significant edge for one political party over another in the layoff Race to the Top (where have we seen that before?): The party representation is as equal as possible, given there is an odd number of ranking states. Eight of the top 15 states have Republican governors and seven of the governors are Democrats.

And lest political observers worry about the state’s rankings, not to worry.

We’re pretty sure that Louisiana easily ranks No. 1 in the number of days in which the Phantom of Governor’s Office has been out of state.

That’s gotta count for something.

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The clock has run out on Gov. Bobby Jindal and like the Honey Badger, he’s now yesterday’s news insofar as any aspirations either one may have had for bigger and better things.

Realistically, time had run out on Louisiana’s wunderkind some time ago even though like a loyal trooper, he keeps soldiering on—perhaps hoping for a prestigious cabinet position like Secretary of Health and Human Services, something he denies aspiring to.

“I would not consider a cabinet post,” he sniffed like the spoiled little boy that he is after being passed over for the vice presidential nomination by Mitt Romney. “I consider being the governor of Louisiana to be more important and the best job there is.” Well, it is the only job he has for the moment and if he doesn’t challenge Mary Landrieu in 2014, we’re stuck with him through 2015.

Break out the champagne.

We can only surmise that Secretary of Education is out of the question since both Romney and Paul Ryan advocate that department’s abolishment in favor of state and local control (read: vouchers), although Romney has tempered his position somewhat.

But Jindal’s real quandary is not that he was passed over for vice president, but that he needs desperately to advance his career quickly—before all his “reforms” as governor come crashing down around him, doing even more damage to his reputation than that disastrous response to President Obama’s State of the Union Address in 2009.

That image as the crusading reformer who gets things done against all odds is already beginning to wear thin in Louisiana and it’s only a matter of time before the national media begin to take a critical look at his administration. The Washington Post and New York Times already have.

Beginning with his repeal of the Stelly Plan only a few months into his first term—the move is costing the state about $300 million a year while benefiting only couples earning more than $150,000 per year or individuals making $90,000 per year—through this year’s veto of a car rental tax renewal for New Orleans, Jindal his consistently found ways to cut taxes while doling out tax breaks to corporate entities.

In 2011, the legislature could not muster the votes to override a Jindal veto of a cigarette tax renewal and the renewal had to go before voters in the form of a constitutional amendment—which easily passed.

While he defiantly categorizes tax renewals as “new taxes,” to which he is adamantly opposed, he has no compunctions about cutbacks to higher education that force colleges and universities to increase tuition. He considers the tuition hikes as “fees,” not taxes.

While turning up his nose at federal grants for early childhood development ($60 million), broadband internet installation in rural parishes ($80.6 million) and for a high-speed rail system between Baton Rouge and New Orleans ($300 million), Jindal, upon slashing funding for parish libraries throughout the state, apparently saw no inconsistency in suggesting that the libraries apply for federal monies in lieu of state funding.

The grumblings began ever-so-slowly but they have been growing steadily. The legislature, albeit the right-wing Tea Party splinter clique of the Republican Party, finally stood up to Jindal toward the end of this year’s legislative session and refused to give in on the governor’s efforts to use one-time revenue to close a gaping hole in the state budget.

Other developments that did not bode well for the governor include:

• A state budget that lay in shambles, resulting in mid-year budget cuts of $500 million because of reductions in revenue—due largely to the roughly $5 billion per year in corporate tax breaks;

• Unexpected cuts to the state’s Medicaid program by the federal government which cost the state $859 million, including $329 million the first year to hospitals and clinics run by Louisiana State University—about a quarter of the health system’s annual budget. Those cuts will mean the loss of medical benefits for about 300,000 indigent citizens in Louisiana;

• Failed efforts to privatize state prisons, even though he did manage to close two prison facilities and a state hospital without bothering to notify legislators in the areas affected—a huge bone of contention for lawmakers who, besides having their own feathers ruffled, had to try and explain the sudden turn of events to constituents;

• Revelation that he had refused to return some $55,000 in laundered campaign funds from a St. Tammany bank president;

• Failed efforts to revamp the state employee retirement system for civil service employees. State police were exempted—perhaps because they form his security detail. And despite questions about the tax or Social Security implications, Jindal plans to plunge ahead with implementation of the part of the plan that did pass without the benefit of a ruling by the IRS—a ruling that could ultimately come back to bite him;

• A failed effort by the Sabine River Authority to sell water to a corporation headed up by two major Jindal campaign contributors—Donald “Boysie” Bollinger of Lockport and Aubrey Temple of DeRidder;

• A school voucher system that is nothing less than a train wreck, a political nightmare. State Education Superintendent John White, after Jindal rushed the voucher program through the legislature, rushed the vetting process for the awarding of vouchers through the Board of Elementary and Secondary Education, abetted by members Penny Dastugue, Jay Guillot and Chas Roemer—quickly turning the entire process into a pathetic farce;

• A school in New Orleans run by a man calling himself an “Apostle,” a school in Ruston with no facilities—classrooms, desks, books or teachers—for the 165 vouchers for which the school was approved, tentative approval of vouchers for a school in DeRidder that could not even spell “scholarship” on its sign and for a school in Westlake that teaches that the “Trail of Tears” led many Native Americans to Christianity, that dragons were real, that dinosaurs and humans co-existed at the beginning of time (6,000 years ago, the approximate age of earth, according to its textbooks), that slave owners in America were kind, benevolent masters who treated slaves well, and that the Ku Klux Klan was a helpful reform-minded organization with malice toward none (Don’t laugh, folks; this is what many of these fundamentalist schools who qualified for vouchers are teaching.);

• Then there’s that charter school in Delhi that held girls to a slightly higher standard than boys. Any girl who became pregnant was expelled and any girl even suspected of being pregnant may be ordered to undergo an examination by a doctor of the school’s choice. The boy who gets her pregnant? Nothing. No punishment, no responsibility. Only after being subjected to public exposure, ridicule and criticism did the school alter its policy;

• A state legislator who said she approved of vouchers for Christian schools but not for an Islamic school in New Orleans because this country was founded on the Christian principles of the founding fathers, neglecting for the moment that the founding fathers were for the most part, Deists;

• And to top it all off, White smiles condescendingly and tells us that the criteria applied for approval of vouchers for these schools is part of the “deliberative process,” a catch-all exemption employed by the administration when it doesn’t wish to provide what are clearly public records—an administration, by the way, that touts its so-called “transparency.” Fortunately for the public, the Monroe News-Star is taking White’s pompous behind to court over that decision. (Confidentially, it is the humble opinion of LouisianaVoice that White never had any criteria and that he is creating policy and criteria on the fly because he simply is in way over his inexperienced, unqualified head as the leader of the agency charged with the education of our children. And that perhaps is the most shameful aspect of the entire voucher system and the single biggest act of betrayal on the part of a governor equally overwhelmed by the responsibilities of public office—especially an absentee governor.)

So as the Jindal Express rumbles down the track like a bad motorcycle going 90 miles per hour down a dead-end street (with apologies to Hank Snow) and things begin to unravel on the home front, just where is this absentee governor?

Well, it seems that rather than remain in the state and address the problems that are piling up and growing more complex with each passing day, he seems to prefer to spend his time stumping for Romney—or auditioning for a cabinet position he says he won’t accept—after seeing his chances for the vice presidency fall by the wayside.

A mature governor, a caring governor, a capable governor—one who is truly concerned about the welfare of his state—would defer from flitting all over the country spouting rhetoric on behalf of his presidential candidate in favor of remaining at home and addressing problems that are very real and very important to the people who elected him. Romney, after all, never once voted for Jindal.

There could be only one motive for turning his back on nearly 600,000 voters who first elected him in 2007 and the 673,000 who re-elected him last fall: he doesn’t really care about Louisiana and its people; he cares only about Bobby Jindal and those who can help him in the advancement of his political career.

If Gov. Jindal was truly concerned about the welfare of Louisiana, he certainly would have provided us with an encore of his hurricane and BP spill disaster performances: he would have headed straight to Assumption Parish to grab some TV face time at the Bayou Corne sinkhole and then flown away in a helicopter even as a ghost writer busied himself penning a book sequel: Failed Leadership and Fiscal Crisis: the Crash Landing.

That’s the very least he could do.

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Ninety-five of her fellow House members agreed with Rep. Katrina Jackson (D-Monroe).

Her HB 1104 that would have required state agencies which administer tax credits, exemptions and rebates to report certain information needed by the Legislative Auditor’s Office in determining whether each tax credit, exemption or rebate was “effectuating the purpose they were enacted to achieve” passed 96-0 in the House and by a 35-0 vote in the Senate.

In the end, it appears that Gov. Piyush Jindal had the only vote that counted and he voted no in vetoing the bill, proclaiming that safeguards against abuses were already in place.

Never mind that over the past four years, Louisiana has given away $18 billion in corporate tax exemptions, plus about $300 million per year lost by the repeal of the Stelly Plan.

Almost lost in all of this is an April 25 Legislative Auditor’s report which says in effect that those safeguards Jindal alluded to don’t really work.

The Louisiana Department of Economic Development’s Enterprise Zone program “does not meet the statutory purpose of the program, which is to stimulate business and industrial growth in enterprise zones,” the 17-page audit report says.

The state’s EZ, program is a jobs incentive program that provides Louisiana income and franchise tax credits to businesses hiring at least 35 percent of net, new jobs from one of four targeted groups:

• Residency;

• New employees who heretofore were receiving some form of public assistance;

• New employees below the ninth grade proficiency in reading, writing or math;

• New employees who are unemployable by traditional standards.

Enterprise zones are areas with high unemployment, low income or a high percentage of residents receiving some form of public assistance. A business must create permanent net, new jobs at the EZ site.

Such jobs must be created upon the start date of the project or of construction and either increase current workforce by 10 percent within the first 12 months or create a minimum of five net, new jobs within the first 24 months.

When the state’s Enterprise Zone, or EZ, program was created in 1981, it was designated to stimulate growth in enterprise zones by providing tax incentives to businesses that locate to and operate in those areas. Act 977 of 1999, however, eliminated the requirement that businesses must locate to or operate in an enterprise zone to qualify for EZ incentives, the report noted.

Benefits to the employer include the following:
• A one-time $2,500 credit per new job;

• Rebates of 4 percent of sales taxes on materials, machinery, furniture or equipment;

• The earning of a 1.5 percent refundable investment tax credit.

Businesses may receive EZ incentives for creating part-time jobs, jobs that provide a smaller economic impact and which provide no employee benefits such as health care or retirement plans. This means a business creating a single 20-hour part-time minimum wage ($7.25 per hour) job with an economic impact of $7,450 receives the same EZ incentive as a business creating a single 35-hour full-time minimum wage job with an economic impact of $13,195, plus benefits, the report said.

Moreover, a business is not even required to be located in an EZ and does not have to invest money—only create additional jobs—to qualify.

Louisiana also approves retail businesses, where jobs easily transfer or shift from one business to another with no real gain in the number of jobs, to receive EZ program incentives.

Finally, Louisiana law prohibits the disclosure of the amount of incentives received by businesses and in so doing, denies the public of its right to know how its tax money is spent.

The audit says that during calendar years 2008 (Jindal’s first year in office) through 2010:

• 632 of 930 businesses (68 percent) receiving EZ program incentives were located outside a designated enterprise zone;

• Those 632 businesses received approximately 123.9 million (61 percent) of the $203.1 million in total EZ program incentives granted;

• Approximately $3.9 billion (60 percent) of the $6.5 billion in capital investment by the 930 businesses receiving incentives was located outside a designated EZ;

• Approximately 12,570 (75 percent) of the 16,760 net new jobs created by the 930 businesses were located outside an EZ.

The number and dollar amounts of EZ incentives have increased dramatically since Jindal took office in January of 2008. In 2007, the year before he took office, there were $25.4 million in EZ program incentives approved. In his first two years in office, 2008 and 2009, the amount was about $60 million for each year and in 2010, the amount jumped to $109.6 million, according to information provided by the Louisiana Department of Revenue.

The Department of Revenue could only provide date by fiscal year whereas all other data were from calendar years, thus the difference between the $229.8 million reported by Revenue for the three years of 2008-2010 as opposed to the $203.1 million reported by the Louisiana Department of Economic Development.

Using Revenue’s numbers, the $229.8 million approved during Jindal’s first three years in office eclipsed the previous seven fiscal years’ combined total of $202 million.

“We also determined how Louisiana’s EZ program differs from those in other competing neighboring states—Alabama, Arkansas, Mississippi and Texas,” the audit report said.

Some of the differences included:

• Alabama and Mississippi require businesses to be located in an enterprise zone in order to receive EZ program incentives;

• All four neighboring states exclude retail industries from EZ incentive program qualification;

• None of the four allows businesses to include part-time employees;

• Alabama, Arkansas and Texas require companies to prove the creation of net new jobs before receiving any EZ program incentives. In Louisiana, businesses have up to two years to create the required minimum number of net new jobs;

• Texas requires that the names of businesses that participate in its EZ program and the amounts of incentives each business receives be made public. Louisiana law prohibits the disclosure of the amount of incentives received by each business.

The report suggested that these shortcomings be remedied by corrective legislation.

That, in essence, is what Rep. Jackson attempted to do with her HB 1004 that was approved unanimously in both chambers.

But Gov. Piyush Jindal would have none of it.

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“Over the last four and a half years, we have outperformed the national and southern economies, and in order to continue to attract business investment, we need to stay competitive with the rest of the country and the world.”

–Gov. Piyush Jindal, on signing into law two bills to “increase economic competitiveness” by creating a corporate headquarters relocation program.

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Add another negative to the list for Louisiana.

While Gov. Piyush Jindal trots all over the country telling everyone who will listen about the state’s robust economy, the low unemployment rate and the incredibly favorable business climate, a national study has revealed that Louisiana has the third widest gap between rich and poor, roughly equivalent to some Third World countries.

The report, by 24/7 Wall Street, employs the widely accepted Gini coefficient which measures income inequality to arrive at its results. The Gini coefficient is a number between zero and one with zero representing perfect income equality and a place with a score of one would have only extremely wealthy and extremely poor people, with no middle class.

The state Gini coefficients range from .419 in Utah to .499 in New York, indicating that all 50 states have relatively high income inequality compared to the rest of the world.

The most alarming aspect of the latest results is the trend toward a widening gap, the report indicates. In 1967, the Gini coefficient for the U.S. was .397. Today, it is .469, evidence that America’s income divide has become greater.

The widening gap between rich and poor has been a growing issue between Republicans and Democrats on both the national and state levels.

Many of Jindal’s proposed programs, critics say, would do much toward widening that breach even further. The privatization of state agencies would result in layoffs of state employees and Jindal’s proposed retirement reforms would have sharply reduced state pensions. Cuts to higher education have resulted in further layoffs.

New York, with a Gini coefficient of .499, had the largest disparity between rich and poor despite having the sixth highest (7.4 percent) percentage of households earning $200,000 or more per year. At the same time, New York’s 14.1 percent of population living below the poverty line was 21st highest in the nation.

Louisiana, with a Gini coefficient of .475, was third behind Connecticut’s .486.

Even though the state’s unemployment rate was lower than the national average and the lowest on the list, Louisianans are limited in other areas that limit upward mobility, the report says. Only 82.5 percent of Louisiana residents older than 25 had a high school diploma and only 21.8 percent had a college degree.

And while the unemployment rate is comparatively low, 15.3 percent of the state’s residents received food stamps and the Louisiana median income is 10th lowest in the nation. The 17.7 percent of the state’s population living below the poverty line was fifth lowest in the U.S., the report shows.

Louisiana’s Gini coefficient of .475 is comparable to those of Ecuador (.469), Madagascar (.475), Nepal (.472) and Rwanda (.468), according to a worldwide ranking of Gini coefficients by the CIA.

Any comparison of Louisiana to those countries in misleading, however, because the Gini coefficient takes into account only the disparity between rich and poor and not median or household income.

Other states named as having income large gaps between rich and poor in the report, in order, include:

• Massachusetts (.475);
• Florida (.474);
• Alabama (.472);
• California (.471);
• Texas (.469);
• Georgia (.468);
• Mississippi (.468)

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