Louisiana Voice

Well, Trump has really done it this time and I have nothing left but to shut my big mouth and concede that the man is going to both keep me healthy and make me prosper by simply dropping by my local pharmacy and picking up my prescription drugs.

He’s bringing drug prices down. He says so himself. Not 30%, 40% or 50%, but by enormous numbers. Here, I’ll let him tell you in his own words that he spoke during a reception with members of Congress:

“We will have reduced drug prices by 1000%, but 1,100%, 1,200%, 1,300%, 1,400%, 700%, 600%. Not 30% or 40% or 50%. But numbers [the] likes of which you’ve never even dreamed of. We’re gonna get the drug prices down. Not 30% or 40%, which would be great. Not 50% or 60%. No, we’re gonna get them down 1,000%, 600%, 500%, 1,500%. Numbers that are not even though to be achievable.”

Damn! He’s a freakin’ genius!

Right now, I’m on daily does of Allopurinol, Atorvastatin, Isosorbide, Tamsulosin, Bisoprolol, Ezetimibe, Ranolazine, Farxiga, Amlodipine, Gabapentin, Baclofen, Loperamide, Calcitriol and Torsemide, along with a few non-prescription vitamins.

But for the undying dedication of Mr. Trump, I’d be paying a tidy sum. Thanks to him, however, the pharmacy’s gonna be paying me to take all that medication.

Can you imagine? Instead of cutting the cost 100%, which would place them at zero cost, he’s gonna cut the costs by as much as 1,500%.

Like I said, a freakin’ genius.

No longer shall I be referring to him as Old Yam Tits or Count Flatula. That’s just rude. No, from now on, I’m going to sit back and count all the money my pharmacy is going to be paying me and thanking Cheeto Benito, aka Don Whoreleone, profusely.

As another writer said, my flabbers are completely gasted.

Here’s the story as reported by Salon (Salon has a paywall, so I can’t provide a line; I have to show it this way):

President Donald Trump claimed to be planning a massive reduction in drug costs for Americans, but critics were quick to point out his numbers don’t add up.

In a reception with members of Congress on Tuesday, Trump spoke about lowering drug prices for Americans at a time when cuts to programs like Medicaid are on the horizon.

In doing so, Trump promised some truly staggering figures.

“We will have reduced drug prices by 1000%, by 1,100%, 1,200%, 1,300%, 1,400%, 700%, 600%.  Not 30% or 40% or 50%. But numbers likes of which you’ve never even dreamed of.”   

“We’re gonna get the drug prices down,” Trump said. “Not 30% or 40%, which would be great. Not 50% or 60%. No, we’re gonna get them down 1,000%, 600%, 500%, 1,500%. Numbers that are not even thought to be achievable.” 

Trump’s comments left social media users scratching their heads. Users asked X’s AI chatbot Grok about Trump’s claims. Grok variously called them “mathematically impossible,” “hyperbolic,” and in one case, “total bullsh**t.”

Several accounts pointed to the impossibility of “negative numbers” for drug prices, along with the idea of “getting paid to take drugs.”

One user put it more bluntly: “Cant wait fill my next zpack at cvs and leave with a stack of their money”

Trump claimed that an executive order signed in May would pave the way for reduced drug costs by invoking “most-favored nation” status on drug prices. In theory, pharmaceutical companies could not charge Americans anymore for drugs than they were charging citizens in other countries.

However, talks between the Trump administration and pharmaceutical companies have been ongoing, with one executive calling them “inconclusive” by according to Bio Pharma Dive.

In his first administration, Trump touted a war on drug prices in the wake of COVID-19, but failed to deliver on price reductions, with members of his own party referring to the idea as “socialist price controls.”

Hats off to the Art of the Deal.