Louisiana Voice

I’ve come up with what I believe is the perfect formula for the Democratic Party to rally the nation around its cause and to rid the country of those ‘ME TOO” Republicans from the nation’s political landscape.

It’s simple, really. All they have to do is find the most inane, nonsensical issue, put it out there on some social media platform for the lowest of the IQ to absorb. Rinse. Repeat. Rinse. Repeat.

That’s all it takes. Just look at the catch-phrases picked up by MAGA: fake news, witch hunt, DEI, deep state, drain the swamp, alternative facts, hoax and the latest, Make America Healthy Again (MAHA). Instantly, as if on cue (and who’s to say they weren’t?), his ardent admirers begin to chant the latest as if they’d shared an epiphany in the same instant and stumbled upon the Holy Grail itself.

The latest examples, brought down to the local level, are bills that poppled up in this year’s legislative session in Baton Rouge, inspired by brain-worm, dead-bear-planting, whale-decapitating, sewage-swimming Robert F. Kennedy Jr.

State Sen. Patrick McMath (R-Covington) is about to see his SENATE BILL 14 become law. Funny how that really was never an issue before – until, that is, Kennedy and Agent Orange’s pick for surgeon general, holistic doctor and wellness influencer Casey Means rolled out the bandwagon for all the little MAGHATS to climb aboard.

Speaking of which, here’s a suggestion for an event to hold in conjunction with Trump’s June 14 birthday parade to be held in his honor:

The other bill gives credence (gasp!) to Marjorie Taylor-Greene, the Georgia congressperson who remains convinced that Jewish laser beams start California forest fires and that Democrats are actually controlling the weather.

State Sen. Michael “Big Mike” Fesi (R-Houma) is such a devotee to the absurd claim that he is pushing his SENATE BILL 46 which would prohibit such nefarious behavior on the part of the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA). That nonsense actually passed the Senate vote by 35-0 with four senators opting to go fishing that day and miss such a crucial vote. One of the four absentees was none other than McMath who was apparently in consultation with Kennedy and Means. Once both those subjects became issues for Kennedy, all the little MAGHATS couldn’t wait to make it their very own. Funny how that works.

Now if the Democrats would just start pounding opponents with zippy nicknames, hell, the Repugnantcans (see how easy that is?) wouldn’t stand a chance.

I mean, just look how the term TACO is making Trump and his sycophants squirm and fidget. The reaction is both hysterically hilarious and hilariously hysterical. Vice President J.D. Vance, with nothing better to do, has come out SWINGING AT DEMOCRATS for daring to park a Taco truck outside Republican headquarters. (Better take a look, J.D., it could be a Tesla Taco Truck:

Of course, Crock-A-Lardo‘s feathers are ruffled and he has surrogate J.D. Vance screaming “Fowl.”

This is the same J.D. Vance, mind you, who nine years ago called Trump an “idiot” and even compared his future boss to ADOLF HITLER. But, yeah, a taco truck in front of GOP headquarters is a cheap shot and the Dems should be ashamed of themselves.

Really? Let’s look at some of the shots fired by Cadet Bone Spurs at some of his opponents. With most, it will be unnecessary to clarify whom he is referring to, so we won’t bother with the obvious ones:

• Crooked Joe; Joe Hiden; Sleepy Joe, Slow Joe.
• Low Energy Jeb.
• Alfred E. Neuman (Pete Buttigieg).
• Coco Chow (Elaine Chao, Mitch McConnell’s wife).
• Low IQ War Hawk (Liz Cheney)
• Crazy Hillary; Crooked Hillary; Lyin’ Hillary.
• Slimbeball James Comey.
• Lyin’ Tec (Cruz).
• Ron DeSanctimonious.
• Al Frankenstein.
• Birdbrain (Nikki Haley).
• Little Marco.
• Pencil Neck (Adam Schiff)

You get the picture. (Although I do like the names he gave to DeSantis and Schiff. They’re pretty funny.)

So, the obvious strategy here is to manufacture dubious issues, keep up the drumbeat no matter what the fact-checkers say, hurl epithets right and left and then scream bloody murder when someone hits you with a zinger like TACO Don.

Come to think of it, my solution sounds a lot like Louisiana politics – like when Edwin Edwards kissed opponent Puggy Moity on the cheek after Moity had implied that Edwards was gay or when one of Earl Long’s opponents was hospitalized after a car wreck and Long said he went to the hospital to check on him because “if he dies, they might put somebody good in the race who’d beat both of us,” or when, in 1991, when Edwards was in a runoff with David Duke, bumper stickers cropped up all over the state that said, “Vote for the crook; it’s important.”