Louisiana Voice

The state is so broke that the budget for the coming fiscal year failed to include an appropriation to fund the 2016 presidential primaries.

That was the gist of the story in the Washington Post on Thursday. http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/govbeat/wp/2015/03/19/louisiana-is-so-poor-that-it-cant-afford-to-hold-presidential-primaries-in-2016/?postshare=1031426855232281

Yeah, right.

The story goes on to say that Bobby Jindal signed a law last year that moved up the state’s primaries by two weeks in order to give Louisiana a jump on some other presidential primaries in order to attract more national attention to the state—and, presumably, to Jindal’s own presidential aspirations.

And therein lies the real story.

Legislators on Wednesday discovered that money to fund the primaries was absent from Jindal’s budget proposal for the coming year. “I have no funding for elections past the fall elections,” Secretary of State Tom Schedler told the House Appropriations Committee.

Washington Post reporter Jeff Guo, either playing along or oblivious to the political realities, dutifully wrote that it was “something of a mystery” how such an important budget item managed to be deleted.

LouisianaVoice, of course has the real story.

Guo noted accurately that Commissioner of Administration Kristy Nichols is responsible for the executive budget, adding that her staff annually meets with state agency heads to arrive at the appropriate funding levels to be recommended by the administration.

Schedler said he left his final budget meeting with Jindal’s people under the impression that the $3.5 million necessary to finance the primary elections next March was there, only to later learn it wasn’t.

And of course, Jindal’s people, never known for accepting responsibility when things go south, pointed the finger at the Secretary of State. “Ultimately, the discretion on cuts comes from the head of the agency,” sniffed Meghan Parrish in speaking for Nichols who doubtless was off to another boy band concert in New Orleans.

“He (Schedler) decides…what’s funded and what’s not,” she added.

Schedler had originally requested a budget of $52.6 million for his office but got only $47 million. That budget will be necessary to fund the governor’s race this fall and legislative races.

The dialog quickly degenerated into a he said, she said exchange.

Schedler said he gave a heads-up to Jindal’s people (aka whiz kids without the whiz) in his reports that the primary elections would be among the things that would be deleted if his budget continued to shrink.

Parrish, however, (again speaking for Nichols who must have been enjoying the concert) said her boss doesn’t remember any such conversation during budget talks.

Budget or no budget, state law mandates that the primaries be held—and that they be paid for. It would require a legislative vote to skip the 2016 primaries and that’s not unprecedented.

In fact, legislators did skip the 1984 primary, claiming there were insufficient funds to finance the primary anticipated to cost between $1.3 million and $2 million.

So what is that real story that LouisianaVoice has the exclusive on?

A 28 percent approval rating for Jindal in Louisiana.

Jindal may be a lot of things: an idiot, a delusional egoist, a ruthless politician who would—and will—do whatever it takes to promote Bobby Jindal, but one thing he is not: stupid. He can read the numbers and while he still harbors a passionate belief that he can con voters outside Louisiana, he knows that after nearly eight years of his mismanagement, aimless policies, and quid pro quo favors for benefactors, the people of this state have seen quite enough of Bobby Jindal.

Robert Mann, in his blog Something Like the Truth, today had one of the best articulated arguments in favor of Jindal’s immediate resignation. http://bobmannblog.com/2015/03/20/gov-jindal-its-time-to-resign/

To bring the picture into focus, let’s review the chronology of events as reconstructed in the fertile minds of the staff of LouisianaVoice:

• A year ago, Jindal was really beginning to ramp up his presidential campaign. He had begun his repeated trips into Iowa and New Hampshire and appearing on TV and radio shows and writing op-eds to talk up the “Louisiana Miracle.” So when the bill came sliding across his desk as he, Timmy Teepell and Kyle Plotkin were mapping out his presidential strategy, it seemed only natural that the Louisiana primary would be his opportunity to make a decisive statement to the rest of the country.

Jindal: “Here’s that presidential primary bill, Timmy. What do you think?”

Teepell (as he fills out a bank deposit slip for his political consulting fee through OnMessage): “Bobby, look what you’ve done for Louisiana. Now you have the chance to show the world what you’re made of.”

Bobby (as he writes another check to OnMessage): “You’re right, of course. I mean, we’ve cut 300,000 deadbeats from state payrolls, we’re on our way to depleting that fat surplus at Group Benefits, we’ve rid the state of those pesky state hospitals that provided health care for people who wouldn’t vote for me on a bet, and we’ve brought the university and college presidents to their knees.”

Teepell (calculating to himself how long he can milk this cash cow): “That’s all true, Bobby, but you know you’re going to have to broaden your horizons by addressing national issues.”

Jindal: “Well, I guess I could attack Obamacare, Common Core, immigration, and radical Islam.”

Teepell: “Now you’re talking.”

• Now, we fast forward to 2015 as Jindal and Teepell discuss the proposed budget.

Jindal: “Timmy, what the hell happened?”

Teepell (making out deposit slips from both Jindal and Scott Angelle): “I dunno, Bobby. I really thought you’d show up in the polls in Iowa, New Hampshire and South Carolina by now but you’re still flat-lining in all three states.”

Jindal: “I know, right? I didn’t want to peak too early but I’d sure like to see some spike in the polls. But damn! I thought bringing the preachers to the Maravich Center would show the folks in Louisiana how sincere I am about my religious convictions. So, what’re we gonna do about the Louisiana primary next year? I can’t afford to tank in Louisiana.”

Teepell (speaking into his cellphone): “Could you hold on a sec, Scott?” To Jindal: “Bobby, I just don’t know what happened. You should be making a dent in the polls by now. But you’ve got to get your numbers up in Louisiana before you can be taken seriously on the national stage.”

Jindal: “But the primary is already on the schedule. This isn’t good.”

Teepell (speaking into his cellphone): “Let me call you back, Scott.” To Jindal: “Bobby, what does it cost to hold a presidential primary?”

Jindal: “How should I know? I’m never in the state. A couple of million, I guess.”

Teepell: “Well, there you go. Just call Kristy at the concert and tell her to leave funding for the primary out of the budget. No money, no primary.”

Jindal: “Timmy, you’re a genius! That’s why I pay you $30,000 a month.”