I found her in the middle of Range Avenue, aka LA. 16, the busy north-south thoroughfare that runs by my house in Denham Springs. She was a tiny black and tan puppy, probably no more than eight to 10 weeks old and her most prominent feature were those enormous ears.
At first we thought she might be a miniature pinscher but her ears were not trimmed nor had her tail been snipped as is common for the breed. Neither were her legs nearly long enough for a min-pin.
After considerable research, we finally determined she was a chiweenie, one of those so-called designer, or hybrid breeds—a cross between a Chihuahua and a Dachshund. She had the body of a Chihuahua and the ears of a Dachshund except instead of being floppy, they stood erect, large enough for a gust of wind to cast her airborne or so it seemed.
PENNY AT TWO YEARS, WITH FAVORITE TOY (CLICK ON IMAGE TO ENLARGE)
When I married Betty more than 46 years ago, I told her I would always have a dog—and I have. But Penny, as we soon named her, became our very first indoor dog. As a puppy, she would leap repeatedly, attempting vainly to jump onto our sofa and the day she finally made it was a breakthrough for her as she was no longer content with lying on the floor.
That was 15 years ago and she was eventually diagnosed with a heart murmur and our veterinarian, Dr. Michael Whitlock started her on a regimen of heart medicine and diuretics to help keep fluid from building up in her lungs.
With advancing age and with her weakened condition, she eventually became unable to jump onto the sofa so I would lift her up and she would wrestle with a blanket until she could burrow under it to keep warm. She hated thunderstorms. Trembling, she would seek refuge from the storms under that blanket.
We used to laugh at my uncle Pete for the manner in which he would walk around holding his beloved Pomeranians but soon my daughters were laughing at me as I walked around the house with Penny cradled on her back, perfectly relaxed, in the crook of my arm. And I long ago lost count of the times I would take my afternoon nap on the sofa with her curled up asleep on my stomach, usually under that blanket.
Her healthiest weight was around 12 pounds but the combination of the heart murmur and the medication pulled her weight down to about half that. Dr. Whitlock wanted her weight around five of six pounds to keep the fluids down, so that was okay.
When those fluids would build up, she would develop a cough that wracked her tiny body, so he prescribed even more medication that created a new problem: dehydration. For that, he occasionally had to inject fluids, which seems contrary to her best interests. But as Dr. Whitlock explained time and again, we were walking a fine line between too much fluid and dehydration—plus whatever damage the necessary drugs might be doing to her kidneys and liver.
Dr. Whitlock, it must be said, was—and is—one of the most compassionate, caring veterinarians I could have ever found for Penny. He would even call me at home to check on her and it was his dedication to her care and wellbeing that prolonged her life for at least a year—maybe two or three—beyond what she normally might have lived. There were times when I was certain the end was near but he would give her a steroid shot that would pick her up for weeks or months at a time. I will forever be grateful to him and his staff for giving us that extra time together.
Up until about last Thursday, she remained in good spirits and had a healthy appetite. But on Friday, she had begun to slip into a more lethargic state and by Sunday she seemed almost catatonic and unusually weak. When I took her outside to take care of her business, I could see after a few minutes that she was too weak to even walk back into the house, so I gently picked her up and carried to her bed in my office. She refused to eat all day and simply sat up, staring into space as if she was afraid to lie down.
Around 1:30 p.m. I picked her up to take her to the sofa for our customary nap. As I held her—on her back in the crook of my arm as usual—she let out three quick yelps. Then her weakened little body, reduced to about four, maybe five pounds and simply too feeble to continue the fight, jerked twice and she was gone. Apparently, she’d had a heart attack.
I laid her on her bed and stroked her head as she continued twitching for a few minutes even though I knew she was dead. And yes, I cried. We grow attached to these trusting little companions that depend on us for their care and though I have almost always had special connections to my dogs, I had grown to love her as no pet before. And as someone once said, their love is unconditional: they don’t care about social status, race or gender. Treated with kindness, they return the loyalty and devotion tenfold. We could all learn from that.
Daughter Leah, upon learning of Penny’s death, sent me this poem:
Nine-year-old granddaughter Baylee has already added to her Christmas list a request for a puppy “that looks like Penny because Grandma and Granddaddy are sad.” But there’s no way I would ever try to replace Penny. I couldn’t. Besides, I have a 17-year-old Chihuahua, Tia, which I inherited from daughter Jennifer and an outside dog, Blaze, a gift from granddaughter Lauren. Blaze is a chow-golden retriever mix and one of the friendliest dogs ever. He’s about two now. I’m 71 and if he lives a normal lifespan he could—and well might—outlive me, so I won’t be bringing any more dogs into my home.
The pain of losing Penny is just too great.
Louisiana Voice 
Our sympathies to you and your family.
Tom,
I have the same kind of dog as Penny. I know I will feel the same way when his time is over. I am sending my deepest sympathy to you. I know this is terribly difficult.
So sorry to hear of your loss, Tom. You’re right, our dogs are not just our pets, they’re family. I believe with all my heart that they will be waiting to greet us, healthy, happy & tail wagging when our time comes!!
I sympathize with you and feel your pain. This past Monday, sometime during the night, we lost our 12 year old lab Desdemona (named after an old Jimmy Buffett song) at our vet’s office to acute pancreatitis. We had visited with her early that day for which we’re grateful. We found her in our boatshed on the coast on Christmas Day 12 years ago. She was always by my side, seeing me through several major illnesses and surgeries. My wife and I miss her as we lost our other dog, a 17 year old rat terrier named Lucky, about 6 months ago. Like Penny she simply completed her life. Like you, both of ours were rescued dogs, and they are the most loving friends you can have. My heart goes out to you as I’m still mourning the loss of another family member.
Touching and well-spoken.
As I write this to you tears are streaming out of control. I feel for you more than you can know. We lost our 14 year old fur baby in late August & the sadness felt then & and which we continue to feel lingers beyond measure. D*O*G was like Penny…loved unconditionally, no boundaries, trembled when it stormed, nested in the chair for continuous naps…memories that will never go away. It is a sad day for you but Penny knew love & she knew you were there for her until the very end. I truly know there is a doogie heaven & you’ll see her again. Thoughts & prayers to you & your family. RIP Penny
My condolences, Tom! And thanks for your efforts to enlighten us regarding politics in Louisiana! I’ve been teaching about it for nearly 30 years, but still learn something new every time you publish.
Our companion animals are gifts from God and true innocents. You enabled Penny to have the best life she could and she was surely grateful. Sorry you lost her. I once heard something I wish I hadn’t – that we begin to grieve over the loss of our pets when we first get them because we know their lives are usually shorter than ours.
I am so sorry for your loss, as I read this story I cried with you, these little guys seem to hold a place in our hearts that nothing else can.
So sorry for your loss Tom! Thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Sorry for your loss. I have one too. Her name is Sophie—She’s my first indoor pet—Don’t know what I would do without her. Dr. Dan Rawls, Superintendent Webster Parish School Board
Thomas,
Thank you so much for sharing. I had a similar situation with our boxer/lab mix outside pet. She had cancer throughout her body and I had to bring her to vet to put her to sleep. She was 16 years old and died in my arms looking into her eyes. I cried too.
Tom – my heart goes out to you and your family. Bless you for saving that baby pup so many years ago. You were blessed in return with many years of unconditional love from Penny. Hoping your remaining pets will give you comfort. “The earth is full of His creatures. He made them all.” Psalm 104.24
Sweet Penny will be greatly missed. I’m so thankful she wasn’t alone and she knew you were by her side until the very end. Sending you hugs, Daddy.
I am so very sorry for the loss of your beloved pet and family member. I too have always had pets and it’s so sad to lose their love and affection. But we are better off for having them in our lives.
It is hard to watch a long time pet gradually give up. We have a cat who dearly loved a Boston Terrier that was a cherished pet. Betty the BT is gone but it is as though she left Pepper, the cat, a “to do” list because the cat has taken up many of the care for humans activities that Betty handled during her life.
Please accept my most sincere and deep condolences upon the loss of your dear Penny. She has gone home and lives forever in light and love in your heart.
So very sorry, Tom! Words are totally lame, but I hate to see anyone lose an irreplaceable part of their lives.
Sorry for your loss, Tom.
You have my sympathy, Tom.
Sorry for your loss, Tom. I always refer to dogs as the last real Christians. Peace, Darrell
Sent from my iPad
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Thomas
My sympathies. Our’s is Birdie (one under par), aka “the bird”. She turned 15 this past June. Treasuring her while we still have her as we always have.
Tom,I offer my and my husband’s heartfelt condolences to you and your family. We have lost animals (dogs and cats) and it is very tragic and heartbreaking thing. There is one thing that we as humans need to learn especially from dogs and that is, to love unconditionally. We have not achieved that yet. Take care. Bob and Rita Adams
Great post, Tom. Like you, we found “Fellar” trying to make a home out of an old barrel next to a 3-acre pond we used to own on a 13-acre tract with our old home. That was January of 1982. He was a Sheppard and Lab mix, and the Lab part caused him to swim across that pond in 9 degree weather the day after we adopted him. My father passed away two years later (when I was 21), but mom and I deferred building a new home on a REALLY small lot in Baton Rouge until after Fellar passed on in February of 1994. He drank anti freeze which my neighbor carelessly left laying around (it also claimed the life of his Spuds McKensey dog). Like with you, the vet did all he could, but it was just his time. After a week or so to grieve, mom and I bought the lot in Walden and began construction on our new home. I had friends tell me I was crazy in deferring our own living arrangements and let the pet have free rein on a 13-acre place where he could swim anytime he wanted, but like so many others have posted, he was family. Take great comfort and pride, Tom, that you took her in and gave her a great home, and she couldn’t have been more fortunate than for you to be the one who saw her on Range Avenue.
If a man is fortunate he will have a few good things in his life: a good woman, a good home, and a good dog. Just thank God you were blessed with a Little Buddy. I understand very well and you have my heartfelt condolences.
We’re sorry for your loss. We know what you’re going through, having lost our old Pit Bull in July. I just made 70, so I hope I outlive the two-year-olds we have now. But if I do, I’ll start taking in old dogs. You might consider that.
Thanks for a well-written tribute.
I lost my 14 year old rescue pooch in January. We had battled her heart failure together for over a year and a half. I still miss her every day. I once read a child’s explanation as to why our furry friends don’t live as long as we do. “People have to live a long time so they can learn to be good. Dogs already are good so they don’t need to live as long.” Seemed true enough to share. Blessings to you.
I like that explanation. 🙂
Tom, my heart aches for you! Know that Penny is now young and happy again “across the rainbow bridge” (look up that poem if you haven’t already seen it). You gave her a wonderful life, and she gave you unconditional love and many memories in return.
While she can never be replaced, do consider fostering or adopting an adult dog in need of a home. They will never replace your beloved Penny, but you will make all the difference in the world for that one homeless pup!!
I am so sorry for your loss; I know how painful it is, too. They are such blessings to us inferior humans, such beautiful gifts of love. And for some strange reason, they seem to find us a blessing, too. It is a wonderful thing to be loved by a dog. Thank you for giving Penny a home where she could love and be loved.
Very sorry, Tom. Like many, I’ve been there with a few of my dogs, and it hurts like hell. Thank you for the wonderful work you do on this blog.
So very sorry for your loss, our furry babies are just as much a part of the family as the human ones.
I’m sorry for your loss Tom and I know what it means to lose your “fur-baby” as I lost mine 2 years ago. I hope this song below helps you feel a little bit better.
Lovely remembrance. Condolences on the loss of your beloved Penny.
Sorry for your loss, Tom, such a sweet tribute to your dear friend, Penny,
Tom, I am so sorry to hear that Penny passed. I know how special she was to you. She captured the hearts of myself and my staff as well. She will be missed.
Hopefully you can find comfort knowing she appreciated all the years of love and care you provided. It takes a special kind of person to take on the task of extended care for a sick pet, and you met that task head on without complaint. I know Penny appreciated that.
I appreciate you posting kind words about me and my staff. To do so in your time of mourning says a lot about you.
Please let us know if there is anything we can do to help in any way.
Michael Whitlock DVM
Tom,
I have attached a poem that friends gave to me when my dog died. It brought me comfort and peace. I keep it on my desktop and read it periodically when I get to missing him. I know a lot of people just don’t understand how much happiness these little friends bring to us. I pray this little poem brings you the same comfort it brought to me.
Chris
I can tell she was an important part of your family. I know that my beloved pets have still been present in my life in some ways even after their passing. I hope that your fond memories of her will comfort you and your family.
Tom, sorry for your loss. I understand your pain.
Jenifer Schaye
I am so sorry.
Dear Tom,
My husband and I were so sad to hear about the loss of your pet Penny.
Your writing about Penny and your pain and grief gave a heartfelt glimpse into your personal life. Tom Aswell, the respected, investigative reporter whom readers from all over the country read, his political articles which are hard to find these days.
Most public reporters like to keep their feelings to themselves and their emotions heavily guarded. I expected nothing less from you but good old honest pain of the loss of a loved one, and compassion for the suffering.
Thanks to your family and your pets like Penny, you are able and willing to show us all of you and I couldn’t respect you more. My prayers are with you always and especially now for your loss and prayers to your family,
I am very sorry for your loss, Butch. Very sorry.
Kay
So sorry to read about your sweet Penny. We lost our precious 12 year old Schnauzer, Molly, this year to the same thing. It was heart breaking. I am glad we were able to spend the last few minutes with them so they did not die alone. I know they are waiting for us at the rainbow bridge. If you haven’t read the Rainbow Bridge poem, you should look it up. Very comforting. 🙂 Sending peace and comfort your way. Tricia From Bossier.
The Son of Man came not to be served but to serve. -Mark 10:45
Tom,
You have my sincere sympathy for loss. Only those of us who have been through a similar situation with a pet can even begin to imagine how you must feel.
Thank you for sharing your heartbreaking story with us.
C.B.
Butch,
I’m sorry to hear of Penny’s death.
Your tribute to her and dogs in general was so kind.
John
Tom my heart goes out to you and your family. Out of all of your writings I have read not one of them tells more about the man behind the type writer then this one. As much pleasure and comfort your lil pup gave you, you gave your pup a better life then he could ever have had.
All the best to you and yours Tom
You are a great person!
Oh, Tom, I’m so deeply sorry. I’m crying so hard I could barely see to type this. I know what you’re going through, as I (and my family members) have lost 3 pets in the past 3 years whose deaths were totally devastating to us. Two of these pets actually belonged to my sister and the other to one of my very dear cousins who is a double amputee and who is like my own child, but I helped with their care along with other family members. They WERE family members too, not just “pets”. Our hearts were ripped to the core, and even though the last one I’m talking about died 1 1/2 years ago, the grief is as fresh today as if it were yesterday. My sister lost her husband at the age of 57, and they never had any children. Their 2 dogs were their children, then the oldest died before my brother-in-law passed away, and after his death, I moved in with my sister for several years to help her and the little dog through their grief. The little dog was getting older and started to be plagued with health issues. When he died, losing that dog was almost as bad as losing my brother-in-law because he was our baby. The one that belonged to my cousin was his constant companion, and even though he works full time (and I don’t know how because not only is he a double amputee, but he also lost all voluntary bowel and bladder control and has a myriad of health issues due to the accident which get worse with age, and he he lives in constant pain), he can never socialize or really have any kind of life because it’s all he can do to work every day that he is able to get out of bed, and as soon as his day is finished, he goes straight back to bed most days. Then, his wife of 27 years left him 5 years ago, so this sweet pet really was a lifeline for him and his younger son who is still living at home, and their grief was and still is intolerable. I swore I’d never become attached to another animal, but the older son of my cousin brought home a tiny blue pit bull puppy for his son 2 yrs. ago, and since they live right next to me, I was hopelessly in love with this sweet pup from the day they brought him home. Like with all the rest, I help to care for him, as well. Any time is a bad time for losing a dear pet, but this is the worst possible time. People who don’t love animals would never understand, but I certainly do, and my heart bleeds for you! Please take care and know that my deepest sympathies are with you.
Kathy Lamonica
Hi Butch – condolences on the loss of your sweetie. I lost my green wing macaw (my baby for fifteen years) last June to an unexplained illness. I still think of him every day and wonder if I will ever get over losing him. So, I can’t say that it gets better with time, but I can say I sure understand how much it hurts.
Also I wanted to make sure you may have seen this article as this is a subject I think is as near and dear to you as it is to me: http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/louisiana-s-moon-shot-to-rescue-its-coast/
Take care and thanks for posting the poem.
Faith, hope and love, love always ron and susan
Tom,
I’ve read your blog for a long time and I must say I really do enjoy it. This post in particular caught my eye, as my wife and I experienced a somewhat similar incident just this month. Our refuge from politics are our pets. Mostly just wanted to let you know I enjoy your writing and am sorry for your loss! Also liked the stanley nelson post and couldn’t agree more re: required reading. Luke
Luke J. Letlow
Campaign Manager
Ralph Abraham for Congress
Archibald, LA 71218
My condolences. We had to have our dog-child put down in July after nearly 16 years of joyous life–both hers and ours. We *will* get another, however, despite our own advanced age. I believe the best thing a person can do in their lifetime is to love and make a dog’s life a happy one. It’s my goal and my mission.