Louisiana Voice

(Editor’s note: at least one person failed to detect the parody in a recent posting about the Delhi Charter School, so leaving nothing to chance, we’re letting everyone know up front that the headline is tongue-in-cheek as are a couple of comments in the body of this story.)

Not only was Gov. Piyush Jindal not among the top six finalists in the recent Mitt Romney Vice Presidential Sweepstakes, it now turns out that Louisiana’s absentee governor is not even among the top 15 in what he does best: eliminating state jobs.

That may explain in part why Romney, who once said he likes to fire people, did not include Jindal on his short list of five potential running mates whom he called last week to let them know he had decided on Rep. Paul Ryan of Wisconsin. Jindal was so far down that list that he didn’t even warrant a courtesy call.

Even though the Governor in-Abstentia has eliminated more than 6,000 state jobs during the months between June 2011 and June 2012, that wasn’t good enough to put him in the top 15 for placing workers in the unemployment lines who have mortgages, tuition costs, and other living expenses, according to a report just released by the National Governors’ Association and the National Association of State Budget Officers (NASBO).

Apparently, the 6,400 positions cut in this year’s budget were not factored into the equation. If they had been, that almost certainly would have vaulted Piyush to within a heartbeat of the presidency. State job losses, after all, appear to translate to economic gains in the eyes or our globetrotting governor.

“States go to great lengths to avoid layoffs,” NASBO Executive Director Scott Pattinson said, exposing the naked truth that he has not been to Louisiana since 2008.

For that matter, the Disappearing Governor hasn’t been in the state much since then himself.

Pattinson also pointed out that laying off employees is not always the best fiscal strategy. “Firing state government workers often does not result in money saved in the short term. Once required benefits and severance (unemployment payments) are included, states may not see savings for at least a full fiscal year.”

The study attributed the widespread layoffs of state government employees to a stalled recovery from the recession and “shifting political pressure.” That shifting political pressure alluded to may be traced back to the American Legislative Exchange Council (ALEC), which is very up front in its advocacy of massive state employee layoffs and equally impressive tax breaks for corporate friends of all politicians of a Republican stripe.

To that end, Jindal, the Incredible Vanishing Governor, invisible to the naked eye, has been most compliant. While many corporate tax breaks and incentives were already in place well before he assumed office in January of 2008, he has nevertheless encouraged the continuance and expansion of those breaks—to the state treasury’s financial detriment of approximately $5 billion per year.

But have no fear, Ghost-Governor Piyush the Magnificent, upon his return—if he ever does return—is almost certain to pick up where he left off. With the announced closure of prisons and state hospitals, teacher layoffs in virtually every parish because of his ill-conceived voucher scheme, and deep cuts to the LSU medical school’s programs, he is sure to begin cutting into the lead of the states ahead of Louisiana in the layoff game.

If Piyush truly is a disciple of “trickle-down economics” (and Rush Limbaugh did refer to him as the next Ronald Reagan), then we can anticipate additional layoffs at the local level—by parish and municipal governments—as the excrement begins to flow downhill.

In case you may be curious, in no particular order other than alphabetical, here are the top 15 states in layoffs:
• Alabama
• California
• Connecticut
• Florida
• Maryland
• Massachusetts
• Michigan
• Missouri
• Nebraska
• Nevada
• New Mexico
• Ohio
• Oregon
• South Dakota
• Washington

It should be pointed out that there was no significant edge for one political party over another in the layoff Race to the Top (where have we seen that before?): The party representation is as equal as possible, given there is an odd number of ranking states. Eight of the top 15 states have Republican governors and seven of the governors are Democrats.

And lest political observers worry about the state’s rankings, not to worry.

We’re pretty sure that Louisiana easily ranks No. 1 in the number of days in which the Phantom of Governor’s Office has been out of state.

That’s gotta count for something.