Louisiana Voice

“62 million Americans voting for a president who tells people to drink bleach might be the best argument I have ever heard to fund public education more.”

—Tweet by David Hogg. [I don’t know who he is, either, but it’s hard to argue with his observation.]

“The Wacky Do-Nothing Attorney General of Michigan, Dana Nessel, is viciously threatening Ford Motor Company for the fact that I inspected a Ventilator plant without a mask. Not their fault, & I did put on a mask. No wonder many auto companies left Michigan, until I came along!”

—Trump tweet, May 21, 2020.

“Do nothing A.G. of the Great State of Michigan should not be taking her anger and stupidity out on Ford Motor — they might get upset with you and leave the state, like so many other companies have — until I came along and brought business back to Michigan.”

—Follow up tweet by Trump, May 21, 2020. [Never too busy to take a little time to personally respond to every individual who dares disagree with him. Amazing that he has time to tend to his job. Also, Trump is implying that he has brought jobs to Michigan when in fact, manufacturing jobs over the past three years have increased in Michigan by less than 2%—half the national average; the state lost 5300 jobs last year, and there has been a net loss of three automotive manufacturing plants since the end of 2016.]

“[M]ore manufacturing jobs have been created in Michigan than just about every state.”

—Eric Trump, on the night of the Michigan primary earlier this year. [Wow, these Trump guys couldn’t tell the truth if their lives depended on it. But I guess if you can lie to bankers and the IRS, then lying to a gullible bunch of MAGA fanatics is a piece of cake.]

Polls.

Get ready. We’re going to be inundated with presidential preference polls from now to election day in November.

Some will be straight-up, with questions on the economy, Russia, North Korea, jobs, healthcare, etc. Others will be the push-polls, conducted by both parties with questions carefully worded so as to elicit a certain response from the unsuspecting potential voter.

The results will swing back and forth between the two candidates. Republican push-polls obviously will show a trend favoring reelection of Donald Trump. Democratic push polls will reveal results favoring Joe Biden.

The straightforward, down-the-middle polls will also show variances as election day approaches with results governed by the latest developments in the coronavirus, international diplomacy, unemployment figures, crime, and other factors.

All of which means little in the overall scheme of things. The bottom line is what will happen after either Biden or Trump takes the oath of office.

So, here’s who I want for president:

• I want a president I can look at not as a Democrat or Republican, with no regard to race, religious affiliation, straight or gay, male or female, tall or short, but as someone I can respect as a person and a leader.
• I want a president who will look at the White House as the people’s house, a residence/office for which he will have a unique responsibility to safeguard and protect for the next four years. It is not his campaign headquarters, not an operations center from which he can plot revenge against political opponents, nor a base from which he may gain personal profit and enhanced power.
• I want a president who will look upon the White House staff, his military aides, and personal assistants as servants of the country and not his personal chattels. I would like a president who would look upon these staff members, aides and personal assistants as human beings with families, mortgages, hopes and dreams and that he would treat them with same respect and consideration that he would a family member. After all, they are his family for the next four years.
• I want a president who will give long and careful consideration when appointing agency heads, cabinet members and ambassadorships. Agency heads should be appointed from within the ranks, not political cronies who come to the jobs knowing nothing about them. Cabinet members should be chosen on the basis of background and ambassadors should be selected on the basis of diplomatic experience—not from Wall Street or from a list of big donors.
• I want a president who would call in his agency heads and cabinet members and say to them something along these lines: “One hint, one indication, that you take advantage of your office, that you do anything that violates my ethical code, whether it violates the letter of the law or not, and you’re out, no questions asked. I will not—shall not—tolerate any abuse of your position. Period. If you violate the law, I shall not defend you nor will I stand in the way of your prosecution. I don’t want you to embarrass me but most of all, you’d better not embarrass America.”
• I would like to have a president who can at least drive a car or cook his own breakfast.
• I want a president who places more emphasis on and attention to accomplishments that provide meaningful tax relief that would benefit small business and individual American taxpayers as opposed to awarding breaks to giant corporations and industry CEOs.
• I want a president who is willing…no, eager, to work with our allies and negotiate with our adversaries. Our allies must know that we wish to work with them on all matters. Our adversaries must know, in the words of John Kennedy, “…[W}hether it wishes us well or ill, that we shall pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe to assure the survival and the success of liberty”—and mean it.
• I want a president who is genuinely humble, but confident. By that, I mean I want a president who doesn’t go into a press conference as if it’s some kind of contest to see who can emerge the victor. I would like to see a president revert to the Harry Truman approach of taking walks with the press, fielding questions—and answering them [as opposed to dancing all around the queries]. I know security issues prevent that from occurring, but it would be a refreshing change from the adversarial press conferences we’ve become accustomed to. By humble, I mean a president who actually puts the country ahead of his personal interests. The office, after all, is not a prize, it’s a charge to do the right thing in every decision he makes and every action he takes.
• I want a president who would hang out a “CLOSED FOR BUSINESS” sign for lobbyists, big banks, big oil, big pharma, and others whose interests conflict with those of the American people.
• Finally, it would be nice to see a president who would, rather take the time to actually visit some working American’s kitchen, to drink coffee, tea or beer with them, than play golf. To see—and appreciate—how they live every day of their lives. To go over their credit card and bank statements with them to see and really, really understand and not just pay lip service to, the struggles of the average working American. I would like to see these as one-on-one visits, and not some circus of a photo-op set up by hordes of advance personnel. In fact, it would be far more meaningful if the media were barred from these events. A president could make one such visit a month and touch down in almost every state in a single four-year term.

Yeah, I know that’s a pipe dream, a fantasy that could never be. But wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could find such a president?

And isn’t it a little sad that we know it can never be?

“I can’t argue with him, that kid is such a success. He is such a wit, he is such a genius. He would have made a fortune if he wasn’t under his father’s thumb. Game over. You can’t argue with a genius like that.

“The way this kid has risen in the business world and just taken it by storm. I would list all of Junior’s accomplishments right now, but I only have a three-hour show.  

“He went on a safari and posed for a photo holding an elephant’s tail. You can’t argue with that kind of bravery. Even the guys in Afghanistan right now are going, ‘Jesus Christ, what a kid.’”

—Radio personality Howard Stern, on Donnie Trump, Jr.

“I do think it would be extremely patriotic of Donald to say, ‘I’m in over my head, and I don’t want to be president anymore.’ It’d be so patriotic that I’d hug him, and then I’d go back to Mar-a-Lago and have a meal with him and feel good about him because it would be such an easy thing to do.

“As far as Donald’s concerned, Donald thinks he’s the best president there ever was. I can honestly tell you that Donald doesn’t give one s**t about public service.

“It’s not your incredible reality TV show that you’re putting on for the country. It’s because we’re in crisis and we’re tuning in to see what the president has to say. We’re looking for leadership,”

—Howard Stern, on Donald Trump. [It’s important to note that Stern was once a close friend to Trump.]

“We’re going after Virginia, with your crazy governor, we’re going after Virginia. They want to take your Second Amendment. You know that, right? You’ll have nobody guarding your potatoes.”

—Donald Trump, to a group of farmers assembled at the White House on May 19. [Crazy governor? Uh,….well, never mind.]

“I grew up on a Virginia farm, Mr. President—our potatoes are fine. And as the only medical doctor among our nation’s governors, I suggest you stop taking hydroxychloroquine.”

—Virginia Gov. Ralph Northam, in one of the less-derisive responses to Trump’s curious remarks, May 19.

“Are there armed people guarding potatoes in my state?”

—Tweet by Rania Khalek, May 19.

“GOP 2020: We will end the brutal Virginia potato wars.”

—Tweet by Adam Rifkin, May 19.

“If there is anything Virginia is known for in the 21st century, it’s our brutal potato wars.”

—Tweet by Gary Legum, May 19.

“Trump’s silly comments about armed Virginians guarding their potato fields is yet another sign that the administration’s communications team is spuddering.”

—Follow-up tweet by Gary Legum, May 19. [It’s hard to pass up an opportunity for a good pun.]

“My god, libs, you were just going to leave Virginia’s potato farms unguarded?!?”

—Worried tweet by David Roberts, May 19.

YOU CAN HAVE MY POTATO WHEN YOU PRY MY COLD, DEAD FINGERS FROM AROUND IT.