Louisiana Voice

On the one hand, you have to admit that Gov. Landry’s decision to prohibit recipients of Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP) benefits from using those benefits to purchase soft drinks, energy drinks or candy is a good thing, right up there with the prohibition of buying liquor and tobacco products.

On the other hand, you have to scratch your head and wonder why it took a bona fide nut case like Robert Kennedy, Jr. to convince Landry to take the long overdue action.

“Gone are the days of taxpayers subsidizing unhealthy lifestyles and eating habits,” Landry announced somewhat self-righteously, adding that Louisiana is now officially participating in Kennedy’s Make America Health Again (MAHA) movement.

The state’s Surgeon General (read: political payoff recipient) Dr. Ralph Abraham added that the change in state policy governing SNAP benefits is “phenomenal” and that “Good nutrition is a critical piece of living a healthy life.”

Seriously? It took someone like brain-worm-infected Robert Kennedy to convince these two clowns that Cokes and Snickers don’t constitute the best eating habits?

To me, it just seems the MAGHATS are just sitting back and waiting for the next catchphrase to be handed them by the shallow-thinking “leaders” in the Beltway who don’t seem to be able to think beyond the next snappy slogan to fire up their base.

As evidence of this, I offer as evidence:

• “Witch-hunt”
• “Hoax”
• “Lock her up”
• “Woke”
• “Trade wars”
• “Alternative facts”
• “Bigly”
• “Antifa”
• “China virus”
• *“America first”
• “Deep state”
• “Fake news”
• “Enemy of the people”
• “Loser”
• “Owning the libs”
• “Alt-right”

Originality, it seems, is not their strong suit.

*(first offered as a slogan by the KKK in 1927)

Wanna job at Mar-A-Largo?

Those of us with halfway decent memories will remember that it was our very own Billy Tauzin who negotiated this law on his way out the door of the House and on to his next job: President and CEO of the Pharmaceutical Research and Manufacturers of America.

Just good guvmint at work, folks!

Several years back, actually, about 40-something years back, I was on the floor of the Louisiana House and came to observe something that I found to be a tad peculiar. I noticed that on every single vote to come to the floor, State Rep. Shady Wall (was that not a perfect name for a Louisiana legislator/) of West Monroe was voting “yes.”

Now, Shady was something of a maverick and it just wasn’t like him to be so consistent in his floor votes. Curious, I made my way up to a point where I had a close view of his desk. He was nowhere in sight. But on his desk was a stack of documents and I noticed a yellow pencil wedged between the stack and the “yes” button, holding it down so that he was recorded as voting on every bill.

Trouble was, Shady had pulled an Elvis and left the building, headed back to West Monroe.

I scampered downstairs to my office and retrieved my camera and telephoto lens and ran back to my position and zoomed in on his desk. The photo that I took that day ran four columns wide on his hometown newspaper, The Ouachita Citizen. I don’t know for sure if the picture influenced his decision or not, but Shady didn’t run for reelection.

I tell this story to illustrate how U.S. Sens. John N. Kennedy and Bill Cassidy must undoubtedly have pencils holding their yes-buttons down to record affirmative votes on every one of Donald Trump’s nominees, no matter their background or record.

Bear in mind, Kennedy likes to think of himself as a constitutional lawyer, meaning that he must be, by definition, a champion of the rule of law. So, why then, would he ever consider a thumbs-up vote to affirm someone like Emil Bove III to a lifetime seat on a federal bench? Bove is a guy who represented Trump and actually said (no kidding) that a president could ignore a federal judge’s order.

How’s that square up with rule of law, Mr. Kennedy? The vote to confirm Bove was a razor-thin 50-49. Your vote might have been the one that put him over the top. Proud of yourself?

And how is it that whistleblower documents, filed with the U.S. Justice Department was last May somehow got overlooked? The answer to that, of course, is that it’s no longer the U.S. Justice Department, it’s the Trump Justice Department. It would be interesting to hear Kennedy and Cassidy explain how they’ve been so willing to look the other way on that and so many other ethical questions that have arisen in the six months Trumps reassumed the reins. The Bove confirmation is just the latest.

From my point of view as an observer, the answer is pretty obvious: Louisiana’s two U.S. senators have whored out their own values, principles and very souls to be trafficked to the highest bidder, in this case, the TACO Pimp.

The Tangipahoa Parish Sheriff’s Office is reportedly readying half-a-dozen SWAT teams in preparation for several anticipated simultaneous raids worldwide after warnings of potential tsunamis were issued in the wake of an 8.8 magnitude earthquake in eastern Russia.

A news release by the sheriff’s office said officials in Chile, Colombia, Japan, the U.S. and FOX NEWS, among others who terrorized citizens with alerts and advisories to evacuate low-lying coastal areas for a TSUNAMI that NEVER MATERIALIZED.

“We feel that we must be consistent in protecting the citizens of Tangipahoa Parish from terrorist threats,” a department press release said. “Even though we’re not near the Pacific coast in our parish, we do have Lake Maurepas and it’s conceivable that some of the residents along that lake could have been thrown into an unnecessary panic over the tsunami warnings.”

A sheriff’s department spokesman said the latest move for mass arrests is consistent with the recent arrest of ARDEN WELLS of Ponchatoula in connection with erroneous reports about an escape at the Tangipahoa Parish jail.

The spokesman, who spoke on condition of anonymity said that Wells, 70, published a false report on social media on June 24 that an inmate had escaped the jail. As there had been an actual escape the month prior mattered little to the department. “The inaccurate information created undue concern among the public and resulted in several inquiries about the validity of the information,” the department’s July 25 news release said.

“Following a thorough investigation, a warrant was issued for his arrest.

“Just as the law does not allow someone to falsely yell ‘fire’ in the middle of a theater to create panic, or to publish a fake threat against a school to cancel classes out of fear, a person cannot falsely publicize a concerning event like an inmate escape to scare people and we will not tolerate when they do,” said Sheriff Gerald Sticker.

Terrorizing is defined by Louisiana R.S. Code 14:40.1 as “the intentional communication of information that the commission of a crime of violence is imminent or in progress or that a circumstance dangerous to human life exists or is about to exist, with the intent of causing members of the general public to be in sustained fear for their safety; or causing evacuation of a building, a public structure, or a facility of transportation; or causing other serious disruption to the general public.”

Wells was booked into the Tangipahoa Parish Jail and then transferred to another facility out of an abundance of caution for safety and security.

“Consistent with our decision to go after Wells for his irresponsible actions, the Tangipahoa Parish Sheriff’s Office will aggressively pursue the equally reckless individuals who issued the gratuitous tsunami warnings without once stopping to consider the fact that people could’ve been injured in the mad crush to evacuate a danger that in the end, did not exist. We will strive to bring those responsible for this travesty to justice no matter where our efforts take us,” the spokesperson vowed.

(Personally, I’ve always wanted to go into a fire station and yell, “Theater!!” I wonder if that would get me arrested?)