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Okay, okay, I know I’m supposed to be retired (and there are those who undoubtedly wish I’d stay that way), but as Publisher Emeritus, a title I’ve magnanimously bestowed upon myself, I reserve the right to climb out from under my rock and offer up a periodic masterpiece of literary brilliance (or nonsensical cerebral compost, depending upon one’s point of view – I leave it to the individual reader to determine the appropriate description).

I write the following after being appropriately inspired by:

  • A network news story about self-described whistleblower David Grusch’s eyebrow-raising testimony before the House Oversight Committee. Grusch claimed – under oath, no less – to have seen with his own eyes physical evidence of UFOs and extra-terrestrials (all deceased, of course);
  • A hilarious essay by Washington Post columnist Dana Milbank;
  • And last, but certainly not least, a suggestion by one of my dearest friends who warned me upon threat of bodily harm, to “Leave my crummy arse out of this looming train wreck!”

Among the claims offered up by Grusch that Republican members of the committee seemed all to eager to believe were:

  • The US is in possession of alien bodies (deceased, of course, which I suppose is redundant);
  • Benito Mussolini was in on the secret but apparently never told anyone (imagine that!)
  • The Vatican is part of the coverup conspiracy;
  • A private contractor is storing (concealing might would be a better term) one of the football-field-sized alien crafts;
  • The federal guvmint has apparently killed people in order to keep a lid on the story;
  • Milbank, in his column, pointed out somewhat skeptically that Grusch had no documents, photos or other evidence to back any of his assertions – because it’s classified.

And it’s that last part that has direct ties to Mar-A-Lago and Donald Trump, which takes this entire story to a higher dimension and goes a long way in exonerating Trump for squirreling away all those docs that the Justice Department – and the Democrat World – have their drawers in a wad over.

In one of the most exclusively exclusive stories ever uncovered by LouisianaVoice, our confidential sources have (actually, that would be singular source and the third-person singular participle has since there’s actually only one source) revealed that at the very time that the 2020 election was so unceremoniously stolen from him, Donald Trump was in ultra-sensitive, top-secret negotiations with Zbyrck Obgrz, supreme Commander of the Joint Intergalactic Command Force to purge Earth of war, hunger, racial discord, poverty, pollution, crime, general ignorance and the heartbreak of psoriasis while simultaneously providing financial assistance in helping Trump to set up a series of interplanetary combination way-stations/hotel/casinos designed to dwarf the upstart Buc-ee’s that are popping up along interstate highways in Texas and Louisiana.

Now if that seems a bit much to digest, consider the destructive implications had news of these talks leaked and had given Putin or Kim Jong Un or Xi Jinping an opportunity to crash the talks with their own incentives. (That, of course, explains Trump’s seeming to cozy up to Putin, Kim and Xi: he was conducting his own intelligence in order to keep abreast of what they knew of the ongoing talks with Obgrz.) Starting to make sense now, right?

But then, in the wake of the 2020 debacle, the leak was inevitable and straightaway, special interests with their own agenda attempted to tank the negotiations. Obviously, we’re talking about Georgia Secretary of State Brad Raffensperger, Fulton County (Georgia) District Attorney Fani Willis, New York Attorney General Letitia James and Special Counsel Jack Smith, who have joined forces to undermine the stability and benevolence developed and nurtured by Trump.

And while Grusch didn’t say as much because of threats against his life, it’s pretty obvious that the four individuals named in the previous paragraph are part of a separate intergalactic cabal bent on eliminating Trump and Trumpism while installing an illegitimate and discordant dictatorship under the banner of the Democratic Party.

All of which brings us to Mar-A-Lago and those documents. Obviously, the US Justice Department is correct in insisting that they consist of top-secret information. But what they don’t say – and what Grusch could never say – is that much of that classified data is directly related to Trump’s highly-secret negotiations with Obgrz and the Biden administration desperately wants – must – get its hands on those documents at all costs! They wanted Tom Cruise to retrieve them but he was busy filming Mission: Impossible – Dead Reckoning – Part One.

But thankfully, the one thing Biden and his Justice Department haven’t been able to decrypt is the method by which Obgrz and his emissaries have been able to utilize teleportation to furtively enter and depart Mar-A-Lago in a continuation of critical talks. The FBI continues to be frustrated in its inability to determine when the actual teleporting and ensuing conferences occur, thus explaining its failure to sabotage negotiations as they transpire.

Also fortunately, Trump’s enormously high IQ (bolstered by Obgrz’s injections of 400 ccs of Jqvpol solution (which is infinitely more effective than Prevagen), he metamorphosized the ability and mental acuity to memorize all the relative information contained in the documents and to cerebrally redact critical passages, forcing both informed Democrats and Republicans who remain ignorant of the critical importance of the negotiations to employ all means necessary to prevent his return to the White House.

There. That’s the explanation in a nutshell. But if you desire more confirmation, go here for Bob Newhart’s intriguing interview on a related subject:

Well now, it seems the good Christians hereabouts have forgotten the teachings of Christ who advocated charity, kindness and understanding – and most of all, love.

You see, a few of these good Christians physically set upon an actual minister of the faith last Friday at Riverside Baptist Church in Denham Springs. The event was some sort of rally called by Livingston Parish Repugnantcan Rep. Valerie Hodges, now a candidate for the Louisiana Senate to fill the seat being vacated by the term-limited incumbent Rogers Pope.

Valerie Hodges, I would remind you, is the same one who, a few years ago – as in the Jindal administration – pushed through a bill to provide financial aid to religious-based schools and then raised holy hell when an Islamic school in New Orleans applied for funding. Apparently she forgot that religious is religious, regardless of the affiliation label that may be attached.

Oh, and she’s also the one who railed against illegal immigration and then when she and her husband purchased flooded rental homes in Denham Springs, employed – guess who? – to perform renovation work. No need to guess, you know damn well who.

Anyway, Hodges called this big rally of “all Louisiana pastors with sound Biblical conviction” to gin up support for what she obviously hoped would be a massive show of support for a veto override session for three gender-related bills that passed the recent session but which Gov. John Bel Edwards has promised to veto. You can see the bills in the attached flier that Hodges sent out to invite those pastors with “sound Biblical conviction.”

Now, I’m not certain if the “Biblical conviction” alluded to by Hodges included Second Samuel 1: 26, the Bible verse which noted that Jonathan’s love for King David was “deeper than the love of women,” or First Samuel 18: 1 where it says Jonathan “stripped himself of the robe that was on him and gave it to David,” or in Ruth 1: 16-17 where Ruth tells Naomi, “Where you go, I will go, and where you stay, I will stay. Your people will be my people…” Or if it’s the same Biblical conviction in which God instructs the Israelites to attack an enemy and “Their children also shall be dashed to pieces before their eyes; their houses shall be spoiled, and their wives ravished” and that “they shall have no pity on the fruit of the womb; their eyes shall not spare children.” And in Numbers 31: 31-40, along with His instructions to disembowel pregnant women (could that be considered a form of abortion?) He tells the Israelites to take livestock and virgins for themselves. According to the Bible, the Israelites responded by destroying the Midanites, but capturing 337,000 sheep, 36,000 cattle, 30,500 donkeys and (ahem) 16,000 virgins. Of course, they tithed, giving God 675 sheep, 72 cattle, 61 donkeys, and 32 virgins (just what God did with all that booty remains unclear). If you’re good a math (or even mediocre), you can readily see that those tithes come nowhere near the 10 percent we’re told to give today.

But I digress.

What transpired was anything but Biblical in the sense of the “Biblical” teachings we hear in Sunday School (as opposed to the above-cited passages). An Episcopal minister who has asked that his name not be revealed, did the unpardonable – he spoke of Christian love and acceptance.

His message wasn’t accepted too well. Nor was it loved. Some in the crowd, which also included State Rep. Kathy Edmonston (R-Gonzales), physically attacked the good reverend with at least one person actually grabbing him around the neck. (Not saying Edmonston was one of the attackers, just that she was in attendance.

The Livingston Parish Sheriff’s Office had to be called in to restore order, it was reported to LouisianaVoice.

Just another of the Christian influence of the political religious right.

Remember that story Dayne Sherman and I did about how Attorney General Jeff Landry was so gung-ho over those CHILD IDENTIFICATION KITS that he wanted to tap into the National Association of Attorneys General tobacco settlement fund to underwrite distribution of the kits nationwide?

In case you don’t remember they’re the same kits that folks like Texas governors and former governors George W. Bush, Rick Perry, Greg Abbott, Texas US Sen. Ted Cruz, Texas Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick and Texas Attorney Gen. Ken Paxton. They’re also the same ones that, thanks to Landry’s involvement, that have been distributed in Louisiana by the Louisiana Sheriffs’ Association, Ochsner Health, Our Lady of Lake Health and American Electric Power.

Well, according to PROPUBLICA, which broke the original story on the kits’ ineffectiveness in locating missing children, the State of Texas has pulled funding for the project. It’s ironic in that Texas is where the program appeared to have its strongest support via the aforementioned political heavyweights in that state.

And of course, you already know that Jeff Landry is the state’s self-proclaimed Captain America Champion of Anti-Fraud in Louisiana.

Not so much in Texas, though.

And now he wants to be governor.

As much as I hate to say I told you so….

https://apnews.com/article/police-misconduct-brutality-racial-injustice-louisiana-ronald-greene-eed8724b8e51a397f26aea43ed56cff6

I told you so.

A couple of State Senate votes Louisiana citizens should find interesting:

SB 7, aka the first step toward book censorship, a favorite ploy of a fascist government: https://www.legis.la.gov/legis/ViewDocument.aspx?d=1322126

SB 149, to increase the minimum wage, which has not been increased since 2008, while CEO pay has increased 1,460% since 1978 and while the CEO-to-worker pay ratio reached a new high of 399-to-1 in 2021 (372-to-1 before the pandemic), compared to the 20-to-1 ratio in 1965:

https://www.legis.la.gov/legis/ViewDocument.aspx?d=1327320

You get the government you deserve.