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“A lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.”

—Louisiana Federation of Teachers legislative director Mary Patricia Wray, quoting one of her high school teachers in her testimony Thursday before two legislative committees, in describing the lack of planning and accountability on the part of the Piyush Jindal administration’s proposal to contract with Blue Cross/Blue Shield for the administration of the Office of Group Benefits’ Preferred Provider Organization.

“A policy must not be to identify an emergency which government has either created or failed to prevent and then find a public servant to blame and punish while we promote so-called reform.”

—Mary Patricia Wray, during that same testimony.

“Policy makers keep finding more and more creative ways and more and more sorry excuses to support corporate tax avoidance over public good, privatizing over restoraton and feel-good initiatives over real solutions for our very, very valuable public insititutions.”

—Mary Patricia Wray, on a roll as she ripped into the Piyush administration during her testimony.

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Lyndon Johnson once said he had no use for any politician who, 30 seconds after entering a crowded room, could not tell who was for him and who was against him.

He would have little use for Gov. Piyush Jindal, the governor’s hand-picked committee chairmen or his chief budget officer, Commissioner of Administration Kristy Nichols.

It took them four hours Thursday to determine there were not enough “fer-votes” to push through an administration-proposed contract that would have Blue Cross/Blue Shield of Louisiana serving as the third party administrator (TPA) of the Office of Group Benefits (OGB) Preferred Provider Organization (PPO).

The upshot was a four-hour hearing that instead of ending with celebratory fireworks for the administration, ended first with considerable confusion over Mason’s Rules of Order, and then a whimper as Nichols pulled the bill from the flames just before it was reduced to a pile of metaphorical ashes.

At the end of the day, State Rep. Katrina Jackson (D-Monroe) had Nichols, House Appropriations Committee Chairman Jim Fannin (D-Jonesboro) and Senate President John Alario (R-Westwego) circling the wagons in a desperate attempt to avoid further embarrassment.

But Jackson had lots of help. Several members of the two committees, primarily from the House Appropriations Committee, peppered Nichols with a barrage of questions with several legislators indicated that they had heard from hundreds of constituents and no one supported turning over the administration of the PPO to BCBS.

One of those, Rep. Rogers Pope (R-Denham Springs), a former Livingston Parish School Superintendent was critical of what he termed a lack of communication between the administration and education officials about the proposed changes.

But it was Mary Patricia Wray, legislative director for the Louisiana Federation of Teachers, who delivered the most withering criticism of the proposed contract, coupling it with a blistering attack of the Jindal administration’s onslaught against public schools.

“Some say the school districts will save money,” she said. “Some have mentioned savings of $35 million but one important fact has been overlooked. Many who tout these savings to school districts are the very parties who have crafted policies that have starved our public schools of the funding they so desperately need.”

Noting that while public school systems have received no increase in their per-pupil funding (Minimum Foundation Program funding) for more than four years, she said, “millions of dollars of funds constitutionally dedicated to our K through 12 public schools are going to leave this year to go to non-public schools of inferior quality.

“Moreover, this legislature approved a policy that provides un-capped tax rebates for donations to non-public schools while simultaneously our governor vetoed a bill that would have provided reasonably-capped rebates for donation to our inadequately-funded public schools.

“These priorities created the same emergency that their supporters now frantically want you to believe will be partially undone with your vote today—if you vote yes.

“So while the policies of the same administration that now asks you to support this contract have been consistently, habitually, and unapologetically to place funding public education at the very bottom of the priority, it seems a bit odd that they would take this moment to become proponents for the adequate funding of K through 12 education in our state.”

Wray called the proposed contract “fixing something that is not broken” and that it was “high on the administration’s list—and not because they suddenly care about adequately funding public schools they denigrate or supporting the institutions in which the teachers they humiliate are educating the next generation of Louisiana citizens.”

She said the policies of the Jindal administration “have starved government at every level. The lack of planning on their part should not and must not constitute an emergency for the people you serve. This contract may seem inconsequential but to the people served by OGB and to the people who elected you, it about doing the right thing, setting the right standards. Our public servants are more valuable than the rhetoric of the moment. They are more important than the flip-flop policy making that constantly puts them and their benefits in the crosshairs of our state’s budget crisis.”

But the real fun occurred over the last few minutes of the four-hour session.

It all started when Alario, after apparently realizing the numbers were there for concurrence by both the House Appropriations and Senate Finance committees, said, “We all know that change is difficult,” a rather odd observation given the Jindal administration has never considered the difficulties involved in change when he had the votes on such matters as education.

“I think we probably need to give a little more thought and a little more time on this issue,” he continued. “I’m going to suggest that we defer action on this matter today.”

Fannin immediately made an identical motion on behalf of the Appropriations Committee.

Before they could vote on Alario’s motion, however, Jackson offered a substitute motion to vote on the contract immediately. That motion passed the Appropriations Committee by a vote of 16-9. Voting for her substitute motion were Reps. Cameron Henry (R-Metairie), James Armes (D-Leesville), Jared Brossett (D-New Orleans), Henry Burns (R-Haughton), Roy Burrell (D-Shreveport), Brett Geymann (R-Lake Charles), Joe Harrison (R-Gray), Jackson, Edward James (D-Baton Rouge), Walt Leger (D-New Orleans), Helena Moreno (D-New Orleans), James Morris (R-Oil City), Pope, John Schroder (R-Covington), Patricia Smith (D-Baton Rouge) and Ledricka Thierry (D-Opelousas).

Voting no on Jackson’s substitute motion were Reps. Fannin, John Berthelot (R-Gonzales), Robert Billiot (D-Westwego), Chris Broadwater (R-Hammond), Simone Champagne (R-Erath), Charles Chaney (R-Rayville), Lance Harris (R-Alexandria), Bob Hensgens (R-Abbeville) and Anthony Ligi (R-Metairie).

In the voting along party lines, seven Republicans were evenly split on Jackson’s motion with seven for and seven against. Two Democrats voted no and nine voted yes.

Reps. Patrick Connick (R-Marrero), Franklin Foil (R-Baton Rouge) and Jack Montoucet (D-Crowley) were absent.

After that vote, presiding chairman Sen. Jack Donahue (R-Mandeville) attempted to call a Senate Finance Committee vote on Jackson’s substitute motion before being informed that someone from Finance had to make a similar motion. When no one did, Jackson’s motion died.

When he finally realized that the next vote needed to be on Alario’s motion to defer action, he announced the motion and asked if there were any objections and Sen. Dan Claitor (R-Baton Rouge) voiced his objection, forcing a roll call vote.

Claitor was able to inject some gallows humor into situation. When he voiced his dissent, he referred to himself as a “former Senate Finance Committee member” in reference to two other legislators—Reps. Harold Richie and Morris—who were demoted from their vice chairmanships of the House Committee on Insurance and House Natural Resources and Environment Committee, respectively.

They opposed Jindal and were summarily demoted. Richie opposed tax rebates for those who donate money to private and parochial schools while Morris fought Jindal over the governor’s decision to use one-time money to fund recurring expenses in the state’s General Budget.

The Senate members then voted 11-3 in favor of Alario’s motion to defer action. Those in favor of deferral included Donahue, Norby Chabert (R-Houma), Bret Allain (R-Franklin), Ronnie Johns (R-Lake Charles), Gerald Long (R-Natchitoches), Fred Mills (R-New Iberia), Dan “Blade” Morrish (R-Jennings), Greg Tarver (D-Shreveport), Francis Thompson (D-Delhi), Mike Walsworth (R-West Monroe) and Bodi White (R-Baton Rouge).

Voting against Alario’s motion to defer were Sens. Sherri Smith Buffington (R-Keithville), Claitor, and Ed Murray (D-New Orleans).

Sen. Eric LaFleur (D-Ville Platte) was absent.

Before a vote could then be taken on Fannin’s motion to defer consideration of the contract for one week, Jackson threw another curve at the proceedings by making a second substitute motion—this one to reject the contract outright.

That brought things to a screeching halt as it appeared no one knew what to do: a vote would be suicidal to proponents of the contract since the House committee seemed almost certain to go along with Jackson.

Morrish, after several minutes of total confusion, was finally recognized and asked, “What happens if the House votes to reject? If the substitute motion passes, where will the contract stand?”

“The contract is rejected,” responded Donahue.

“Even without a Senate vote?”

“With no Senate vote,” Donahue repeated. “If either body votes to reject, the contract is rejected.”

As more confusion reigned and amid the chatter that was reminiscent of a crowded room scene from a movie (only without the rattle of ice and the clinking of drink glasses), the barely audible word “adjournment” was suggested by someone on one of the committees at least twice.

Finally, after a full five minutes of idle chatter, Donahue explained that because it was a joint meeting of two individual committees and not a meeting of the Joint Committee on the Budget, “the rules are different.”

The only thing that needed to be done, however, was to call a vote on Jackson’s motion to reject the contract which, of course, would be a disaster for the administration.

Donahue, obviously in a quandary, began stalling. At that point, the two committees had been in session for four hours and five minutes.

At precisely 4:09:40, Nichols quietly slid back into a seat at the witness table in front of the committees looking defeated. Again, the word “adjourn” rose above the din from someone on one of the committees.

But right on cue, at 4:10:32, Donahue called on Kristy. “Commissioner, do you have anything you want to bring to the agenda at this time?”

It was almost as if his line was scripted.

“Mr. Chairman, I’d like to ask that the committee allow me to remove the contract from the agenda at this time,” she replied.

“I don’t think you need permission. You don’t need permission. You can just pull it from…”

“We’d like to come back at a later date,” she interrupted abruptly. “We’d like to pull it.”

It took another ten seconds for some to make the formal and more audible motion to adjourn.

In the words of the delightful Yogi Berra: It ain’t over ’til it’s over.

And in the immortal words of Walt Kelly in his wonderful Pogo comic strip: To be drug out.

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Whenever I see a story about some stupid criminal I find myself wishing I could be alone in a room with the poor sap just so I could ask him three questions:

• What was your thought process?

• Did you think this through to its logical conclusion?

• Did you ever, at any point in time, think this would end well for you?

That’s all. Just those three questions.

Until now, I had always limited this wish to stupid criminals:

• Like the guy who pulls up at the drive-through window of a bank and slips a note in it saying “This is a holdup.” The teller, pulls the drawer in, reads the note, flips it over and writes on the back, “I don’t see a gun,” and sends note back to the guy who obligingly puts his gun in the drawer and sends it in to the teller;

• Like the guy who writes his holdup note on any piece of paper with his name and address on it or who is wearing a work uniform with his name tag fully visible;

• Like the guy who tries to outrun police on the interstate;

• Like any idiot who tries to resist a half-dozen police officers;

You get the picture.

But now I have expanded my sentiments to wishing I could pose the same question to some of our bumbling state politicians—particularly our self-promoting, egocentric, ambitious, absentee governor who insists—with a straight face, no less—that he has the job he wants even as he ignores a multitude of problems at home while auditioning for any job that will promote his shameless career goals.

But there are others:

• Any legislator (like Noble Ellington or Jane Smith) who runs for office on the promise of looking out for the folks back home but then accepts a six-figure salary in some department for which he or she has zero qualifications. What were you thinking?

• Any agency head (like Louisiana Workforce Commission Executive Director Curt Eysink) who sends out an email saying there will be no merit raises for employees because of budgetary constraints while almost simultaneously approving a 41 percent increase for a single employee. What were you thinking?

• Any agency head (like Department of Health and Hospitals Secretary Bruce Greenstein) who would attempt to withhold the name of the winner of a $300 million contract with DHH from a legislative committee charged with confirming his appointment as secretary. What were you thinking?

• Any agency head (like Department of Natural Resources Secretary Scott Angelle) who would resign in the middle of a major crisis involving a potentially toxic sinkhole in order to selfishly run for a public office that he thinks will set him up for a run for governor in 2015? What were you thinking?

• Any agency head (like Alcohol and Tobacco Control Office Commissioner Troy Hebert) who would send a uniformed agent to inspect bars where she had recently worked undercover and purchased drugs from dealers. What were you thinking?

• Any agency head (like Superintendent of Education John White) who, on the night before he was to testify before a legislative committee about the New Living Word school in Ruston, sent emails to the governor’s office that he would try to “take some air out of the room” and to “muddy up” the narrative over the his approval of 315 vouchers for the school that had no classrooms, no desks and no teachers. What were you thinking?

• Any agency head (like White) who, within a matter of a few weeks, would hire a $144,000 part-time public relations officer from Florida and a consultant from Los Angeles to serve as a shill for the Department of Education’s (DOE) computer Course Content at a salary of $146,000—both of whom are allowed to commute and/or work from their homes. What were you thinking?

• Any agency head who, while giving no merit increases for three years and while even laying off rank and file employees, continues to give healthy salary increases to employees already earning in excess of $100,000 per year. What were you thinking?

• Any legislator who sees nothing wrong with private Christian schools receiving vouchers but who goes ballistic when it is learned that an Islamic school applied for vouchers under the same program. What were you thinking?

• Any governor who, while busy traveling all over the country promoting his aspirations for a cabinet position should Mitt Romney be elected president, approves closures of and budgetary cutbacks for state hospitals where cutbacks and closures result in the loss of treatment availability for indigent citizens. What were you thinking?

• Any governor who, while spewing outright lies in his many out-of-state visits about how he has the most ethical, most transparent and accountable administration in the country, continues to hide his office behind a veil of secrecy, refusing to provide public records or to grant media interviews. What were you thinking?

• Any inaccessible, unreachable, unavailable, unaccountable governor who, in an attempt to further shroud public agencies from having to answer directly to Louisiana citizens, attempts to force disputes with state agencies to be handled via telephone hearings instead of face-to-face hearings. What were you thinking?

• Any legislator who allows this governor and these bureaucrats to snub their collective noses at the citizens of this state with their arrogant actions and their attitude of defiance and mockery.

• Any citizen of Louisiana who would rather watch Dancing with the Stars than hold these sorry excuses for public servants accountable.

What the hell are any of you thinking?

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Editor’s note: The information contained in this story was received via printouts from the Louisiana Department of Civil Service of those earning $100,000 or more for the years 2009 through 2012. Each year was listed separately. Accordingly, when the name of Patti Gonzalez of the Office of Risk Management did not appear until the 2012 printout, the indication was she had received a pay increase. This was not the case and there was no explanation as to why she did not appear in prior years but Ms. Gonzalez says she has not received an increase since March of 2010.

Likewise, no state elected officials received pay increases as their salaries are set in statute. Civil Service printouts did indicate pay increases for all but two statewide elected officials but this apparently was in error.

Rank and file state civil service employees have gone without pay increases, merit or otherwise, since 2009 but at least 104 managers, directors, supervisors and five statewide elected officials already making in excess of $100,000 a year have received increases over the past three years.

Not included in the tabulation were doctors, nurses, pharmacists, higher education professors or, with one exception, those who were promoted from one job to another and got raises.

Altogether, more than 3,200 state employees earning more than $100,000 per year accounted for an annual payroll of approximately $432 million—an average of about $135,000 each.

The average pay of a state civil service employee is approximately $39,600.

In most cases—but not all—the pay increases were 4 percent increases. A 4 percent increase for one making $100,000 would be $4,000. That would fund four such increases for workers earning only $25,000 a year.

There were those, however, who did better. Much better.

Michael Diresto went from $103,792 in 2011 to $118,792 this year, a $15,000 (14.5 percent) bump. He was listed by the Department of Civil Service as a “director” in the Division of Administration (DOA) for both years. On the DOA web page, he is identified as an assistant commissioner for policy and communications.

Bruce Unangst, executive director of the Real Estate Commission, also saw his annual salary balloon from $109,000 in 2011 to $125,000 this year, a 14.7 percent increase.

In the governor’s office itself, Executive Counsel Elizabeth Murrill did extremely well for herself. Her 2011 salary of $110,000 grew to $165,000 this year—before her transfer to DOA where presumably, it will remain the same. Her one-year pay hike was a whopping 50 percent, according to Civil Service records.

In the Department of Insurance, 14 employees earning $100,000 or more received 4 percent increases from 2011 to 2012 while four others, including an attorney supervisor, did not. Insurance Commissioner James Donelon this year also hired former state legislator Noble Ellington, who had no experience in insurance, as deputy commissioner at a salary of $149,900.

Five of 14 employees of the Port of New Orleans Port Commission who earn $100,000 or more were awarded pay raises ranging from 5.5 percent to 7.5 percent.

At the Department of Health and Hospitals (DHH), several employees received pay increases from 2011 to 2012 despite the pay freeze. They included Executive Director Robert Marier, who went from $196,102 to $205,899 (5 percent); Associate Director Cecilia Mouton, from $185,640 to $194m916 (5.1 percent); Executive Director John Liggio, from $119,044 to $125,068 (5 percent), and Executive Director Lisa Schilling, from $107,702 to $134,638 (25 percent).

None of the four changed job classifications, according to the Civil Service report. One who did change classifications got a 14.8 percent increase, a lower percentage than Schilling. Courtney Phillips was promoted from a Medicaid Program Manager 4 at $102,814 per year to Chief of Staff at $118,019.

One other executive director, six DHH attorneys, a deputy director, a deputy secretary, a budget administrator, an economist and a program director received no salary increases from 2011 to 2012.

Debra Schum, listed as an executive officer in the Department of Education (DOE), got a 20 percent pay raise, from $110,000 in 2011 to $132,000 this year while Kerry Lester, also an executive officer with DOE, got a $5,000 increase, from $150,000 to $155,000 during the same time frame.

But what is particularly interesting about the DOE payroll is the seemingly inordinate number of new hires of people at six-figure salaries, especially in the Recovery School District.

State Superintendent of Education John White has brought in no fewer than 10 new employees at salaries in excess of $100,000 this year alone—and that’s not even counting Deirdre Finn, a part time contract employee who will be paid $144,000 a year to work as communications manager for the department—from her home in Florida.

The idea of hiring a commuting employee, apparently borrowed from DHH and Carol Steckel, who is being paid $148,500 a year as a “confidential assistant” to DHH Secretary Bruce Greenstein to commute back and forth from her home in Alabama, seems to be catching on.

David “Lefty” Lefkowith is being paid $146,000 to commute back and forth from Los Angeles to work at DOE as a “director,” according to Civil Service records. He describes himself in a DOE video, however, as a “deputy superintendent.”

Other new, six-figure employees added by DOE this year include:

• Gary Jones, Executive Officer, $145,000;

• Melissa Stilley, Liaison Officer, $135,000;

• Michael Rounds, Deputy Superintendent, $170,000;

• Hannah Dietsch, Assistant Superintendent, $130,000;

• Francis Touchet, Liaison Officer, $130,000;

• Stephen Osborn, Assistant Superintendent, $125,000;

• Sandy Michelet, Executive Director, $120,000;

• Kenneth Bradford, Director, $110,000;

• Heather Cope, Executive Director of the Board of Elementary and Secondary Education, $125,000.

For the Recovery School District (RSD), both the high turnover and six-figure salaries are significant. That’s because there is substantial turnover despite the high salaries and that turnover has stymied any progress the already troubled RSD might have realized.

No fewer than 20 employees earning six figures have left the RSD since 2009, records show.

For the three years from 2010 to 2012, there was a turnover rate among those earning $100,000 or more ranging from 29 to 44 percent from the previous year Civil Service records indicate.

Of 24 RSD employees earning six figures for the current year, 15, or 62.5 percent, are new hires, records show. These include:

• Stacy Green, School Nurse, $145,000;

• James D. Ford, Administrative Superintendent, $145,000;

• Dana Peterson, Administrative Superintendent, $125,000;

• Adam Hawf, Administrator, $120,000;

• Mark Comanducci, Executive Director, $115,000;

• Helen Molpus, Administrative Chief, Officers, $115,000;

• Kizzy Payton, Administrative, Business Office, $110,000;

• Hua Liang, Administrative Chief, Officers, $110,000;

• Nicole Diamantes, Administrative, Other Special Programs, $105,000;

• Isaac Pollack, Administrative, Principal, $105,000;

• Desmond Moore, Administrative, Principal, $105,000;

• Betty Robertson, Other Business Services, $105,000;

• Robert Webb, Administrator, Other Special Programs, $105,000;

• Sametta Brown, Administrator, Regular Programs, $100,800;

• Ericka Jones, Administrative, Principal, $100,000;

• Eric Richard, Administrative, Principal, $100,000.

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Gov. Piyush Jindal had barely recovered from the bitter disappointment of being snubbed for a spot on Mitt Romney’s ticket than he was off and running for yet another national office—that of president.

His preference these days seems to be anything to avoid addressing the real problems that face Louisiana.

For a man who insists that he has the job he wants, he certainly seems to devote a minimal amount of time doing it.

Jindal’s travel miles this year alone have surpassed those of the James Brown extended post mortem farewell tour of a few years back.

Piyush is on the road again more than Willie Nelson.

His campaign appearances rival in number those of President Barrack Obama and Mitt Romney combined—and he’s not even an official candidate for anything. Yet.

He has the job he wants, which apparently is making more public appearances than the Harlem Globetrotters.

He’s more difficult to locate than Sasquatch.

When it comes to answering reporters’ questions, Jindal makes the late Marcel Marceau seem like a chatterbox.

So now, with the sound and fury of the vice presidential selection process behind him, he goes and gets himself picked to head up the Republican Governors Association next year—a job that will no doubt necessitate his absence from the state even more, if that’s possible.

The position is a plum in that it theoretically gives him a leg up on the Republican president nomination in 2020 (or 2016, should Romney lose in November).

He will chair the organization in 2013 and will be followed by New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie the following year. The post is considered a springboard to higher office. Romney and Texas Gov. Rick Perry each served as chairman prior to launching their presidential campaigns.

The Associated Press speculated that the position could help Piyush gain momentum and support for a future White House bid, “if he’s interested.”

If he’s interested?

That’s like saying a hyena will attack a wildebeest if he’s hungry.

The same AP story notes that in five-plus years as Louisiana’s absentee governor, he has promoted his book, given campaign speeches, attended fundraisers and Republican events in 39 states and the nation’s capital. He has managed to pop up in key presidential primary or caucus states like New Hampshire and Iowa on numerous occasions—sometimes even being asked by the locals to leave. Quickly.

More than a third of his 160 or so out-of-state trips have taken place since January.

Ironically, most of his travels have been to support state candidates or Republican causes and to collect campaign contributions for Piyush Jindal.

His campaign trips on behalf of Romney, on the other hand, are merely an afterthought.

Rather like his occasional attention to matters in Louisiana—little insignificant matters like budget shortfalls, cuts to state hospitals, litigation over his education and retirement reform packages in Louisiana and growing resentment on the part of legislators over the closures of prison and health care facilities.

So basically, he believes he received a mandate in last year’s underwhelming re-election vote of 67 percent of 20 percent of the voters—against only token opposition, no less.

Piyush may want to consider the fact that 80 percent of the voters yawned their way to a state of languid indifference on the question of whether or not he should be awarded a second term.

And he’s going to try and parlay those results into becoming leader of the free world?

But he must first prove himself a leader of the nation’s Republican governors.

If his leadership of Louisiana is an indication of his capabilities, it should be fun to watch—if you like watching a delusional political wannabe.

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