The Tangipahoa Parish Sheriff’s Office is reportedly readying half-a-dozen SWAT teams in preparation for several anticipated simultaneous raids worldwide after warnings of potential tsunamis were issued in the wake of an 8.8 magnitude earthquake in eastern Russia.
A news release by the sheriff’s office said officials in Chile, Colombia, Japan, the U.S. and FOX NEWS, among others who terrorized citizens with alerts and advisories to evacuate low-lying coastal areas for a TSUNAMI that NEVER MATERIALIZED.
“We feel that we must be consistent in protecting the citizens of Tangipahoa Parish from terrorist threats,” a department press release said. “Even though we’re not near the Pacific coast in our parish, we do have Lake Maurepas and it’s conceivable that some of the residents along that lake could have been thrown into an unnecessary panic over the tsunami warnings.”
A sheriff’s department spokesman said the latest move for mass arrests is consistent with the recent arrest of ARDEN WELLS of Ponchatoula in connection with erroneous reports about an escape at the Tangipahoa Parish jail.
The spokesman, who spoke on condition of anonymity said that Wells, 70, published a false report on social media on June 24 that an inmate had escaped the jail. As there had been an actual escape the month prior mattered little to the department. “The inaccurate information created undue concern among the public and resulted in several inquiries about the validity of the information,” the department’s July 25 news release said.
“Following a thorough investigation, a warrant was issued for his arrest.
“Just as the law does not allow someone to falsely yell ‘fire’ in the middle of a theater to create panic, or to publish a fake threat against a school to cancel classes out of fear, a person cannot falsely publicize a concerning event like an inmate escape to scare people and we will not tolerate when they do,” said Sheriff Gerald Sticker.
Terrorizing is defined by Louisiana R.S. Code 14:40.1 as “the intentional communication of information that the commission of a crime of violence is imminent or in progress or that a circumstance dangerous to human life exists or is about to exist, with the intent of causing members of the general public to be in sustained fear for their safety; or causing evacuation of a building, a public structure, or a facility of transportation; or causing other serious disruption to the general public.”
Wells was booked into the Tangipahoa Parish Jail and then transferred to another facility out of an abundance of caution for safety and security.
“Consistent with our decision to go after Wells for his irresponsible actions, the Tangipahoa Parish Sheriff’s Office will aggressively pursue the equally reckless individuals who issued the gratuitous tsunami warnings without once stopping to consider the fact that people could’ve been injured in the mad crush to evacuate a danger that in the end, did not exist. We will strive to bring those responsible for this travesty to justice no matter where our efforts take us,” the spokesperson vowed.
(Personally, I’ve always wanted to go into a fire station and yell, “Theater!!” I wonder if that would get me arrested?)
Louisiana Voice 
It’s a little late for April Fools, isn’t it 🙂
Figured a parody was the best way to treat the actual account of the absurd arrest of Wells.
If Mr. Wells was just mistaken about something or passing along a rumor he should have been warned and asked not to do that again, after which everyone went on their way. Arresting Wells over something like that is exactly what corrupt cops do and that wouldn’t surprise me as all cops are corrupt. But if 70 year old Mr. Wells is trying to start some shit with the Tangipahoa Parish Sheriff’s Department then I’d like to know more about Mr. Wells.
After rubbing my ears and checking the calendar to see if it just turned April, I have to shake my head. Let me know how this turns out in court. Mr. Wells will likely have a dandy little false arrest suit to file after his First Amendment rights are reaffirmed post-trial.
r/
Yet why do people feel compelled to cause fear, panic and terror in the lives of others? There’s a lot of meanness in the world today. Just plain mean!