Louisiana Voice

Okay, okay, I know I’m supposed to be retired (and there are those who undoubtedly wish I’d stay that way), but as Publisher Emeritus, a title I’ve magnanimously bestowed upon myself, I reserve the right to climb out from under my rock and offer up a periodic masterpiece of literary brilliance (or nonsensical cerebral compost, depending upon one’s point of view – I leave it to the individual reader to determine the appropriate description).

I write the following after being appropriately inspired by:

• A network news story about self-described whistleblower David Grusch’s eyebrow-raising testimony before the House Oversight Committee. Grusch claimed – under oath, no less – to have seen with his own eyes physical evidence of UFOs and extra-terrestrials (all deceased, of course);
• A hilarious essay by Washington Post columnist Dana Milbank;
• And last, but certainly not least, a suggestion by one of my dearest friends who warned me upon threat of bodily harm, to “Leave my crummy arse out of this looming train wreck!”

Among the claims offered up by Grusch that Republican members of the committee seemed all to eager to believe were:

• The US is in possession of alien bodies (deceased, of course, which I suppose is redundant);
• Benito Mussolini was in on the secret but apparently never told anyone (imagine that!)
• The Vatican is part of the coverup conspiracy;
• A private contractor is storing (concealing might would be a better term) one of the football-field-sized alien crafts;
• The federal guvmint has apparently killed people in order to keep a lid on the story;
• Milbank, in his column, pointed out somewhat skeptically that Grusch had no documents, photos or other evidence to back any of his assertions – because it’s classified.

And it’s that last part that has direct ties to Mar-A-Lago and Donald Trump, which takes this entire story to a higher dimension and goes a long way in exonerating Trump for squirreling away all those docs that the Justice Department – and the Democrat World – have their drawers in a wad over.

In one of the most exclusively exclusive stories ever uncovered by LouisianaVoice, our confidential sources have (actually, that would be singular source and the third-person singular participle has since there’s actually only one source) revealed that at the very time that the 2020 election was so unceremoniously stolen from him, Donald Trump was in ultra-sensitive, top-secret negotiations with Zbyrck Obgrz, supreme Commander of the Joint Intergalactic Command Force to purge Earth of war, hunger, racial discord, poverty, pollution, crime, general ignorance and the heartbreak of psoriasis while simultaneously providing financial assistance in helping Trump to set up a series of interplanetary combination way-stations/hotel/casinos designed to dwarf the upstart Buc-ee’s that are popping up along interstate highways in Texas and Louisiana.

Now if that seems a bit much to digest, consider the destructive implications had news of these talks leaked and had given Putin or Kim Jong Un or Xi Jinping an opportunity to crash the talks with their own incentives. (That, of course, explains Trump’s seeming to cozy up to Putin, Kim and Xi: he was conducting his own intelligence in order to keep abreast of what they knew of the ongoing talks with Obgrz.) Starting to make sense now, right?

But then, in the wake of the 2020 debacle, the leak was inevitable and straightaway, special interests with their own agenda attempted to tank the negotiations. Obviously, we’re talking about Georgia Secretary of State Brad Raffensperger, Fulton County (Georgia) District Attorney Fani Willis, New York Attorney General Letitia James and Special Counsel Jack Smith, who have joined forces to undermine the stability and benevolence developed and nurtured by Trump.

And while Grusch didn’t say as much because of threats against his life, it’s pretty obvious that the four individuals named in the previous paragraph are part of a separate intergalactic cabal bent on eliminating Trump and Trumpism while installing an illegitimate and discordant dictatorship under the banner of the Democratic Party.

All of which brings us to Mar-A-Lago and those documents. Obviously, the US Justice Department is correct in insisting that they consist of top-secret information. But what they don’t say – and what Grusch could never say – is that much of that classified data is directly related to Trump’s highly-secret negotiations with Obgrz and the Biden administration desperately wants – must – get its hands on those documents at all costs! They wanted Tom Cruise to retrieve them but he was busy filming Mission: Impossible – Dead Reckoning – Part One.

But thankfully, the one thing Biden and his Justice Department haven’t been able to decrypt is the method by which Obgrz and his emissaries have been able to utilize teleportation to furtively enter and depart Mar-A-Lago in a continuation of critical talks. The FBI continues to be frustrated in its inability to determine when the actual teleporting and ensuing conferences occur, thus explaining its failure to sabotage negotiations as they transpire.

Also fortunately, Trump’s enormously high IQ (bolstered by Obgrz’s injections of 400 ccs of Jqvpol solution (which is infinitely more effective than Prevagen), he metamorphosized the ability and mental acuity to memorize all the relative information contained in the documents and to cerebrally redact critical passages, forcing both informed Democrats and Republicans who remain ignorant of the critical importance of the negotiations to employ all means necessary to prevent his return to the White House.

There. That’s the explanation in a nutshell. But if you desire more confirmation, go here for Bob Newhart’s intriguing interview on a related subject: