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“We have to protect Thomas Edison. We have to protect all of these people that came up with originally the light bulb and the wheel and all of these things.”

—Donald Trump, interview with CNBC at World Economic Forum in Davos. Jan 22, 2020. (Did “all of these things” include the inventor’s patent for fire?)

“You know, I tweeted today. Don’t worry, I’ll give it up after I’m president. We won’t tweet anymore. Not presidential.”

—Donald Trump, April 25, 2016.

“The Continental Army suffered a bitter winter of Valley Forge, found glory across the waters of the Delaware, and seized victory from Cornwallis of Yorktown. Our army manned the air, it rammed the ramparts, it took over the airports, it did everything it had to do. And at Fort McHenry, under the rockets’ red glare, it had nothing but victory.”

—Donald Trump, in a July 4, 2019 speech, somehow confusing the War for Independence with the War of 1812, with a dash of superior air power. (rammed the ramparts? What does that even mean?)

“I wouldn’t go to war with you people. You’re a bunch of dopes and babies.”

—Donald J. Trump, commander-in-chief, aka Gen. Bone Spurs, speaking in The Tank, a fortified room at the Pentagon, to military leaders, including Sec. of Defense Gen. Jim Mattis, July 20, 2017.

 

“You’re all losers. You don’t know how to win anymore. I want to win. We don’t win any wars anymore.”

—Same Donald J. Trump, same motivational meeting, same date. Bone spurs obviously acting up that day, causing uncharacteristic grumpiness.

“If you can convince the lowest white man he’s better than the best colored man, he won’t notice you’re picking his pocket. Hell, give him somebody to look down on, and he’ll empty his pockets for you.”

—Lyndon B. Johnson, 1960.