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The Department of Health and Hospitals (DHH) has been a state agency abuzz with commotion this week—commotion that more closely resembles Larry, Moe and Curly trying to shovel water with a pitchfork than productive activity.

And it’s all part of the Bobby Jindal School of Good Government.

Martha Manuel has been Teagued and DHH has retreated for the moment from its efforts to put 69 information technology (IT) employees out of work in favor of contracting its services to the University of New Orleans (UNO).

Manuel, 63, was fired from her position as executive director of the Office of Elderly Affairs on Wednesday just one day after testifying against the transfer of her agency to DHH.

What’s more, the firing was done by her supervisor Tammy Woods, Director of Community Programs—by telephone.

If the pattern seems familiar, that’s because it is—beginning back in October of 2009 when Melody Teague, a Social Services grant reviewer, was fired one day after testifying against Jindal’s program to streamline government.

It took her six months but she got her job back but then last April 15, her husband Tommy Teague was fired as executive director of the Office of Group Benefits (OGB) when he didn’t jump on board the Jindal Privatization Bandwagon quickly enough, particularly when it came to the agency he had taken from a multi-million-dollar deficit to a $500 million surplus.

Thus the term Teagued.

Those were just two. Others included a Board of Elementary and Secondary member who didn’t kowtow to Jindal, the director of the Highway Safety Commission who opposed Jindal’s repeal of the state motorcycle helmet law.

Gone.

Jindal, through DHH Center for Health Care Innovation and Technology chief Carol Steckel, tried to fire the 69 IT employees last December in favor of handing off the contract for their work to UNO under the state’s Medicaid program.

The employees were called in for a teleconference at which time they were told they would be unemployed in January. Upon their return to their work stations, the employees found they were locked out of their computers.

But the State Civil Service Board vetoed Steckel’s proposal on Feb. 1. She first cited a savings of $2.1 million, then $7 million, prompting one member to say he had “zero confidence” in her numbers.

Steckel came to Louisiana from Alabama where she served as that state’s Medicaid Commissioner. In was in that capacity that she inferred that Alabama’s indigent amputees did not need artificial limbs. Her budget for 2008 cut programs that pay for prosthetics and orthotics (used to correct deformities) because, she said, the programs were optional, not mandatory.

The Civil Service Commission was scheduled to take the matter up again on Wednesday of this week but DHH withdrew from the agenda on Monday. One source said that UNO decided to opt out of the contract agreement. Another said that questions arose about the use of Medicaid funds for non-Medicaid costs in the contract, a practice that is strictly prohibited.

The fate of the IT employees, meanwhile, remains uncertain. “We have been misinformed on future employment by DHH executives on three occasions,” said one of the workers. “At each meeting we had, we felt as though we were being threatened with furlough without pay.”

If the administration felt it was punishing Manuel, however, it may have miscalculated. She had already retired once and when the directorship of the Office of Elderly Affairs opened a year ago, she applied and was appointed by Jindal. She now simply moves back into retirement, albeit involuntary.

She testified on Tuesday that senior citizens would be better served by leaving the Office of Elderly Affairs where it is.

Jindal’s executive budget calls for transferring the $45.3 million agency and its 51 positions to DHH where Manuel feels her agency will become lost in the DHH bureaucratic shuffle. “At no time was I asked for my input on this transfer,” she testified to the House Appropriations Committee.

Commissioner of Administration Paul Rainwater disagreed, saying that senior citizens would receive more, not fewer services. He said more federal funding can be generated through DHH’s guidance.

Manuel, contacted at home on Wednesday, said DHH plans to funnel Office of Elderly Affairs’ $45.3 million through nursing homes and hospitals in order to qualify DHH for additional federal funding.

“That almost sounds like money-laundering,” she said. “DHH calls this leveraging but there’s no guarantee that the dollars will keep coming back to the local councils on aging,” she said.

“They (the administration) said they have a vision, but when pressed by the committee, they admitted they had no real plan. Well, we (her former agency) have a vision and we have a five-year plan.”

She said she had her cell phone turned off during her testimony but when she turned it on after she spoke to the committee, “it was full of voice mails and each one was angrier than the last.” She said the messages were from Woods and her assistant.

“I took the rest of the afternoon off and they continued to barrage my office with calls, even though they were told I was not in. They apparently didn’t believe it, so they actually came to my office at 6 p.m. to check to see if I was in.”

Manuel said she called in sick the next day because she simply didn’t feel like facing all the hassle. “The general council (of the Office of Community Programs) called me at home today (Wednesday) and Tammy Woods was also on the line. She told me I was not in line with the governor’s thinking and she fired me over the phone.

“This (Woods) is a person who refuses to return telephone calls and who cancels meetings with no advance notice. She once had an appointment with people from New Orleans. They drove all the way into Baton Rouge only to be told the meeting was cancelled.”

Manuel said she has received flowers from several local councils on aging as a result of her dismissal. “I’m gratified at the response of the local councils but I have to say I’m very disappointed in our governor. I really believed there would be transparency in government.”

Jindal said simply that the administration had decided to “go in a different direction.”

Much like Alice’s observation in Lewis Carroll’s Alice in Wonderland, details surfacing about the proposed sale of 600,000 acre-feet (196 billion gallons) of water from the Toledo Bend Reservoir just gets curiouser and curiouser.

In attempting to follow the time line leading up to the issuance of a request for proposals (RFP) by the Sabine River Authority (SRA) and the sudden shelving of the water sale plan to private investors, events appear to be grotesquely out of sequence.

Sufficient questions exist to raise concerns over whether the SRA, at best, may have gotten the proverbial cart ahead of the horse and, at worst, the possibility that backroom deals may have been cut in anticipation of a financial windfall for investors and the SRA alike.

Toledo Bend Partners (TBP) initially approached SRA more than a year ago about purchasing the water for resale to Texas municipalities and at the SRA’s Water Sales Committee meeting on Jan. 19, 2011, SRA Executive Director Jim Pratt informed the committee that he had received a proposal for “an out-of-state water sales agreement from the Toledo Bend Partners, LLC.”

Pratt told the committee that TBP was offering to pay $3 million up front to reserve the water rights using a graduated pay scale over four years until the project was on online to actually take water. He added that TBP’s proposal was seeking to reserve 600,000 acre-feet of water from the reservoir and that the partnership would pay a $50,000 non-refundable application fee to help defray SRA legal costs.

Pratt also informed the committee that he had already spoken with attorney Marjorie McKeithen of the New Orleans law firm of Jones Walker about representing SRA during the sale negotiations with TBP.

TBP is a Delaware-chartered entity comprised of trusts and entities owned by Billy Joe “Red” McCombs of San Antonio, Donald T. “Boysie” Bollinger of Lockport and Aubrey Temple of Coushatta and their respective families. The principals and their families and business interests have combined to contribute more than $75,000 to the political campaign of Gov. Bobby Jindal.

Jones Walker, a firm with hundreds of attorneys in at least 14 offices in eight states and Washington, D.C., is also a big supporter of Jindal. The firm itself had eight contributions totaling $22,000 and Paul Cabon of Washington, D.C., the firm’s Director of Government Relations, and wife Susan had 12 more contributions to the Jindal campaign that totaled $28,300. Various other law firm partners also contributed between $500 and $1,000 each.

The committee voted unanimously to accept the $50,000 from TBP and to enter into a professional services contract “not to exceed $50,000” with Jones Walker “for legal counsel for the out-of-state water sales project.

Eight days later, at the Jan. 27, 2011 meeting of the full SRA Board of Commissioners, the Water Sale Committee’s actions were ratified, again unanimously and without discussion.

The board on Feb. 24, 2011, unanimously approved paying out-of-town travel expenses for commission Chairman Robert Conyer and Water Sale Committee Chairman Larry Kelly to attend negotiations for the out-of-state water sale.

That was six months before a letter from Jindal Chief of Staff Stephen Waguespack informing SRA that the governor’s signature would be required for the sale of water “outside the boundaries of the state of Louisiana.” Waguespack added that any sale would not be considered “unless it is, at a minimum, the product of a competitive RFP.”

Waguespack’s letter was dated Aug. 25, the same date that the SRA board voted unanimously to approve the water sale contract with TBP and to forward the signed contract to Jindal for his signature.

Those two documents apparently crossed in the mail because a month later, on Sept. 22, the SRA board, in a sudden reversal, unanimously authorized Water Sale Committee Chairman Larry Kelly, Pratt and SRA staff to prepare and issue the RFP—a month after first agreeing to and signing a contract to sell the water to TBP.

Several individuals and firms expressed an interest in purchasing the water and each was provided a copy of the RFP by mail except for TBP which had a representative pick up a copy of the RFP at SRA offices.

Despite the expressed interest of other entities, TBP subsequently was the lone bidder on the purchase of the water at a price of 28 cents per thousand gallons or $91.24 per acre-foot. That price is substantially lower than other localities where water sale prices range from $5.20 per thousand gallons ($1,700 per acre-foot) to $8.88 per thousand gallons ($2,903 per acre-foot).

Such a spread in the purchase price by TBP and market prices elsewhere would seem to set TBP principals up for substantial profits as middlemen, leaving unanswered the question of why the SRA could not issue an RFP and negotiate directly with the end users in order to enhance its financial bottom line.

If all this is not confusing enough, there is the business of a $10 million bond issue approved by the SRA in which the time line also appears to be out of sync.

The SRA ran the requisite legal advertisement on its intent to issue $10 million in revenue bonds on Sept. 7, 2011 even though the State Bond Commission had already approved the measure at its June 16 meeting in Baton Rouge—nearly three months before.

The legal advertisement said that the $10 million in revenue bonds to finance the acquisition of “any property or facilities which the Authority is authorized to acquire,” would be secured by the sale of water to industrial customers by the Sabine River Diversion System. The Diversion System sales water to the petrochemical industry in Southwest Louisiana and those sales are separate from the proposed purchase by TBP, according to SRA management consultant Carl Chance.

The patient was doing great at one time. His health, once robust, was now rapidly deteriorating, largely the result of his own excesses and self-indulgent behavior.

So it was that preeminent surgeon Dr. J (not a basketball player by any means) was brought in for consultation. Immediate surgery was ordered and Dr. J’s crack team was summoned for the operation.

The team, the best available anywhere on the planet, was not cheap. It consisted of Dr. Davis, emergency preparedness, $165,000; Dr. Taffaro, director of recovery, $150,000; insurance coordinator Ellington, $150,000; revenue and finance coordinator Smith, $107,500; alcohol and tobacco intake monitor Dr. Hebert, $107,000; tax analyst Katz, $56,000; mobility monitor and de facto management team director Dr. N. Gautreaux (fee unknown) and members Powell and Smiley heading up the pardon committee in the event of any procedural screw-ups, $36,000 each; head nurse Teepell, $167,000 and damage control expert Plotkin, $90,000.

Once the team was assembled, the patient was wheeled into OR and Dr. J’s work was begun.

Dr. J: Give me some light here. We need more transparency.

OR nurse: Here you go, Doctor.

Dr. J.: No! Don’t shine the light on me! Put it on the patient.

Nurse Teepell: Nurse, you’re on report for such a violation of protocol.

Dr. J: We have a real mess here. Look, his lungs have far more air than is necessary to perform their function. That’s wasteful inefficiency.

Nurse Teepell: Yes, I can see that, sir.

Dr. J: We should be able to cut back to a single lung. Same with the kidneys.

Nurse Teepell: I concur.

Dr. J: And just look at that liver. It’s practically hemorrhaging bile. What could be causing that?

Nurse Teepell: It must be a malcontent. Better get rid of it.

Dr. J: Great idea. Let’s contract out the liver function.

OR Nurse: Doctor, a patient can’t survive without a liver.

Dr. J: Who’s performing this surgery? Did you go to medical school?

OR Nurse: No, Doctor, and I’m not sure you did either.

Nurse Teepell: That’s ENOUGH, nurse! Dr. J knows what he’s doing.

Dr. J: And just look at this heart. Four chambers? Why can’t we eliminate three chambers and have the heart do more with less?

OR NURSE: Doctor, I don’t think….

Dr. Davis: SILENCE! This is emergency surgery and I say Dr. J’s strategy has merit.

Dr. J: I’ll just start cutting right here….Whoa! Look at all that blood. It’s going everywhere!

Dr. Taffaro: We have to do something quickly.

Dr. J: I know: berms. Build berms.

Smith: With all due respect, doctor, berms will cost upwards of a quarter-million dollars. A clamp is only $12.

Dr. J: But I thought of berms first, so it’s gotta be berms. I want my berms. Can we get insurance to pay for it, Mr. Ellington?

Ellington: Sure. No problem. That would be FEMA, the Federal Emergency Medical Administration.

OR NURSE: But Doctor, that’s not what FEMA stands for and besides that, the berms are washing away as fast as you build them.

Dr. Gautreaux: Nurse, if you continue to defy change, you will suffer the wrath of my management team.

Dr. J: This patient is in terrible condition but I think we can save him by privatizing all of his internal organs. We can get millions for them and use the money to pay our salaries.

Nurse Teepell: Doctor, you’re a genius.

Dr. J: I know.

Ms. Katz: There should be an advantageous tax loophole for this strategy.

Nurse Teepell: There’s a ready market for lungs, kidneys, livers and brains. The only problem is there’s no one we know who wants a heart.

Dr. J: That could be a problem. We may have to pay someone to take the heart. What should that cost us?

Dr. Hebert: At least $68 million, but it could a risky management decision. If need be, we could up the ante to $74.8 million as an incentive. And whoever takes it probably won’t keep it very long. But we can get Mr. Plotkin to say it’ll save $200 million in the long run.

OR Nurse: Doctor, I’m not getting a reading on the monitor. I think we’ve lost the patient.

The OR is eerily still for several seconds. Finally, voices interrupt the silence.

Powell: Uh-oh.

Smiley: Can’t you order him not to die?

Dr. J: Well, I suppose we could replace him with a consultant.

Nurse Teepell: Brilliant, sir!

Dr. J: I know.

“Tell me who would be better qualified to do what I am doing. I have 24 years of experience working with the legislature. I don’t see this is as ‘Good Old Boy.’ I feel that I am just more qualified than most people would be to do this job.”

–Former State Rep. Noble Ellington of Winnsboro, justifying his appointment to a $150,000 per year position as second in command at the Louisiana Department of Insurance despite his having virtually no background in the insurance industry (other than serving on the House Insurance Committee).

In the course of covering state government it is sometimes easy to overlook the good that elected officials do.

After having criticized the administration for hiring former legislators, some at six-figure salaries in the wake of the state’s financial plight, we got to reflecting that we may not have been entirely kind to ex-lawmakers fortunate enough to find themselves in the good graces of Gov. Bobby Jindal.

After all, why would state employees who are facing massive layoffs begrudge these former lawmakers the opportunity to fatten their retirement and benefit packages by going on the public dole as political appointees even as the governor shamelessly boasts of reducing the number of state employees?

And so far, we haven’t even mentioned the Jindal appointment of former St. Tammany Parish President Kevin Davis (term limited and lost his race for lieutenant governor) as the new Director of the Governor’s Office of Homeland Security and Emergency Preparedness (GOHSEP) at $165,000 per year or his appointment of former St. Bernard Parish President Craig Taffaro (who lost his re-election bid: did his constituents know something Jindal does not?) as the new Director of Hazard Mitigation and Recovery (whatever that may entail) at a tidy salary of $150,000 per year.

So, in the interest of fairness, we thought it a good idea to cite important legislation sponsored by these public servants while still in office.

Let’s start with former Rep. Noble Ellington of Winnsboro, who doubled his last year in office as national president of the American Legislative Exchange Council, that super-secret organization that spoon-feeds proposed legislation to lawmakers in all 50 states.

When his 24-year legislative career ended in January, he was quickly awarded a $150,000-a-year job as the second in command to Commissioner of Insurance and Jindal ally Jim Donelon. (We say ally because the governor generously contributed to Donelon’s re-election campaign last year.)

Here is a sample of legislation introduced by Ellington during his final three years in office:

(Note: HB stands for House Bill; SB for Senate Bill, HR for House Resolution and SR for Senate Resolution. HCR means House Concurrent Resolution and SCR Senate Concurrent Resolution. Resolutions, it should be noted, have no power of law.)

• HB—Creates the Louisiana Entrepreneurial Assistance and Development (LEAD) program for $37.5 million in venture capital tax credits;

• HR—Asks the federal government to refrain from regulating Internet Broadband services. (This was rendered moot when Jindal failed to apply for a federal grant to place broadband internet in rural areas of the state.);

• HCR—Commends a Louisiana Political Hall of Fame inductee;

• HR—Recognizes June 1, 2011, as 4-H Day at the capitol;

• HR—Commends House chaplain for his commitment;

• HB—Creates the Caldwell Parish Tourist Commission;

• HB—Allows a local sewerage district to increase per diem for the district’s board of supervisors;

• HB—Does the same for a local water district;

• HB—Phases in sales and use tax exemptions for certain manufacturers;

• HR—Commends a constituent on her 100th birthday;

• HR—Commends local constituent upon his selection as chairman of the National Propane Gas Association (Hank Hill, perhaps?);

• HB—Provides for the Economic Development Award program;

• HCR—requests the Department of Transportation and Development (DOTD) to designate a bridge in Harrisburg as the Veterans Memorial Bridge;

• HB—adds parishes with populations of between 10,000 and 11,000 (That seems awfully specific.) to requirement that tax assessors must pay premium costs of certain insurance coverage for employees.

Former State Rep. Jane Smith of Bossier City (defeated in her run for a Senate seat after being term-limited in the House, she landed on her feet with a $107,500-per-year position as deputy secretary in the Department of Revenue (to go with her $64,000 annual teaching retirement annual income) despite no prior experience or qualifications for the position:

• HB—Extends deadline for applying for tax credits under Louisiana Quality Jobs Program;

• HB—Authorizes the Board of Elementary and Secondary Education (BESE) to exempt the Recovery School District (RSD) from certain laws and regulations;

• HCR—Commends the Bossier High School basketball team for winning state championship;

• HR—Commends constituent for outstanding accomplishments;

• HCR—Asks Congress to maintain incentives for mid-level oil and gas exploration and production;

• HB—Provides tax credits for clean-burning motor vehicles;

• HB—Exempts gasoline sold on military installations from state gasoline tax;

• HB—Provides special homestead exemption assessment level for veterans who are disabled and 75 years of age or older;

• HCR—Commends constituent for outstanding accomplishments;

• HCR—Recognizes Louisiana Society of Professional Surveyors Day at Capitol;

• HR—Commends constituent on 90th birthday;

Former State Sen. Troy Hebert of Jeanerette, who was term-limited, resigned in November of 2010 to accept Jindal’s appointment as Commissioner of the Louisiana Alcohol and Tobacco Control Board at $107,00 per year. His legislative work seemed to concentrate on a running feud he had with a local district attorney:

• SB—Provided that the district attorney for the 16th Judicial District Court (JDC) could not pay for continuing legal education (CLE) courses for his assistants;

• SB—Would have created new judicial districts out of the 16th JDC;

• SB—Provided that if a “certain district attorney” left office voluntarily before the end of his term, his first assistant would be ineligible to run in the ensuing election;

• SB—Requested Legislative Auditor to conduct audit of 16th JDC;

• SB—Provides relative to distribution of revenues in the 16th JDC;

• SB—Constitutional Amendment to change term limits for “certain elected officials” and the percentage of vote required for eligibility to serve successive terms of office;

• SB—Allows the possession of firearms on certain public lands;

Former State Rep. Kay Katz of Monroe, term-limited and unable to run again, was appointed by Jindal to a $56,000-per-year job as a member of the Louisiana Tax Commission. At least her legislative resumé bore some relevance to taxes:

• HB—Exempts retirement income for those 65 or older from state individual income tax;

• HB—Increases individual income tax exemption on retirement income;

• HR—Directs the Department of Health and Hospitals (DHH) to study privatization of certain psychiatric forensic facilities;

• HCR—Asks Congress to halt EPA regulation of carbon dioxide emissions;

• HCR—Asks Congress to postpone EPA regulation of greenhouse gas emissions;

• HR—Commends Louisiana Dental Association for achievements and designates Dentists’ Day at the Louisiana Legislature;

• HR—Commends dental hygienists for outstanding contributions to oral health and recognizes Dental Hygiene Day;

• HCR—Commends Neville High School football team for winning state championship;

• HCR—Commends Rudy Macklin on retirement of his basketball jersey number by LSU;

• HR—Recognizes Capitol Day for the Cure;

• HR—Commends the Louisiana Psychological Association and designates Louisiana Psychological Association Day at the Louisiana Legislature;

• HR—Commends Louisiana Occupational Therapy Association for achievements and designates Louisiana Occupational Therapy Association Dat at the Legislature;

• HR—Commends constituent for her election as president of Quota International.

Former Sen. Nick Gautreaux of Meaux resigned from the Senate in December 2010 to accept Jindal’s appointment as Commissioner of the Office of Motor Vehicles. (We were unable to learn his salary.) Already considered by some as arrogant, he sent an email to his employees that said that individuals “who continue to defy change will suffer the wrath of my management team.” At least that seems to fit the Jindal M.O. Some of his finer legislative efforts:

• SB—Calls for constitutional amendment to provide that no local tax may be passed unless one-third of registered voters cast ballots;

• SB—Phases out the tax on incomes of individuals, estates and trusts (filed in multiple years);

• SB—Calls for constitutional amendment to allow non-recurring revenues to be used to give tax refunds to anyone required to file a Louisiana individual income tax return (filed in multiple years);

• SB—Grants transferable tax credit up to $450,000 per system for construction or installation of certain energy systems;

• Former Rep. Henry “Tank” Powell of Ponchatoula, who has been out of office for four years now, was recently appointed by Jindal to the State Pardon Board at $36,000 per year. Some of his legislative pearls:

• HB—Provides for the powers of the Ponchatoula chief of police;

• HB—Provides for appointments to the Crab Task Force;

• HCR—Recognizes American Legion Auxiliary Poppy Month;

• HCR—Commends the Patient Relations Section of the LSU Health Care Services Division;

• HB—Increases crab gear license fees and dedicates the increase to the enhancement of the crab industry;

• HB—Allows the Hammond city marshal to use fees to defray office expenses;

• HB—Creates the Louisiana Aquatic Chelonian Research and Promotion Board.

Former State Rep. M.J. “Mert” Smiley, who is the tax assessor-elect for Ascension Parish, but who won’t take office until January of 2013, was also appointed to a $36,000-per-year position on the pardon board by Jindal. More than anything else, Smiley is noted for asking in a legislative committee meeting if a state agency could order employees not to leave for other jobs. Among his legislative passions:

• HB would allow a municipality to retain its classification as a village even if population changes of less than 200 would otherwise classify it as a town;

• HB—Allows minors at least 16 years of age to donate blood with parental consent;

• HB—Merges the Fertilizer Commission and the Louisiana Feed Commission;

• HCR—Commends constituent for outstanding accomplishments;

• HCR—Commends retiring parish school superintendent;

• HCR—Commends a church pastor in Smiley’s home district;

• HB—Transfers the state motorcycle safety, awareness and operator training program from the Department of Education to Public Safety and Corrections;

• HR—Commends the Gonzales Boat Club on its 50th anniversary;

• HR—Commends local constituent on her 95th birthday.

There you have it. Never let it be said that we are hesitant to show what these appointees have contributed to the continued well-being of the citizens of Louisiana.