Louisiana Voice

“I will consider every conversation with me as president highly classified. So that would mean that if he wrote a book, and if the book gets out, he’s broken the law. And I would think that he would have criminal problems, I would hope so. They’ll soon be in court.”

—Donald Trump, on his objections to former National Security Advisor John Bolton’s book The Room Where it Happened

“I don’t know of any book that’s been published so quickly while the officeholders are still in government, and it’s about very current events, current leaders and current discussions of current policy issues, many of which are inherently classified.”

—Trump’s legal lapdog William Barr, Bolton’s book. {Looks to me like someone’s scared to death of what the book might reveal.]

“Bolton directly witnessed not one, but multiple acts that could have been cited in the impeachment of President Donald Trump. But Bolton did nothing about it while he held a powerful post in the Trump administration. And he stayed quiet and took cover when Congress and the nation pleaded with him to speak out during the impeachment process. Yet now that he has entered book promo mode, Bolton suddenly has summoned the spine that he was sorely missing back when it would have made an actual difference. Bolton had ample opportunity to speak up throughout the months-long impeachment of Trump over the Ukraine scandal. House investigators first asked that he appear to give voluntary testimony; Bolton was a no-show. Bolton then retained counsel, who requested a subpoena and promised to go to the courts for adjudication.”

—CNN legal analyst Elle Honig, on Bolton’s waiting until now to speak out. [But…but…but if he’d testified, don’t you see it would have diminished the impact of the book’s revelations and thus, sales. Of course, Trump’s ill-fated lawsuit to stop publication only served to assure Bolton of a No. 1 bestseller. Yet another tactical blunder by the Tangerine Toddler.]

Step right up, folks, before your neighbor buys the last of the lot and you’re left holding the bag!

That’s right, LouisianaVoice has the exclusive, guaranteed cure for MAGAVID-20, the dreaded plague of trumpcorruptavirus that has infected our great land for nearly four years. Act now, before it’s too late. You’ll have only yourself to blame if you don’t take advantage of this special offer.

At last the long-awaited Nope2020 T-shirts and anti-MAGA-20 facemasks are available from LouisianaVoice.

Guaranteed to start meaningful dialog and thoughtful philosophical exchanges with pro-Trumpers, you can order your T-shirts and/or masks from LouisianaVoice by clicking on the yellow button (it looks like this): in the column to the right of this post (this one shown here won’t work—you have to use the one below right) and paying the appropriate amount by credit card.

BE SURE TO PROVIDE YOUR MAILING ADDRESS WITH YOUR ORDER!

Or you can order by snail mail by sending your check to LouisianaVoice, P.O. Box 922, Denham Springs, LA. 70727.

IF YOU HAVE TROUBLE WITH THE “DONATE” BUTTON (AS SOME HAVE), USE SNAIL MAIL.

Here’s what they look like: NOPE 2020 SHIRTS AND MASKS (there are two pages, so be sure to scroll down to see both products.)

Note the orange (for the shirts; yellow for the facemasks) coiffure at the top of the word Nope; it’s the same color as the Liar-in-Chief’s toupee (depending on how the light catches it) and then there’s the crowning touch: the long, flowing red tie—just like the ones worn by The Tangerine Toddler. (Sorry, no little hands.)

The shirts are $18.99 for sizes Small, Medium, Large and XL. 2XLs are $21.99 and 3XL are $23.99.

That’s a good bit less than what you’ll pay for equivalent shirts elsewhere.

The prices for the masks are as follows:

1 Mask: $9.00

3 Masks: $24.00

5 Masks: $36.00

10 Masks: $66.00

20 Masks: $120.00

[If you need more than 20 masks, you have way more friends than I do, but let me know and we’ll work something out.]

HUR-ray, HUR-ray, HUR-ray, get your order in today. Don’t wait! At least three pro-Trumpers have offered to buy our complete inventory, but they’re not fooling us—we know they’re Russian trolls—bots, seeking to undermine another election in the greatest democratic republic ever conceived by getting our product off the market. But we’re not gonna let that happen. So get yours now! Operators are standing by.

It’s the only proven antidote to the dreaded MAGAVID-20 virus.

“As democracy is perfected, the office of the President represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. On some great and glorious day, the plain folks of the land will reach their heart’s desire at last, and the White House will be occupied by a downright fool and a complete narcissistic moron.”

––H.L. Mencken, writing in The Baltimore Sun, July 26, 1920. [Written 100 years ago—take that, Nostradamus!]

“If we stop testing right now, we’d have very few cases, if any.”

—Donald Trump, explaining how to address the spike in coronavirus cases, Monday, June 15. [Officer, if I wasn’t looking at my speedometer, I couldn’t have been speeding….If we remove video capabilities from cell phones, police brutality will cease to exist….If Trump can gain control over the news media, there will be no “fake news.” And H.L. Mencken was “a third-rate reporter, a total loser.”]

“Police and firefighters are nice to have, but they take away from private sector jobs and contribute nothing to the economy.”

—Rush Limbaugh, America’s most loud-mouthed bigot since Archie Bunker. [Trump may revoke his American Freedom Medal for that remark.]

“THE SILENT MAJORITY IS STRONGER THAN EVER!!!”

—Donald Trump tweet, June 16, 4:48 a.m. [Obviously not referring to Limbaugh.]

“So true!”

—Donald Trump response to above tweet as he now is given to responding to his own tweets.

“There are no jokes that are funnier or more insane than this actual retweet by a sitting (and very busy) president.”

—Tweet by Edgar Wright, in response to Trump responding to his own tweet.

“He did good, although it’s always questionable, you know, in other words, the end result —”

—Donald Trump, in an interview with Fox News anchor Harris Faulkner, in claiming he had done more for African-Americans than any president since Lincoln.

“Well, we are free, Mr. President, so I think he did pretty well,”

—Faulkner, cutting Trump off to point out that Lincoln, did in fact, “do good.”

“This may well be the president’s most audacious claim ever. Not only has he not done more than anybody else, he’s done close to the least.”

—Michael Fauntroy, professor of political science at Howard University, to The New York Times on Trump’s claim to have done so much for African-Americans.