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Times are hard, the state budget is in the dumpster with devastating cutbacks to Medicaid, state hospitals and higher education, and layoffs of state employees abound, thanks to the untimely combination of privatization and revenue shortages.

But not to worry: the Louisiana Office of Student Financial Assistance (LOSFA), which recently advertised to fill a $76,000-a-year position—restricted to agency employees only, thank you very much—on the heels of the layoff of 58 employees, is going forward with its annual off-site annual Strategic Planning Session for upper management at a cost of $3,500 to the agency.

LOSFA Executive Director Melanie Amrhein did say that in years past both days of the session have been held off-site (at $6,000 cost for each of the past three years, according to records provided LouisianaVoice subject to its public records request). Those costs include a $1,000 set-up cost and $2,500 per day for the session at the conference facilities of SSA Consultants, Inc. of Baton Rouge, complete with the obligatory “facilitator.”

The session will be held Aug. 30-31.

Amrhein said this year only one day of the session will be held at SSA with the other day of the event to be on-site. “It will be for one day instead of two,” she said of the SSA session, “and the cost will be one-half.”

Actually, assuming SSA will still charge the usual $1,000 set-up fee, the fee would be $3,500, or 70 percent of the usual cost, for about a dozen people expected to attend, she said.

Amrhein said it was considered “important to be away from our building with the facilitator” during the session in order to avoid distractions that would likely occur if held in the LOSFA offices.

During former Gov. Mike Foster’s administration, eight new state office buildings were constructed–each containing meeting rooms of all sizes designed to accommodate meetings, seminars and conferences. State agencies are not charged for use of the state facilities.

LOSFA is located in the Galvez Building at the corner of North and Fifth Streets in downtown Baton Rouge, within two blocks–easy walking distance–of three of those buildings.

Asked why the LOFSA Strategic Planning Session was not scheduled for one of the other seven buildings, Amrhein said, “It’s always been held off-site, or at least since I arrived here in 1999.”

“We need a five-year plan by July 1, 2013. That’s why this session is important,” she said.

“It’s not going to be restricted only to executive staff,” she said. “All directors in the office will be attending. Every division or agency in the state is encouraged to do this.”

She said the cost of the event will not come from state general funds, but from fees collected by the agency.

LouisianaVoice had requested a copy of this year’s contract along with those provided by LOSFA but it was not provided with the rest because, Amrhein said, “It has not been finalized yet.”

The 58 employees were laid off last month when LOFSA ceased guaranteeing student loans after the office’s loan program was ordered outsourced by Gov. Piyush Jindal.

“The school reserves the right to require any female student to take a pregnancy test to confirm whether or not the suspect student is in fact pregnant.”

–A Delhi Charter School policy which prohibits pregnant female students from attending school and which gives the school the power to force female students to take a pregnancy test if administrators ‘suspect’ pregnancy.

“Male students who might also have engaged in sexual activity or be expecting children are not subjected to similar action or risk.”

–Statement released by the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) in reaction to the Delhi Charter School policy.

If you think the approval of 165 vouchers for the New Living Word School in Ruston, with its lack of instructors, classroom space and textbooks, was a little over the top, you might wish to take a look at the Light City Christian Academy in New Orleans.

Light City, like New Living Word, was approved for only about half the vouchers requested (163 requested, 80 approved) but the fact it received even one should raise a few eyebrows.http://cenlamar.com/

And then there’s Delhi Charter School about 300 miles to the north in Richland Parish which feels that girls who get pregnant are not entitled to an education but looks the other way in considering discipline for the young fathers.

Schools in Westlake and DeRidder were disapproved after first having been approved for vouchers while one in Baton Rouge failed a state fire marshal’s inspection this week and will be forced to relocate.

State Education Superintendent John White and Gov. Piyush Jindal’s new approach to public education seems to be creating far more problems than it is solving.

But back to Light City Christian Academy, the school that teaches grades K-7, which will be siphoning off taxpayer dollars intended for legitimate public education.

“Light City Christian Academy…has been awarded 49 new scholarships and 31 to students who are continuing from the Orleans Parish program during the 2011-2012 school year,” according to information provided by the Louisiana Department of Education. The average tuition for the 80 students is $4,555 each, or a total of $364.400 per year.

It is not, however, The Light City School of Prophets that received the vouchers as erroneously reported in another blog, but its affiliated school, Light City Christian Academy. The confusion is understandable, however, since Leonard Lucas Jr. founded both organizations, as well as some three dozen other corporate entities in New Orleans.

Light City Christian Academy is operated by the same organization that runs the Light City School of the Prophets, an adult training program run by Lucas, a former one-term state representative who in 2002 received 5 percent of the vote in the New Orleans mayor’s race.

In 2009, Lucas, in an announcement containing numerous grammatical errors, announced his candidacy for New Orleans city council, a race he also lost.

He also founded the Light City Church and referred to himself as “Apostle.” His church became the focus of considerable negative publicity when, following Hurricane Katrina, he claimed credit for organizing the rescue of more than 1,000 residents, for gutting more than 1,000 homes, businesses and churches, and for bringing back more than 2,000 residents to work in jobs that paid $1,500 to $2,000 per week, none of which held up to scrutiny.

His Light City School of the Prophets web page reads thusly:

“The Light City Church School of the Prophets is a training institute for those who sense the flow and pull of the prophetic upon their lives. The mandate of the school of the Prophets just as it was in the Old Testament days is to train men and women effectively in the prophetic. It is a time of proper training, mentoring, and developing of the spirit in the prophetic realm. It is a time that you are taught how to hear from God, how to speak the mind of God, and how to nurture the gift of prophecy.

“Those individuals that accept the challenge to attend must have an understanding that they are yielding themselves to the tutelage of Apostle Leonard Lucas Jr., who walks in the fullness of his calling and wears the mantle of an Apostle and Prophet. If you believe this is the calling upon your life, we invite you to join us for dynamic teaching and thought provoking sessions. Classes are held every Friday at 7:00pm at Light City Church, located at 6117 St. Claude Ave. Please call 504-301-4593 for more information.”

The same web page announces a mentorship training class on Aug. 17. “Join Apostle Lucas for this life changing mentorship course designed to accelerate your anointing in the prophetic,” it says.

Delhi Charter School, meanwhile, has attracted the attention of the American Civil Liberties Union because of the school’s unusual policy over teen pregnancy. Delhi Charter, with 600 students, apparently does not subscribe to the theory that female students have the right to a discrimination-free education.

The policy not only prevents pregnant female students from attending school, but can even force girls to take a pregnancy test to continue attending school if administrators so much as “suspect” they might be pregnant.

“The school reserves the right to require any female student to take a pregnancy test to confirm whether or not the suspect student is in fact pregnant,” says the policy. The policy also gives the school the power to refer the student to a school-designated physician.

“If the test indicates that the student is pregnant, the student will not be permitted to attend classes on the campus of Delhi Charter School” but may be required to enroll in a home study course during the duration of the pregnancy.

Nothing in the policy addresses any disciplinary action against any male student who may have had a part in getting a female pregnant. Apparent the Old Testament doctrine that gives men dominion over women holds true at Delhi Charter School.

The ALCU, however, thinks otherwise.

“The (school’s) complete disregard for Title IX of the Education Amendments of 1972, the federal law that prohibits sex discrimination in federally funded education programs and activities, is astonishing,” the rights organization said in a prepared statement. “Title IX … explicitly mandate(s) that schools cannot exclude any student from an education program or activity…on the basis of such student’s pregnancy, childbirth, false pregnancy, termination of pregnancy or recovery therefrom.”

The ACLU statement also said the policy also “treats female students differently from male students and relies on archaic stereotypes linked to sex and pregnancy.”

So apparently, if Delhi Charter School adheres to its policy of not taking action against male students, then it would be reasonable to assume that no males had any involvement in the pregnancy. The only possible course of action then would be for the girl to claim Immaculate Conception.

If the school administrators truly believe in the Immaculate Conception, that claim could place them in quite a quandary. Would they dare deny the possibility?

Any time you try to list outrageous, disingenuous, or non-sensical quotes from public officials, elected or appointed, you can count on running out of room before you run out of quotes.

This is precisely what happened when we attempted to describe The Game Plan, a book discovered recently by a member a group touring the Louisiana State Capitol.

Accordingly, we are back but this time with some of the best of our Notable Quotable offerings—with a twist: following the quotes and the attribution, we are offering an interpretation of what was really meant.

“I, along with other members of the Louisiana Legislature, greatly appreciate your contribution to the scholarship funds. Your $1,000 check…can be sent directly to me…”–Exerpt from solicitation letter by State Rep. Joe Harrison (R-Gray) seeking contributions to the American Legislative Exchange Council (ALEC) Louisiana Scholarship Fund. The scholarship fund pays the expenses of state legislators to attend ALEC conferences. (We’re going to collect our $152 per diem from the state while kicking up our heels in Salt Lake City but to really party down, we’re gonna need more money.)

“Rep. Harrison informs that his assistant will return Monday (July 16) & send the list of recipients of the letter.”–E-mail to LouisianaVoice from House Clerk Albert “Butch” Speer on Thursday, July 12, in response to request for the names of recipients of a letter from Rep. Joe Harrison (R-Gray) soliciting $1,000 contributions to help “over thirty” legislators attend an ALEC conference. (Rep. Harrison is stalling for time.)

“My opinion is that the solicitation of donations for ALEC does not create a public record.”–E-mail from Speer on Monday, July 16, explaining that there had been a 180-degree flip-flop over the weekend. (I know what the law is, but I work here and I have to do what these clowns say.)

“Wisdom should be left to the political arena and not to us.”–State Civil Service Commission member John McClure. (Politicians are clueless but we are more so.)

“You must be an employee of the Office of Student Financial Assistance in order to be considered for this position.”–One of the requirements of applicants for a new position at the Louisiana Office of Student Financial Assistance (LOSFA) that pays up to $76,000 per year. (We already know who we want for the position, so don’t bother applying.)

“The Department of Education’s legal department has determined that the documents are in the ‘Pre-Decisional Status,’ and we’re unable to allow you to examine them.”–Department of Education (DOE) after first agreeing to allow LouisianaVoice to examine copies of all applications for vouchers/scholarships received by DOE. (We got caught with our pants down with some of our voucher approvals and we have to cover our backsides.)

“I think that John White is still lying. He is in full CYA mode and assumes that he will simply be able to BS his way out of the contradiction the Monroe News-Star has caught him in. After all, it’s a method that has worked perfectly well for him ever since he arrived in Louisiana.”–Comment by a Times-Picayune reader in response to State Education Superintendent John White’s contention that there was “nothing inappropriate” about his email to members of Gov. Piyush Jindal’s staff in which he outlined his plan for “muddying up the narrative” of reporters who exposed a Ruston school with no accommodations but which was approved for 315 voucher/scholarships. (I think that John White is still lying. He is in full CYA mode and assumes that he will simply be able to BS his way out of the contradiction the Monroe News-Star has caught him in. After all, it’s a method that has worked perfectly well for him ever since he arrived in Louisiana.)

“I know that the administration was not prepared to answer questions and the answers they gave were not forthcoming about the voucher program.”–State Sen. Ed Murray (D-New Orleans), on hearing of State Education Superintendent John White’s emailed plans to baffle the legislature with B.S. over the issue of the department’s approval of 315 vouchers for a Ruston school that has no classroom space, desks, teachers or books to accommodate the additional students. (I think that John White is still lying. He is in full CYA mode and assumes that he will simply be able to BS his way out of the contradiction the Monroe News-Star has caught him in. After all, it’s a method that has worked perfectly well for him ever since he arrived in Louisiana.)

“There are tremendous ramifications for our members and the system.”–Cindy Rougeou, executive director of the Louisiana State Employees Retirement System (LASERS), in discussing the need to obtain a determination from the IRS on whether or not Piyush Jindal’s recently approved “cash-balance” 401(k) type retirement plan for new hires, scheduled to go into effect on July 1, 2013, will be eligible for tax-exempt status–a question one would reasonably expect Jindal to have determined well in advance of presenting his new plan for legislative approval. (Piyush Jindal is such a nimrod.)

“The course provider shall receive a course amount for each eligible funded student.” “…The per course amount means an amount equal to the market rate as determined by the course provider and reported to the State Department of Education.”–Examples of language contained in House Bill 976, aka Act 2, aka the Student Scholarships for Educational Excellence Act, passed by the legislature and signed into law by Gov. Piyush Jindal, which is anticipated to cost the state $44.5 million over five years. (We going to let the fox guard the henhouse and by the time the legislature and the voters find out, I’ll be vice president.)

“Over the last four and a half years, we have outperformed the national and southern economies, and in order to continue to attract business investment, we need to stay competitive with the rest of the country and the world.”–Gov. Piyush Jindal, on signing into law two bills to “increase economic competitiveness” by creating a corporate headquarters relocation program. (Tax breaks, tax breaks. We gotta give more tax breaks.)

“We accept every contribution in good faith and in accordance with the law. Everybody who donates to our campaign gets the same thing and that is good government.”–Timmy Teepell, advisor and confidant to Gov. Piyush Jindal, responding to questions about $95,000 that federal investigators say may have been laundered illegally into the Jindal 2007 campaign for governor. (We don’t care how dirty the money is; once we get our hands on it, it’s ours.)

“We cannot protect people from making bad decisions in their lives.”–Sen. Elbert Guillory (D-Opelousas), commenting on the possibility that retirees may spend all of their lump-sum pension benefits being proposed as part of Gov. Piyush Jindal’s retirement reform package. He went on to say that retirees may have to apply for food stamps, welfare and other government programs. (I’ll even give you an example of a bad decision: I got elected, didn’t I?)

“Can’t you keep your employees from going elsewhere? Can’t you forbid them to leave?–Then Rep. (now Ascension Parish Tax Assessor) Mert Smiley, responding to an official of the Office of Risk Management who alluded to the problem of keeping adjusters after the agency was privatized. (Emancipation Proclamation? What’s an Emancipation Proclamation? I got elected didn’t I?)

“Samples of successful bidder will be retained at the purchasing office or the using agency…Any other samples received, if not destroyed in testing, may be returned at the bidder’s expense.”–from bid specifications contained in Louisiana Division of Administration’s invitation for bids on the purchase of condoms by the state. (Don’t even ask how we test ‘em.)

“You are entitled to your opinion, but I do suggest you conduct a fact check.”—BESE President Penny Dastugue, in response to questions about BESE “walking quorums” to discuss privately certain topics before discussing them in open meeting—a violation of state open meeting laws—and of questions about her admission of conducting conference calls with BESE members to head off unfavorable action on scholarship school accountability. (Are you going to believe your eyes or what I tell you?)

We have a bad reputation in this state as legislators and public officials because we keep filing bills like this and telling people we are crooks.”–Sen. Dan Martiny (R-Metairie), in a snit as he spoke out against a bill that would prohibit former legislators from taking state jobs to pad their retirement. (Wait! I said we’re telling people we’re crooks; I didn’t say we are crooks.)

“We do not have a poor state, but a state with poor leaders.”—Piyush Jindal, in his first inaugural address, Jan. 14, 2008. (To remedy that, I’m going to hire poor leaders from other states.)

“When we succeed…they will take note on the board rooms of Wall Street.”—Piyush Jindal, in his first inaugural address. (With all the private contracts I’m going to award, they’ll love me on Wall Street.)

“Our governor, a proponent of less government spending, sure does spend a lot of time out of state on the taxpayers’ dime to promote himself.”–Unidentified reader, responding to Baton Rouge Advocate story about Gov. Jindal’s upcoming trip to speak to The American Federation of Children in New Jersey. (Our governor, a proponent of less government spending, sure does spend a lot of time out of state on the taxpayers’ dime to promote himself.)

“That rebuttal speech will be played over and over and over and over.”–Loyola University in New Orleans associate political science professor Philip Dynia, commenting on what would likely happen if Gov. Bobby Jindal ran as Mitt Romney’s vice president and the prospects that Jindal’s Republican rebuttal to President Obama’s 2009 State of the Union Address would be resurrected from YouTube. (…resurrected from YouTube and played repeatedly on Comedy Central.)

A recent tour group happened by the Louisiana State Capitol in Baton Rouge recently. Wide-eyed and cameras at the ready, they made their way up the 50 steps, each given the name of one of the states. They entered the stately rotunda adorned with brass and a large round state seal embedded in the middle of the floor, complete with each of the state’s 64 parishes.

As their gaze took in the beauty of the magnificent structure, they noticed dozens of people scurrying about. Many of them, they noticed, were reading from a small book. The more adventurous of the tour group caught up with someone in a brown shirt and asked what he was reading but the brown shirt ignored him and walked away.

The tourist noticed a copy of the book on the floor. The title of the book was The Game Plan. He picked it up and sat down beneath a statue and began to read. The introduction explained that The Game Plan was simply an instruction manual for administration officials, from education to health care to legislative procedure and fund-raising.

“It is important to remember,” the introduction said, “that the successful appointed or elected official must be adept at saying one thing while meaning something else entirely.”

The tourist, intrigued, read on. He found the following examples in the book of what might be said, followed by what was actually meant:

• “Always refer to vouchers as ‘scholarships.” (In other words conflate the meaning of something given by the state with something earned by the student.);

• “Parents should have a choice about where they send their children. Children should not be trapped in a failing school.” (We do not, under any circumstances, discuss students trapped in poverty. What’s that got to do with education anyway? We must, by any method available, steer the conversation away from poverty.);

• “Characterize disastrous budget cuts as an ‘opportunity to transform.’” (We must condition the public to additional budget cuts as we continue to pass additional corporate tax breaks.);

• “Discuss privatizing public functions rather than profitizing private companies.” (We have campaign contributors who we must take care of.);

• “Describe dedicated state workers who provide essential public services as ‘government bureaucrats.’ (Exploit, at every opportunity, the public’s general distaste of the word bureaucrat.);

• “Unions want to maintain the status quo.” (It’s corporations that have the money for campaign contributions. See: Citizens United.);

• “Deliberately employ confusing statistics, contradictory statements and bureaucratic language.” (If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with B.S.);

• “Appeal to fear and security as reasons for radical actions.” (Can you say Joseph McCarthy, Richard Nixon and the House Unamerican Activities Committee?);

• “Be sure to repeat ‘Transparency and Accountability’ as often as possible.” (That way, no one will notice when you have secret ‘walking quorum’ BESE meetings to discuss what you plan to discuss in open meeting. But NEVER mention accountability when discussing vouchers or charter schools.);

• “The private sector is better equipped to provide vital services more efficiently.” (The sole purpose of government is to provide opportunities for corporate profits.);

• “Appointments will be based on what you know, not who you know.” (How much did he contribute to the campaign?);

• “The MFP is fully funded.” (The MFP means ‘More for Piyush.’);

• “I have the job I want.” (I won’t settle for anything less prestigious than emperor of the free world.)

The tour group was about to leave so the tourist had to put down the book. As he walked to rejoin his group, he looked back at the statue and saw that it was Republican Party strategist Frank Luntz and he was holding a copy of the book while blowing on a dog whistle. Timmy Teepell, with a sly grin on his face and an “OnMessage” sign hanging around his neck, was peeking from behind the statue.