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You couldn’t really blame Rep. John Fleming (R-Minden) if he simply canceled his Facebook account after the ridicule heaped upon him for his having fallen for a “story” on The Onion.

For those who still don’t know, The Onion is a web page that offers parodies of news stories.

Of course, Fleming, the all-in-one political reincarnation of Willie Rainach, Leander Perez and John Rarick, isn’t the only public official to fall for a satirical story published by The Onion. Only a few weeks ago the official Chinese People’s Daily English language website picked up the story in which The Onion named North Korea’s Supreme Leader Kim Jong Un as the “Sexiest Man Alive,” http://www.npr.org/2012/12/01/166293306/the-onion-so-funny-it-makes-us-cry running it verbatim and adding a 55-photo slideshow of Kim.

But when The Onion ran a story in May of 2011 announcing that Planned Parenthood had opened an $8 billion Abortionplex, Fleming swallowed the bait, albeit nearly a year later, giving the story new legs http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/02/06/john-fleming-onion-planned-parenthood_n_1257763.html.

The story provided details of the “sprawling abortion facility,” including more than 2,000 rooms, coffee shops, bars, dozens of restaurants, retail outlets, a three-story nightclub and a 10-screen multiplex theater—“features intended not only to help clients relax, but to foster a sense of community and make abortion more of a social event.”

Last February, Fleming jumped into the fray, posting on his Facebook page, “More on Planned Parenthood, abortion by the wholesale.” http://literallyunbelievable.org/post/17153265749/how-exactly-did-you-get-elected Fleming spokesman Doug Sachteben later confirmed that the red-faced congressman had removed the post but the damage was done.

The blog Literally Unbelievable, which posts Facebook statuses from users who believe Onion articles, pounced on Fleming’s status before it was removed and re-posted it, prompting a few interesting comments:

• “…The Republican Party has become the party of the rich, the paranoid and the simple-minded.”

• “How can he really believe something so patently stupid?”

• “How much of a moron can you be and not be declared unfit for public office?”

• “Since Fleming is clearly brain-dead, can we unplug him now?”

So, not only was the good congressman from Minden gullible, he was also way behind the curve in being so.

Gullible and slow: not a good combination for a member of Congress, but welcomed by The Onion’s editor, Joe Randazzo.

“We’re delighted to hear that Rep. Fleming is a regular reader of America’s finest news source and doesn’t bother himself with the New York Times, Washington Post, the mediums of television and radio, or any other lesser journalism outlets,” he said.

Of course, Fleming loves to post onto his Facebook page, with many of his messages containing vitriolic criticism of political opponents.

He even goes so far as to block comments on his Facebook page from anyone who disagrees with him—a practice that should raise eyebrows considering the fact that he ostensibly represents all citizens in his Fourth Congressional District.

“Fleming threatened to ban/block me from his FB page for a comment I made that was not bad; it just pointed out his hypocrisy,” one of his constituents wrote.

Another, a retired federal employee, said he was accepted as a “friend” on Fleming’s Facebook page. “I had no problem viewing and commenting on anything that was posted,” he said. “At that time, I was often appalled at how demeaning Congressman Fleming or his staff was to some of the people who seemed to present a different point of view.

“If comments were supportive or “atta-boy” comments, he would praise the person and be very complimentary. But if they were contradictory, he would be very critical or condescending of the person,” he said.

After posting occasional comments that took issue with Fleming positions, the federal retiree sometime in early 2012 suddenly found that he could read Fleming’s posts but no longer could submit comments.

“I spent 16 years of my career working with congressional members relative to budget, so I am experienced at protocol, respecting and communicating with representatives and senators,” he said. “When I posted a comment, it might be supportive, neutral or contradictory, but the comment was always professionally worded and backed up with facts.

“As best I could tell, I had been flagged or was not allowed to post comments on anything posted on Congressman Fleming’s Facebook page.

“Hence, as a person who lives within his district, I am not allowed to express a concern or an opinion on his Facebook posts,” he said.

As a footnote to an earlier post, perhaps LouisianaVoice was a bit unfair to Fleming in portraying him as being interested in advancing only the interests of the wealthy by opposing any tax increase on those making more than $1 million per year.

We may have inadvertently made him appear greedy in showing how he obtained his riches first as a physician and then by branching out into other areas such as Subway sandwich shops and UPS franchises.

We may even have been unfair in pointing out the discrepancies in his numbers when he said he only has $600,000 left over after his businesses brought in $6.3 million in 2010 and the remaining $5.7 million had to go to paying 500 employees, equipment purchase and leasing and the purchase of food for his restaurants.

After all, it almost certainly was a misstatement on his part to imply that he was paying his 500 employees at a wage below the national poverty level. ($5.7 million divided by 500 employees comes to $11,400 per year, the approximate national poverty level in 2010.)

Surely, it was unfair to imply that Fleming does not care for the working poor when a search of corporations run by him reveals that he represents Fleming Payday Loans, an enterprise that offers short-term loans to those who need quick cash to tide them over from payday to payday.

Never mind that the annualized interest rate of a two-week loan may be as high as 390 percent.

He’s helping the poor, right?

When Louisiana Congressman John Fleming said he is not in favor of increasing the tax rate for those making $1 million and more per year, you need to probe a little deeper to understand that his real motive in opposing higher taxes might be just a tad self-serving.

Interviewed right after House Speaker John Boehner, R-Ohio, withdrew his “Plan B” fiscal cliff bill which would have extended the Bush-era tax cuts to all households making less than $1 million per year, Fleming made his position crystal clear.

“Raising taxes on any American to me is not the right message, he told CBS reporter Nancy Cordes. “The right message is cutting spending.”

But to fully understand what Fleming, a Minden Republican, is really saying, we have to go back more than a year to Sept. 19, 2011, and review his MSNBC interview with Chris Jansing, giving particular attention to the numbers being bandied around in that interview.

Jansing reminded Fleming that his businesses (Subway sandwich and UPS franchises) earned $6.3 million in 2010.

Fleming said that while his businesses made $6.3 million, “Income flows to my personal tax return. My net income is a mere fraction of $6 million since my net income is more like $600,000. By the time I feed my family, I have maybe $400,000 left over.”

That’s right, folks, Congressman John Fleming, that man of the people whose only concern is the welfare of good, hard-working Americans, can barely make ends meet on $600,000 per year. And that doesn’t even include his $174,000 per year congressional salary, free mail (franking) privileges, district office, furniture and staff.

The average household income in the U.S. in 2010 was just under $50,000, down 2.3 percent from 2009.

“Class warfare has never created a job,” he said in that interview. “Most people feel owning a business is a virtue, not a vice.”

That, folks, is called spin.

That $6.3 million is “before you pay 500 employees, you pay rent, you pay (for) equipment and food,” he protested, almost to the point of whining.

But his numbers just don’t add up so let’s break them down and then you can decide for yourself just who is promoting class warfare.

Let’s begin with that $6.3 million. By his own admission, he receives $600,000 of that, which leaves a trifling $5.7 million with which he claims he pays 500 employees, pays rent, purchases or leases equipment and buys food for his Subway restaurants.

For the time being, let’s discard all the expenses for rent, equipment and food and say, for the sake of argument, that the entire $5.7 million goes for salaries of those 500 employees.

That works out to $11,400 per employee—UPS drivers, sandwich makers, and supervisory personnel.

The poverty level for a one-person household in America in 2010 was $11,344.

Assuming that his UPS drivers and management personnel were making substantially more than that $11,400 average, reason dictates that the remainder of his workers were among America’s working poor.

Fleming told Jansing President Obama’s deficit reduction plan was a terrible idea which kills jobs provided by wealthy “job creators.”

Whether or not one agrees with Obama, Fleming’s position is a little difficult to square up against the numbers he threw out to Jansing.

Of course Fleming was either grossly exaggerating the number of employees or grossly understating the income from his business enterprises which also include numerous other investments.

Or his employee turnover rate is such that he really did go through 500 workers during 2010 as personnel came and went after unusually brief tenures which would translate into far fewer people on the payroll at any given time.

Not that Fleming is a poor businessman. He already had the good sense to set his businesses up in such a way as to minimize his corporate taxes.

Under the federal tax system, the income of corporations is taxed twice—once at the corporate level through the payment of the corporate income tax and again at the individual rate when corporate profits are distributed. Sole proprietorships, partnerships, S corporations and limited liability companies (LLC) are taxed only at the individual owner level.

According to his congressional financial statement, his companies are all set up as LLCs and partnerships which would explain his statement that the $6.3 million flowed through his personal income taxes.

Congressional financial statements are vague at best, thanks to the requirement that income and liabilities are generally listed within a spacious range between the low and high ends.
For example, here are Fleming’s 2011 income ranges from the following sources:

• Park City Health Services (Fleming also is a physician)—$1 million to $5 million;

• JCF Properties Limited Partnership—$100,000 to $1 million;

• Fleming Franchise Development—$100,000 to $1 million;

• Fleming Subway Restaurants—Over $5 million;

It’s not that we mean to come down too hard on the good congressmen. After all, he went through some tough financial times from 2007, the year before he was first elected, to 2010, the latest year for which figures are available from OpenSecrets.org, as reported by the Washington Post.

His net worth plummeted from $24 million in 2007 to a paltry $6.5 million in 2008 before eventually climbing back to $10.2 million in 2010.

That included $3.8 million in real estate, $3.6 million from his private companies and $3.2 million from unspecified sources.

He did pretty well, too, in attracting big ticket campaign contributions in 2011-2012.

Of the $1,229,259 in total campaign contributions, $1,202,416 (77 percent) was classified as large individual contributions while a mere $26,843 (2 percent) came from small individual contributors.

Another $321,363 (21 percent) came from political action committees, including, among others, Northrop Grumman’s PAC ($15,000), The American Academy of Orthopaedic Surgeons and Every Republican is Crucial PACs ($10,000 each), National Association of Realtors (8,010), the Shaw Group ($8,000) and the National Beer Wholesalers Association ($7,500).

Other contributors included:

• Atco Investments: $29,000;

• Gamble Guest Care: $15,100;

• Kinsey Interests: $12,300;

• Builders Supply Co.: $12,100;

• Willis Knighten Hospital: $7,200;

• Louisiana State University: $11,850.

We can only hope things pick up for Congressman Fleming in 2013 so that he can feed his family a little better and bring the pay scale of his employees up to the national poverty level and perhaps even endure a tax increase for him and his poor millionaire friends.

Anything to be said at this point about the heartbreaking massacre in Newtown, Conn. last Friday has most likely already been said.

That said, there appears to be growing sentiment in favor of restricting or the outright banning of ownership of automatic and semi-automatic weapons.

One reader made two points about automatic weapons: first, they are made for one specific purpose, killing people, and second, if you can’t hit your target in two or three shots, you don’t need a weapon that will fire off 40 rounds in a few seconds.

Of course, the NRA types will fall back on their tired reasoning that guns don’t kill people, people kill people. That trite expression no longer holds water. It may be people who want to kill people, but the weapon is the enabler, the tool that makes killing faster and more efficient.

But the roots of the Newtown tragedy go far deeper than the mere debate over weapons.

Clearly, something must be done to restrict the availability of automatic weapons but this country, this state, and we as a society must also address the lack of availability of care for the mentally ill among us.

To leave these people with nowhere to turn, to leave them wandering the streets wrestling with their personal demons, is nothing short of criminal.

The fact that we may have never encountered someone suffering from mental disorders does not imply that they’re not just around the next corner. In fact, if we are perfectly honest with ourselves, there probably have been times when each of us has struggled through periods of depression, insecurity and uncertainty.

In August of 2009, it was announced that the New Orleans Adolescent Hospital (NOAH), the only public hospital in the city with a dedicated mental health ward, would be closed on Sept. 1.

Gov. Piyush Jindal, through his then-secretary of the Department of Health and Hospitals Alan Levine, said the facility would be integrated with Southeast Louisiana Hospital 40 miles away in Mandeville on the north shore of Lake Pontchartrain in a move to save $14 million.

“You don’t prevent people from committing crimes by building more jails,” Levine said. “Similarly, you don’t prevent people from having mental problems by building more beds; all it is doing is cycling people in and out of beds.”

A mere three years after the closure of NOAH, Piyush announced the closure of Southeast Louisiana Hospital, leaving residents of southeast Louisiana, the most heavily-populated area of the state, without a state mental health facility.

Jindal said Southeast patients would be transferred to East Louisiana Hospital in Jackson and Central Louisiana Hospital in Pineville.

Where, one must wonder, will they go when Jindal closes those hospitals?

When a facility is shut down, many patients refuse to move to a new location and they often cease taking their medication, which only exacerbates an already serious problem.

Take the 2008 case of Bernell Johnson. Described by relatives as paranoid schizophrenic, and recently released from a mental facility, Johnson was approached on a New Orleans street by police officer Nicola Cotton because she thought he fit the description of a wanted rape suspect.

Suddenly agitated, he turned on the 24-year-old officer who was two months pregnant. During a struggle, he grabbed her weapon and emptied it on her. Once it was over, a calmer remained by her lifeless body until other officers arrived. Should he have been released when he was? Probably not but the point is, he was wandering the streets, untreated and unmedicated.

This is not to bestow pity on those who for reasons known only to their own twisted logic, decide to go on a killing rampage. It’s difficult to get past the anger and heartache to the root cause of the carnage. That’s human nature.

But not everyone suffering from mental issues is a killer. I once saw an elderly black man walking along the side of the U.S. 190 in Denham Springs and stopped and offered him a ride. When he was in my car, I asked where he was going and he told me he was trying to get back to his halfway house in Baton Rouge.

The only problem was, we were traveling away from, not toward Baton Rouge. As I drove, I tried to get more information from the obviously confused old gentleman. During the course of his ramblings, he happened to mention that had not heard the voices in his head for several days now. For the first time, the idea that I may have made a serious mistake entered my mind.

When I reached my road, I turned off the highway and suggested he proceed back toward Baton Rouge. Instead, as I drove away, I noticed he was walking in the same direction as I so when I reached my home, I called the police and suggested they pick him up and try to get him back to where he belonged.

They told me they’d already picked him up because a nervous resident called when she spotted him wandering in her neighborhood. He was harmless, but completely disoriented and he instilled fear in certain others.

Mental illness is very real and it affects many who cannot afford treatment. Accordingly, it is incumbent upon the state and society to ensure that treatment is readily available to those who so desperately need it.

Tragically, the lack of access to mental treatment and the easy access to deadly weapons converged in Newtown last week. As horrific as it was, it could have been even more catastrophic had the killer’s rampage continued.

We can only hope that sanity will prevail on the federal and state levels and both these problems—gun control and mental treatment availability—will be addressed without the accompanying political posturing that goes with so many debates these days.

Common sense must be the new order of the day. We can accept nothing less.

And finally, next Tuesday morning, when you are watching your children squealing and laughing in the mountain of Christmas presents and wrapping paper that surround them next to the tree, take a little time to remember those 20 little angels and their six protectors who never got a chance to celebrate with their families. Take a moment to remember the anguish their parents and family members must be suffering at that very moment, knowing that presents, already bought and wrapped, will never be opened by the intended recipients.

And then take a very long moment to hold your own children just a little longer and a little tighter. And don’t forget to tell them you love them, over and over.

Office of Alcohol and Tobacco Control (ATC) Director Troy Hebert, one of those former legislators to whom Piyush Jindal appointed to a six-figure state job, made a big production this week of his so-called “audit” of personal use of state cell phones by agents working under him.

Hebert, of Jeanerette, resigned from the State Senate in November of 2010 to accept the appointment as ATC director at $107,000 per year and has conducted a reign of terror in the ensuing two years.

While Hebert claims that only a half-dozen or so employees have left his agency, a survey by LouisianaVoice learned that the number was closer to 50. Some of those were fired only days after being hired by Hebert while others quit out of disgust.

Hebert obviously considers his status in more grandiose terms than most elected officials, much less appointed department heads, though there are rumors floating around that he considers himself as a potential candidate for governor.

Though he is merely a mid-level department head, he nevertheless requires his employees to stand when he enters a room and to address him with a cheery, “Good morning, Commissioner.”

Such courtesy is normally extended only to heads of state, not obscure state bureaucratic appointees.

This is the same guy who expresses such indignation at his employees’ use of state cell phones for personal calls who thought nothing of blowing a couple of thousand on low-profile, 22-inch rims for his state vehicle.

This is the same guy who, though he has zero training as a law enforcement official, demanded—and got—emergency lights installed on his state vehicle so he could play cop.

This is the guy who suspended an employee after her physician refused to provide weekly status reports despite the physician’s prior written certification that she was physically unable to work.

This is the same administrator who more than once transferred an employee from one end of the state to the other with as little as two days’ notice.

This is the same agency head who directed an agent to return to uniform status and to re-enter a New Orleans bar for inspections—after that same agent had purchased drugs during an undercover investigation in that same establishment—a directive that might well have served as the agent’s death sentence had things gone badly.

And this is the same guy who made a big production a few months back over a $10,000 expenditure to purchase and train a “synthetic drug-sniffing canine.”

“ATC Commissioner Troy Hebert says (the) new canine will be a great asset when it comes to detecting synthetic marijuana,” the news release said. ‘“It’s a very, very dangerous substance,’ said Hebert. ‘We think this new addition’s going to help us with some of that.’”

The only problem is, the “certificate of certification” from the National Police Canine Association in Waddell, Arizona, dated Nov. 2, certifies the new dog only for marijuana and cocaine, not synthetic drugs.

There’s a reason for that: synthetic marijuana is virtually impossible to detect reliably because the chemical ingredients of synthetic drugs is constantly changing, meaning there is no reliably consistent pattern for animals to learn.

LouisianaVoice earlier reported his propensity to fire employees with little or no reason and that he has settled a couple of discrimination lawsuits brought by former employees.

Hebert fits right into the Piyush Jindal mold of arrogance that permeates this entire administration, from cabinet members who refuse to divulge the identities of contract winners to administrators who refuse to provide reports to legislative committees to the governor himself, who ignores requests for information.

But back to those state cell phones.

ATC agents are often away from home for stretches of 12 hours or longer and upon their hiring, Hebert informs agents that as long as they handle ATC business, they may use their state phones for personal calls.

There you have it. It’s policy.

And now Hebert is trying to come off as a diligent agency head hell bent on keeping recalcitrant employees in line. This from a guy who consistently disregards civil service rules and regulations and gets himself backed into EEO corners that cost the state thousands upon thousands of dollars in payments to former employees and legal fees.

You do not tell your employees it’s permissible to use state cell phones for personal calls and then throw them under the bus for purposes of painting yourself as the noble guardian of the public trust—especially when your own motives are called into question.

The bottom line appears to be that he is setting up a few agents to persecute through a complicit news media at Press Release Central who simply takes press handouts and runs them with no questions asked.

There can be only one explanation for such action: he hopes to deflect criticism of his own administrative actions and misdeeds by tagging his subordinates with perceived wrongdoing.

To that end, he fits right in with this administration.

“Never have seen an eagle successfully make off with a baby…but the idea they’d take a poke at a human is by no means off the table; I’ve seen it. This happened in Montreal.”

—MacAoidh, publisher of The Hayride blog, commenting on the video of an eagle attacking an infant, which he purports to be real (It isn’t; it’s a hoax).