Louisiana Voice

“I don’t take responsibility at all.” 

—Donald Trump, March 13, 2020, on the administrations inability to test Americans for coronavirus.

“When somebody is the president of the United States, the authority is total.”

—Donald Trump, at coronavirus update briefing on Monday of this week.

At any given time within the D.C. Beltway, there is a plethora of advisers on any given issue,

Washington has more PhDs and lawyers than McDonald’s has Big Macs, more position papers than internet conspiracy theories, gathering more dust than that treadmill my wife bought me

So, why on earth would Donald Trump find it necessary to call upon VINCE McMAHON to provide him economic advice on reopening the country during the coronavirus pandemic?

Other than the fact that such a move somehow makes perfect sense in an otherwise senseless administration gone mad, the inclusion of McMahon in Trump’s advisory group looks like something ripped from the pages of Mad Magazine—except for the fact that Mad Magazine would read like War and Peace when compared to the Trump administration.

In case you don’t know who Vince McMahon is, he is owner of World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) who once had his head shaved by Trump after an infamous hair vs. hair WrestleMania match back in 2007.

Come to think of it, perhaps it is appropriate. WWE, after all, produces wrestling matches that are about as real and to be taken as seriously as Donald Trump himself were Trump not in complete control of a subservient Republican Party and were he not in possession of the nuclear codes.

As further evidence that McMahon was the right choice, it should be pointed out that he was the moving force behind the XFL, created to offer springtime entertainment for pro football junkies as a bridge between NFL seasons.

He had attempted a similar venture back in the early 2000s, but it failed.

So did this year’s version.

That’s two bankruptcies for McMahon. Between him and Trump, that’s eight. So, in reality, they’re soulmates, meant for each other. And together, they’re mapping out an economic recovery for the country. That should fill our hearts brimming with confidence.

But the real backstory here is the WWE. Somehow, as most businesses were being shut down by the coronavirus, WWE was declared an “essential” business by the state of Florida on the same day (April 9) that Trump’s super PAC, America First Action, pledged to spend $18.5 MILLION in Florida.

Of all the “essential” businesses, grocery stores, pharmacies, police and fire departments, sanitation workers, restaurants, doctors’ offices and a few others come immediately to mind. WWE doesn’t enter into the equation—ever.

As a result of that “essential” determination by Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis who otherwise issued a statewide stay-at-home order, which we’re sure was only coincidental to the Trump pledge, WWE was given the go-ahead to hold live WrestleMania matches absent, of course, the ringside lunatic crowds screaming their approval of hideously bad acting.

McMahon’s wife, LINDA McMAHON, chairs Trump’s America First Action super PAC.

Like those cheesy TV commercials say, but wait. There’s more.

Before she took over America First Action, Linda McMahon served as head of Trump’s SMALL BUSINESS ADMINISTRATION from February 2017 until April 2019.

So, there you have it: Trump calling on a circus barker who appeals to our baser instincts with cheap theatrics by having macho types bang chairs over each other’s heads to serve as an economic adviser while his wife serves first on Trump’s cabinet and then as head of his super PAC.

If that doesn’t underscore the absurdity of this administration, nothing ever will.

If that doesn’t illustrate in no uncertain terms that Donald Trump cannot possibly be taken seriously as a leader of, say, Shongaloo, Louisiana, much less the free world, then we are in far deeper trouble than ever imagined.

It’s Larry, Moe and Curly starring in Saving Private Ryan.

“Without one chamber participating in this improper scheme, this action would be unconstitutional. The president has no general, unilateral power to adjourn Congress.”

—Rep. Justin Amash (I-Mich.), on Donald Trump’s threat Wednesday to try to force Congress to adjourn so he could make appointments without Senate approval, the second time this week that he has claimed “total authority.”

“Dissolving an assembly comes out of a dictator’s handbook. That’s banana republic stuff.”

—Rep. Jamie Raskin (D-Md.), a member of the House Judiciary Committee, on Trump’s threat. 

“The President made an unprecedented power grab by placing political allies at a powerful federal agency while the Senate was meeting regularly and without even bothering to wait for its advice and consent. A unanimous Supreme Court has rejected this brazen power-grab.”

—Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.), following the Supreme Court’s rejection of President Obama’s 2012 recess appointment to the National Labor Relations Board. [Now, who’d a-thunk the Orange Cheeto would try to emulate the man he so detests? Can you say irony? Kinda puts Moscow Mitch behind the eight-ball.]

“I am almost positive James Madison fell off a cloud somewhere today when Trump said that. The founders of the republic stitched together a complicated game of chess to ensure our president was a very weak king who could be simultaneously slowed down by the legislature, judiciary and federalism. His authority is far from total.”

—Republican donor Dan Eberhart, on Trump’s absurd claim on Monday that he had “total authority.” [Now, if the legislature, i.e. Congress, and the judiciary would only live up to their responsibilities to provide checks and balances…]

“The reality is that the WHO failed to adequately obtain, vet and share information in a timely and transparent fashion.”

—Donald Trump, in explaining Tuesday why he was withholding funding for the World Health Organization. [No explanation was forthcoming as to why Trump downplayed the severity of the coronavirus for at least six weeks, even going to far as to call it a Democratic “hoax” aimed at hurting his presidency—with Rush Limbaugh cheering him on. Oh, let’s not let Loudmouth Limbaugh off the hook on this.]

“In fact, we expect the first checks to be in the mail early next week.”

—Treasury representative, on when the first stimulus checks will be going out. [That sounds familiar, along with something about still respecting you in the morning.]

“When somebody is the president of the United States, the authority is total.”

—Donald Trump, at Monday’s coronavirus update [No, Mr. Trump, you are as wrong as a monkey in a mortuary. We’re not living under a totalitarianism system….yet.]

“You said when someone is president of the United States, their authority is total. That is not true. Who told you that?”

—CNN’s Kaitlan Collins, in a follow-up to that nonsense.

“Enough.”

—Donald Trump, cutting Collins off as he always does when he feels the heat of his untruths.