Louisiana Voice

Not that I believe for one second that any of LouisianaVoice’s readers are dumb enough to fall for this (it’s obviously intended for the MAGA types who believe President Inepstein’s endless lies, embellishments and fantasies), but I thought I’d pass this along to share the clumsy attempt at the newest scam to hit cyberspace.

The message below appeared in my text messages today. It is the second attempt–perhaps by the same clowns who also informed me of outstanding warrants and that I was subject to immediate arrest if I didn’t pay up (I didn’t, so I hope someone out there will bail me out of the clinker before cellmate Bubba takes a shine to me).

There are numerous telltale signs that this message was generated by a non-American who is unfamiliar with how things are done in this country. Number one, he alludes to investigations by the FBI, CIA and “other” security agencies. Those who know, are aware that the CIA is forbidden to conduct any kind of domestic operation (not that they adhere to that prohibition, but no official is going to openly admit as much). And why would the World Bank be involved in payouts to American citizens by the U.S. government? It’s also something of a stretch to think that Secretary of State Marco Rubio would involve himself in such a project. Finally, do you really think a Visa card would be issued to you in the amount of $1.5 million?

Anyway, here is the letter for your amusement. I understand FanDuel and DraftKings are giving odds on how many MAGAs will fall for this latest online scam. So, get your bets in early because someone in a red cap is almost certain to get sucked in.

Here’s the letter, ostensibly from Kash Patel:

Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI)

Counter-terrorism Division and Cyber Crime Division

J. Edgar. Hoover Building Washington DC.

Dear Beneficiary

Your ATM Visa Card Will Be Shipped Through USPS To Your Address. I am Kash Patel, This is to inform you officially that after our investigations with the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI), Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) and other Security Agencies in the Country for the year 2026, we discovered that you have not yet received your over due fund.

I have made it my first point of call since taking office to settle all Outstanding Payments accrued to Individuals or Corporations with respect to local and overseas contract payment, Debt Rescheduling and Outstanding Compensation payment.

This is to make sure all Outstanding payments are settled this fiscal year 2026. On behalf of the entire staff of the UNITED STATES DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE and the FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION(FBI) in collaboration with WORLD BANK, we apologize for the delay of your contract payment,Lottery Winnings or Inheritance funds from most of African Countries and all the inconveniences you encountered while pursuing this payment. However, from the records of outstanding beneficiaries due for payment with the U.S SECRETARY OF STATE, your name was discovered as next on the list of the outstanding payment who has not yet received their payments.

Note that from the record in my file, your outstanding compensation payment is $1,150,000.00 USD (One Million, One Hundred And Fifty Thousand United States Dollars) loaded in an ATM Visa Card that allows you to make a daily maximum withdrawal limit of Five Thousand Dollars($5,000).

Note that your loaded ATM Visa Card will be mailed to you through Priority Mail Express (USPS) to your designated address immediately you admit full compliance to this email. Due to my busy schedules, you are advised to kindly get in contact with our correspondent Barrister Matt Benson with the below details enclosed to help ensure safe mailing of your ATM Visa Card:

Your Full Name:

Your Contact House Address:

Name of City of Residence:

Country of Residence:

Direct Mobile Telephone Number:

ID Card, DL or Passport Copy:

Age and Occupation:

Contact Barrister Matt Benson immediately by emailing the address below:

Name:  Barrister Matt Benson

Email:  bar.mattbenson@hotmail.com

He is obliged to treat your case with utmost urgency as soon as you contact him and fill out your correct details including all reachable phone numbers for him to get in touch with you via phone and email.

NOTE: Every documentation proof for your fund have been packaged and sealed to be mailed together with your Visa Card to your address. Therefore, the only obligation required of you by the laws of the Government of United States and the financial Monetary Policy of the Supreme Court, states that; you as a bonafide beneficiary must officially obtain the irrevocable LEGAL STAY OF PROCEED from the Supreme Court of USA, as a means to justify the legitimacy, transparency and clean bill of funds from USA so that by the time your funds gets to you, no authority will question the funds as it has been legally certified free from all financial Malpractices and facets. The LEGAL STAY OF PROCEED is valued at a cost of ($320) please take note of that.

As soon as the above mentioned $320 is received, The LEGAL STAY OF PROCEED will be secured on your behalf immediately. I need all the compliance that I can get from you to ensure we get this project accomplished. Personally, I am very sorry for the delay you must have gone through in the past years. Thanks for adhering to this instructions which are meant for your sole benefit, once again accept my congratulations in advance.

Thanks for your cooperation as your quick response to this email notice with adherence to the above instructions is highly anticipated.

Yours Sincerely,

KASH PATEL

FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION

UNITED STATES DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE

WASHINGTON, D.C. 20535

Today is the official beginning of our twice-annual fundraiser so we can keep bringing you stories like the one below.

We at LouisianaVoice are fully aware of the implications of inflation caused by an ill-advised war that has no real end in sight and we understand that when things get tight, we are forced to make sacrifices. With that in mind, we would never ask you to support this blogpost monetarily if doing so were beyond your affordability. So, if it’s too much for you at this time, by all means, hold off on your support. We understand.

Likewise, if you have to make a choice between helping LouisianaVoice or your local food bank, please contribute to the food bank; they desperately need help.

BUT…if you do like what we do and you would like to and are able to help, all contributions are appreciated and we welcome your assistance.

LouisianaVoice does not accept advertising (other than Cavalier House Books) and we do not have a paywall because we want our stories to be available to all. But our costs, like everyone else’s, are up, too and we do wish to keep bringing stories to you no one else reports.

So, if you are so inclined, please CLICK HERE and scroll down to the YELLOW DONATE button to the right of this post and follow the instructions to make a one-time contribution by credit card. Or you may mail a check to me, Tom Aswell, at 107 North College Street West, Denham Springs, Louisiana 70726.

Everyone making a single contribution of $50 or more will receive a signed copy of my new book, The Dinosaur Club, a book about a klatch of about a dozen or so retired, octogenarian newspaper reporters calling themselves The Dinosaurs, who meet once monthly for lunch and who briefly come out of retirement to try and bring down a child sex trafficking ring.

As always, your help in keeping us going is appreciated more than I could ever express.

I know nothing about Democrats Lauren Jewett or James “Jim” Long, both of Metairie, or Republican Randal Arrington, of Ponchatoula other than all three are seeking to unseat Steve “KKK” Scalise in Louisiana’s 1^st Congressional District.

Arrington and Scalise will face off in the Republican Primary on May 16 and Jewett and Long will vie for the Democratic nomination that same date.

And while I must plead ignorance on the qualifications of the three challengers, here’s what I do know about Scalise:

He spoke at a Jefferson Parish event backed by David Duke.

He told reporter Stephanie Grace that he was “David Duke without the baggage.” (What the hell does that mean, anyway? If you’re affiliated or identified with Duke in any manner, you’ve got baggage.)

Scalise is the House Majority Leader for the Repugnantcans who at this very moment are considering cutting ANOTHER $30 BILLION from healthcare funding and to bounce another 300,000 Americans off their health insurance.

And for what?

Well, it seems that President Ineptstein needs the money to fund his illegal war that he launched arbitrarily against Iran and in which he now finds he is stuck to like the proverbial tar baby. If you’re wondering, that would be his version of “America First.”

It’s pretty puzzling how we’re able to find money for waging an unconstitutional war, for funding other questionable projects or for giving huge tax breaks for corporations and lucrative contracts to family members but when it comes to helping American in need, there just ain’t enough money available.

Unsaid by the mainstream media is the fact that the First Grifter family has profiteered handsomely off the war what with contracts going to Junior’s drone company—not to mention the obvious insider trading by those close to him who just happen to make lucrative stock deals just before a major military operation is announced.

Remember, Ineptstein made a campaign pledge to cut the cost of gasoline by half if America was foolish enough to elect him in 2024. It did and the result thus far has been an increase in the cost of gasoline of about 28 percent, or somewhere north of $4 a gallon. America First.

And don’t forget for one nano-second that Scalise is a big part of this mess of soaring food costs, gasoline prices, another endless Mideast war, job market uncertainty and stock market fluctuations.

Meanwhile, Ineptstein continues to play golf while American military personnel die because of his idiocy. So far in his first year of this term, he has cost the U.S. $100 million for his golf outings (that includes transportation to Mar-a-Lago, salaries, housing, meals, etc. for Secret Service personnel). Cankle Ankles sees no problem with spending $400 million on his ballroom and he insists we need an Archway with his name emblazoned on it at the entrance to the Beltway.

For better or worse—mostly much, much worse—Mr. Scalise is a big part of all this, even if he is a peripheral player. It matters not. Ethics are ethics and if he stands idly by as a spectator to the abuses of President Ineptstein, then he is every bit as guilty of betraying his oath of office and unfit to serve in the People’s House.

Yet…and yet, I must admit that I have zero confidence in the voters of the 1^st District—or any other red district in Louisiana—to comprehend the threat to this country that most of the Repugnantcans in Congress present to the liberties that we have enjoyed for 250 years.

All I can say at this point is good luck on the next 250.

Far too much attention has been given House Bill 221 by State Rep. Michael Echols (R-Monroe) who is running hard to overcome Mar-A-Lardo’s endorsement of State Sen. Blake Miguez (R-New Iberia) in hopes of succeeding Day Trader Julia Letlow, who is seeking to unseat Bill Cassidy for Cassidy’s U.S. Senate seat. Got that? Good. Let’s move on.

HB 221 is Echols’s effort to out-Trump Miguez while also hammering home the carpetbagger theme by pointing out Miguez lives about 100 miles outside House District 2 in which he, along with Echols, Sen. Rick Edmonds of Baton Rouge and Board of Regents member Misti Cordell, is running.

The bill seeks to name the proposed new bridge over the Mississippi River in Baton Rouge after Trump, aka TACO Don, aka Dementia Don, aka Cankle Ankles, aka Mar-a-Lardo. Which of those names is Echols proposing? Some observers even question if the name Yam Tits Bridge will catch on with the public, however. But all that speculation hasn’t deterred Echols—or 67 other members of the House.

The bill has zipped through committee and passed the house by a disheartening 68-26 vote, with nine members taking a walk. To see how your representative voted, CLICK HERE. It now goes to the Senate for consideration. Should it pass the Senate, it’s a lead-pipe cinch that Gov. Squeaky Toy will sign it into law.

Every session, there are benign bills introduced to name stretches of highway and bridges after local dignitaries and generally speaking, most pass without so much as a whimper of protest of negative vote.

But this year could be different.

That’s because not to be outshone as a full-blown Trumpster, another legislator has upped the ante by introducing House Bill 8647 which calls for name changes to several bridges to honor the legacies of several of the state’s own former icons of the Jim Crow era.

One of those is the I-20 bridge over the Red River connecting Bossier City and Shreveport, which may soon bear the name of staunch segregationist WILLIE RAINACH. Under the bill filed by Rep. Dogmatizer P. Jingoist (R-Zealoton). You remember Willie Rainach, right? He ran for governor in 1959, finishing third behind New Orleans Mayor deLesseps Morrison and Jimmie Davis (Davis won the runoff against Morrison). Rainach was the status-quo candidate of the Southern aristocrat wannabes. He ran on the single so-called states’ rights issue of keeping Blacks in their place, wherever that supposed “place” might have been.

Willie Rainach

About a hundred miles to the east, Monroe’s Louisville Street bridge will be renamed under Jingoist’s bill to the Richard Nixon Watergate Memorial Bridge.

The name of the John James Audubon Bridge in St. Francisville would be changed to the JOHN RARICK Memorial Bridge. Rarick was an outspoken white supremacist former judge and U.S. representative from St. Francisville who opposed any legislation beneficial to Blacks or that advanced the cause of civil rights—and who wasn’t shy about saying so.

John Rarick

The Crescent City Connection linking New Orleans with the West Bank of the Mississippi River will henceforth be known as the LEANDER PEREZ CONNECTION under Jingoist’s bill.

Leander Perez, aka Boss Hogg of Plaquemines Parish

The footbridge over the scenic Tickfaw River in Livingston Parish will for now and evermore be known as The DAVID DUKE BRIDGE TO NOWHERE should Jingoist’s bill become law. Duke, who ran unsuccessful races for U.S. Senate and Louisiana governor (forcing Edwin Edwards into a runoff in 1991) was known as one who pursued the perfect political trifecta of money, women and power through his neo-Nazi fundraising activities.

David Duke and his footbridge

Finally, as a bent-knee gesture to Trump, Jingoist’s bill would erase the name of the Sunshine Bridge near Donaldsonville in favor of a more appropriate name for the state and national Repugnantcan Party.

“Sunshine is anathema to all that we stand for,” he said. “That is why I want the Sunshine Bridge’s name expunged from history and replaced by the more administration-friendly name of the STEPHEN MILLER BRIDGE TO OPAQUENESS.”

Puppeteer Stephen Miller

“HB 8647 is the sincerest way to pay homage to the heroes of white supremacy and the principle of States Rights,” Jingoist said. “God, I miss Jim Crow.”

.

Tomorrow marks the beginning of our twice-annual fundraiser so we can keep the unique stories of Louisiana and national politics that you’ll find nowhere else coming.

LouisianaVoice does this in April and October, which are not particularly good months being as how one is during federal income tax time and the other is the lead-up to Thanksgiving and Christmas. Nor are we oblivious to the fact that people are struggling. Cadet Bone Spurs’ war has sent the price of gasoline, food and everything else under the sun skyrocketing with no end in sight.

Accordingly, we are quick to say that unlike the televangelists who will beg and plead for your last dollar with the false promise of financial deliverance, we are not asking you to sacrifice. If you cannot reasonably afford to help us, then by all means, do not do so—and no apology necessary; it’s your money, so we have no right to tell you how it should be used.

BUT…if you do like what we do and you would like to and are able to help, all contributions are appreciated and we welcome your assistance.

LouisianaVoice does not accept advertising (other than Cavalier House Books) and we do not have a paywall because we want our stories to be available to all. But our costs, like everyone else’s, are up, too and we do wish to keep bringing stories to you no one else reports.

So, if you are so inclined, please click HERE and scroll down to the YELLOW DONATE button to the right of this post and follow the instructions to make a one-time contribution by credit card. Or you may mail a check to me, Tom Aswell, at 107 North College Street West, Denham Springs, Louisiana 70726.

The one making the largest single contribution will win a signed copy of my new book, The Dinosaur Club, a book about a klatch of 80-something retired newspaper reporters who call themselves The Dinosaurs, who meet once monthly for lunch and who briefly come out of retirement to try and bring down a child sex trafficking ring.

Nope. Don’t want to do it that way. Let’s try it this way:

Everyone making a single contribution of $50 or more will receive a signed copy of my new book, The Dinosaur Club, a book about a klatch of about a dozen or so retired, octogenarian newspaper reporters calling themselves The Dinosaurs, who meet once monthly for lunch and who briefly come out of retirement to try and bring down a child sex trafficking ring.

This is the cover of the book:

As always, your help in keeping us going is appreciated more than I could ever express.