It’s almost so surreal that the entire episode becomes hilarious.
Except it’s not funny at all.
If it wasn’t the leader of an entire nation and his whack-o U.S. attorney causing the scene, it might be funny, but it isn’t.
If the whole affair wasn’t a national embarrassment, it might be funny, but it wasn’t and it isn’t.
If this was a SNL skit or a John Oliver monologue (and it probably will be before long), it would be funny, but it isn’t.
If it wasn’t a total waste of some $16 million (against an initial cost estimate of $1.5 million to $2 million), it would be humorous, but it’s not.
If this had not attacked and damaged the reputation of a patriotic American, it might be funny, but there’s nothing—absolutely nothing—funny about a false arrest.
If some TV writer had written a sitcom pilot with a plot this absurd, it would have never made it to prime time; it’s that bad.
After holding a high-profile press conference in which she said with such conviction that the Reflecting Pool was damaged by David Hearn’s “forcefully and violently pulling at the pool’s liner and destroying it,” U.S. Attorney for the District of Columbia Jeanine Pirro ate a ton of crow that had to have a bitter taste when she abruptly dropped all charges against Hearn.
That, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, is the Trump administration in a nutshell.
To begin with, Pirro treated the entire event as if it were the Linberg kidnapping, the Brinks robbery, the JFK assassination and D.B. Cooper all rolled into one big crime spree. In her press conference, she had all the intensity and earnestness of Elliot Ness in hot pursuit of Al Capone.
And, of course, there was Trump insisting that some unpatriotic vandal had taken a box cutter and sliced a 350-foot gash in the liner. He neglected to explain how such a devious act went unseen despite 24-hour camera surveillance of the entire pool.
On Friday, typical of elected officials when there’s embarrassing news, opted for a Friday evening news dump—a time when most Capitol reporters have headed out of town for the weekend and there’s little actual coverage of non-catastrophic events, Pirro moved to dismiss the indictment against Hearn, admitting in the court filing that the damage to the sealant was caused by “flawed installation.”
She said her office had received information and evidence that “significantly undermine the evidentiary basis for the indictment.” That’s a far cry from her initial pronouncement that there was “no doubt” Hearn had single-handedly destroyed a national landmark with his fingers which, by no means, resemble a box cutter.
Trump, as is his wont, absolutely blew a gasket. He flew into a rage at Pirro, saying he disagreed “100 percent with Jeanine Pirro…I don’t know what she was thinking. To me, it was a pure case of VANDALISM (El Trump-o loves banging out his messages on Truth Social in all caps).”
Pirro, however, stuck to her guns, blaming in typical Trumpian style, the Interior Department.
Hell, everybody in that group of crazies has to blame someone else. No blame for employing off half-cocked, looney-tune accusations with no supporting evidence in order to obtain a shamefully illegitimate indictment of an innocent person.
It goes all the way back to 1989 when he took on the so-called Central Park Five (now known as the Exonerated Five) who were wrongfully convicted of raping a woman jogging in New York City. Even though they were eventually exonerated, Trump never once admitted he was wrong about them; he even took out a full-page ad in four major New York newspapers in which he screamed in his usual all-caps, “BRING BACK THE DEATH PENALTY. BRING BACK OUR POLICE!”
Like everything else Trump does, that, too, was not funny.
What should transpire now is that Hearn should file a multi-million-dollar defamation lawsuit against Trump and Pirro and ask that the trial be held at the foot of the Lincoln Memorial, adjacent to the Reflecting Pool.
Now that would be funny.
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It is almost certain Pirro falsified evidence or violated several legal standards in getting a grand jury indictment. Or both. But the real villain is always Trump. Despite knowing the evidence presented was insufficient Trump still wants an innocent American citizen prosecuted for a non-crime. So that can blame someone for his inept corruption, and to salve his perpetually bruised and pathetically fragile ego. That’s the kind of man 77 million fascist Americans think should be president.
Apparently Trump’s destruction of the East Wing, the rose garden, and now his faulty “fixing” of the reflecting pool, is not considered destruction of a national monument or emblems of America. What this administration blatantly did to Mr. Hearn is despicable and criminal.
Thanks and agree with Mr. Spillman. Again, HONORABLECOMMONDEFENCE, via the Constitution, just not sure we can educate the fascists with 1 midterm but we can try.
After reading Andy Borowitz’s PROFILES in IGNORANCE, I tried to convince myself to stop ranting about DJT and, hopefully, this will be the last one. Why stop? Because only people who make it past the first sentence or two of anything I post care. Those of us who care are all seeing and saying the same things and we are being ignored repeatedly. It’s good to know we agree, but unless we can convince enough like-minded people to actually VOTE, we are accomplishing nothing. And most like-minded people are as informed as we are.
As I’ve said before, I blame DJT’s enablers much more than I blame him. He is, and would seem to have always been, a pitiful excuse for a decent human being and they allow him to exercise power over us all – that, my friends is inexcusable. I do have a few friends who support him and the only way we can be friends is if we studiously avoid any mention of DJT. It clearly should not be this way.
Anybody with a working brain should have known the former Olympic athlete who simply picked up a piece of the peeling coating to look at it did not do the things DJT, backed vehemently by Pirro, accused him of. The charges never made sense. Just as they have done with others, DJT and his cronies, made every attempt to vilify a person who should be considered a hero with absolute fabrications and easily disproven lies. And, there’s the rub – to enablers and supporters of DJT it is perfectly okay to lie if it suits your purpose. DJT lies about the war in Iran, rampant election fraud, and numerous other things in a shameless attempt to focus all attention on himself as the presumed font of all truth with no regard to the people he is hurting (and via a senseless war, killing).
Now Pirro has backed off. Should we make her a hero for doing so? Of course not. After making her spurious charges she could not deny the evidence disputing them and only ultimately did so in an attempt to protect herself. The only surprising thing about that is it made clear DJT was also lying. Has he ever admitted lying about anything? Of course not.
Let me also remind those of you who bothered to read this that the MSM, intimidated by our national bully, report on what’s happening as if it is normal. If it is, it is the epitome of the SNAFU for which all of us who don’t bother to even go to the polls are responsible. END OF RANT and, hopefully, most future ones.
I don’t think we’ll have to endure this much longer. All of Trump’s pots are going to boil over after the midterms. Either the flames will be extinguished or the kitchen will burn down.
Agree with all of you. I just read about the latest assault on Alaska to rape the oil fields. Along with the raping of all our national parks, I just wonder what is going to be left of our country when these crooks are gone.