Louisiana Voice

This is going to be interesting to watch.

Just when you thought Pervert Hoover, aka Diaper Don, aka Cheeto Jesus, had finally abandoned his obsession with Greenland, the joke of a president is back to plotting control of the Danish territory and he’s employing the diplomatic prowess of Louisiana’s equally absurd governor to accomplish his goal.

What Jeff Landry apparently does not realize is that in true Trumpian tradition, he is setting up someone else to take the fall of the efforts crater. He did it with Mike Pence, he did it with Pam Bondi, he did it with Kristi Noem and he’s currently doing it with J.D. Vance and the negotiations with Iran.

The Baton Rouge Advocate today featured a story that Landry had put forth five recommendations on how the U.S. should approach its relationship with Greenland.

This coming from a guy who is likely to be a one-termer in his home state and who in May SWOOPED UNINVITED into the capital city of Nuuk and ended up getting all pissy with the media while at the same time dissing the country as a whole.

“Let me tell you what I’ve found, he told reporters. “Greenland was not on the map until Donald Trump put it on the map. In other words, the United States…before Donald Trump has basically ignored this place.”

Not exactly out of the Dale Carnegie playbook. But Gov. Squeaky Toy wasn’t finished.

In a role reversal, he asked the media, “When’s the last time that any high-level diplomats came to Greenland, whether it’s from Europe or not, before Donald Trump?” We can only assume that was a rhetorical question.

No matter. Like any capable lawyer (which he purports to be) knows, you don’t ask a question to which you don’t already know the answer. Well…most lawyers, anyway. Turns out, U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry did, in fact, visit Greenland—by invitation, at that—in 2016.

When asked why he popped in uninvited, Squeaky Toy sniffed, “If you showed up in Louisiana, I’m not gonna throw you out because you weren’t invited” (except for out-of-staters who submit public records request; Landry attempted to pass a law allowing state officials to refuse such requests from non-Louisiana citizens).

Diplomat Landry FOLLOWED THAT UP with a couple of revealing utterances that sounded eerily as if they were coming from Darth TaxeVader his own self. Jabberoski Jeff, in a podcast, said TACO Don “has not forgotten” about the objective to take over the Danish territory. Trump, he said, told him the U.S. could “bring them right into the fold with “some little things.”

Thos “little things,” Landry said, included sending more military personnel and opening up more trade. “’We need to get Greenland,’” Landry quoted old Smelly Britches as saying. “…[T]hat place is unbelievably important to us,” Landry said. “I mean, it’s a great place, so we’re gonna get it.”

“So we’re gonna get it.” That should raise the hackles of the Danes and Greenlanders. “We’re gonna get it.” Let that sink in.

With that smooth approach, Landry suggested to Boss Tweet, according to The Advocate, that Don Corleporn;

• Establish direct shipping routes between the two countries;
• Assume a larger U.S. diplomatic presence in Greenland;
• Augment the U.S. military presence there and to approve Denmark’s participation in the U.S. Department of Defense’s (or would that be the Department of War?) state partnership program which ties the National Guard in various states in with military forces in participating countries;
• Establish a joint investment fund between the U.S. and Greenland, and
• Expand diplomacy exchanges between the two countries.

It’s the third and fourth recommendations that trouble me—and it should you.

A stepped-up military presence could mean only one thing to Greenlanders: the existence of an ever-looming threat of a unilateral declaration of martial law and a perpetual military threat.

As for a joint investment between the U.S. and Greenland, does anyone anywhere at any time know of any investment “opportunity” involving Donald J. Trump that did not directly benefit Trump—to the detriment of “investors”?