so·cial·ism
noun
- a political and economic theory of social organization which advocates that the means of production, distribution, and exchange should be owned or regulated by the community as a whole.
It is perhaps the most misunderstood word in the English language.
But just to set the record straight, I am not a Socialist, nor am I a Socialist Democrat as I have been labeled. Again, those terms have been applied to me by people who have no concept of the meaning of the words. They most likely slept through their high school civics classes.
But as an experiment, I recently embarked on a hypothetical trip around town along with my Republican friend, John Wayne Billy Bob Culpepper to see what socialist programs might be eliminated in the interest of preserving what my friends calls the “Murican way.”
Our first stop was the public library. “That’s gotta go,” said JWBBC. “Who the hell ever heard of the guvmint lending out free books for folks to read?
Well, I said, it’s been going on a long time. “Don’t care,” he shot back. “It’s socialism. Any fool can see that.
As we left, we fell into traffic behind a garbage truck. “Now that’s free enterprise as it should be,” he said.
“Who do you think pays for it?” I asked. “Garbage pickup is paid for with tax dollars, which makes it a social program.”
Before he could respond, my car hit a deep pothole. “Damn!” JWBBC grunted. “They oughta fix that.”
“You do know, don’t you, that street construction and repairs are part of our infrastructure that’s financed with tax dollars, making it another social program.”
About that time, a police car sped past going the opposite direction, lights flashing and siren wailing. It was followed quickly by a fire truck and an ambulance. “Looks like there’s been a traffic accident,” my friend said.
“Yup, gonna need the police to control traffic and the fire truck in case of a potential fuel leak,” I said. “Of course, police and fire protection are provided by the government with tax dollars. Don’t know what we’d do without ‘em. Probably be anarchy in the streets.
“Do you like football, John Wayne?” I asked absently.
“Hell, yeah. Who doesn’t? Can’t wait for LSU and the Saints to crank up.”
“Well, you are aware that LSU is a public university operated by taxpayer dollars, student tuition and any number of federal and private grants, aren’t you?
“So what?”
“My point is that LSU and every other public university – and public elementary and high schools, for that matter – are all supported by taxpayer dollars. Public education is a social program in every sense of the word.”
“Well, at least the NFL is privately owned.”
“Except for the Green Bay Packers, who are publicly-owned. And how do you think the Saints’ home, the Superdome, was financed? Even the stadiums privately owned, like AT&T Stadium where the Dallas Cowboys play, received all sorts of tax concessions from Dallas County and the State of Texas.
“What you call socialism when individuals receive governmental benefits is called economic development when corporations receive them but in reality, it’s the same thing, no matter the recipient.”
“When’s the hurricane supposed to hit?” asked JWBBC, apparently making a feeble effort to change the subject.
“Why don’t you log onto the National Weather Service? They have all the latest updates. And oh, by the way, that’s another government program supported by tax revenue.”
I could see he was getting irritated at my constantly pointing out all those socialist programs, so I decided to end with a flourish.
“John Wayne, in case you weren’t aware, all this socialism nonsense goes back nearly a hundred years. FDR instituted a host of federal programs that helped pull us out of Hoover’s Great Depression by giving work to unemployed Americans.
“Those unemployed people went to work and built stadiums, university buildings, museums, post offices and public schools. My alma mater, Ruston High School, is one of those. Updates to the Audubon Zoo and the French Market in New Orleans were part of those socialist programs.
“Big Charity Hospital in New Orleans, where Sen. Bill Cassidy and former Rep. Charles Boustany, Jr., learned to be physicians, were part of FDR’s socialist experiment. Malaria was eradicated in New Orleans the same way. (Here’s a link to a comprehensive list of Louisiana projects financed by FDR’s SOCIALISM.”
To drive my point home, I pointed out to John Wayne that he would be eligible for social security and Medicare in a couple of years. “You gonna forfeit those benefits because they’re socialist?” I asked.
I could see I’d crossed a line as his face reddened. “You know,” he finally said, “Those guys L. Frost and Outlaw who always call you stupid and a socialist are right. You ain’t a Murican patriot at all. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to get on back home. It’s time for my treatment of ivermectin.”
Louisiana Voice 
I think Republican consultants figured that if they can take perfectly good words and criminalize them (give them definitions that they don’t like), they can brainwash their followers into believing the “white is black” and “black is white”, etc. Sadly…..it works…look what they were able to do with Benghazi…Therein lies our problem….
Just ask anybody who suffered socialistic opression!
You mean all those folks on Social Security and Medicare? Everyone (including you) who has garbage pickup, police and fire protection, public roads to travel on, are tied into municipal sewer and water systems, folks who got their first electricity out in the country via electric cooperatives that are now bring highspeed internet to those same areas? Are those the socialistic programs you’re talking about?
Did you even read the social programs we have in this country that would fall under your definition of socialism?
No, you probably did not read it since you can’t even define socialism or spell oppression.
Perfect story! And let’s remember all the “socialist” programs that will be out and about helping during and after this hurricane. I pray for everyone’s safety!
I’m opposed to all these Socialist programs I read about on the internet. Oh wait! The internet was developed and funded by the “guvment!” Dang! That makes the internet a socialist program too. Well, I still ain’t gonna read no radical left liberal newspaper. They’s all “commonist.” All I need to know I can learn from watching Fox News commentators like Hannity, Ingram, Carlson, and experts they have on their shows like midget-brain Scalise and “foghorn leghorn” Senator Kennedy.
Great Article and I agree with Ms Edith, and yes Benghazi was a bonanza for the Repugs. Jindal using lies about the LSU report of economic development, ie, why corporations want to come here, egads he lied that they wanted ethics and campaign reform. And even more ridiculous, he learned a religious term, I will call you down, if you oppose me. Once he got the right wing hooked for the money(donations for their 501s), you get preachers preaching socialism leads to communism, funds flowed to the anti-abortion lobby to create a system of socialism to make the govmint do what the parents/churches could not do, keep the little girls virgins and in the house doing “home” things. This is nothing new and sadly, yes it hurts a lot of people world wide. But there is always hope, dam lost my thought pattern…..ron thompson
I read Jindal is now Trump’s new Health Czar. Must be for Trump’s alternate government. I mean, Jindal did such a good job here, right? Uh huh…
Great points, Mr. Thompson
Many of the people I hear spouting things about socialism don’t know the difference between it and:
com·mu·nism
/ˈkämyəˌnizəm/
noun
a political theory derived from Karl Marx, advocating class war and leading to a society in which all property is publicly owned and each person works and is paid according to their abilities and needs.
And many of them don’t realize the class war they so wish to see is part and parcel of communism, not socialism.
On the other hand, many people don’t really give a sh*t about facts and prefer to simply eat the sh*t they are fed daily by their beloved right wing media, their friends, and maybe even their very own pastors, as you say.