“We want to make this year President Trump’s BEST BIRTHDAY EVER.”
—Text sent out by Trump campaign website, which provided a form for people to fill out and upload clips. The campaign promised to show Trump “the first 500 responses TONIGHT.” [What could go wrong?]
“It’s going to be really miserable for you until November.”
—Actor Ron Delaney response.
“You’re probably too busy to celebrate. You’ve got television to work, tweets to write, protesters to gas, intelligence reports to ignore, pandemic responses to (screw) up.”
—Actor Michael Ian Black response.
“My birthday is also June 14 and I invite you to send your selfie videos of you furious and screaming in your SUV to me instead.”
—Irate American who shares the same birthday.
“I weep to share this vile man’s birthday.”
—Rabia O’Chaundry response.
Everything, and I mean EVERYTHING about this administration astounds me every day.
—Antonio Javier response.
Louisiana Voice 
Mr. President, I hope you don’t mind, but I will delay celebrating until November 4, 2020. And everyday after that.
I’m sorry Mr. President, but you misunderstood. I meant my delayed celebration would be for your departure. Not your birthday.
Since there are no positives reported, I feel it is incumbent on me to speak up for Jim and the others who hate us for not worshiping Trump, to wit:
“Happy Birthday, Mr. President. As I write this I see Marilyn Monroe singing the birthday song to JFK and think how lovely it would be if Stormy would sing it for you, but I am sure Ivanka will do so, though.
“Thank you for making America great again, Mr. President. It is past time to put the loser whiners in this country in their places and you are doing the best job you can doing so.
“Thank you also for standing up for those of us who are tired of supporting those riding the wagons when they should be pulling them.
“I really liked the image of you holding up the Good Book in front of that Whiskeypalian Church you would never set foot in. I know you are a Christian and many evangelicals really like you, but I know you really believe in the wrath of God portrayed in the Old Testament and that was the point you were trying to make – and made successfully, with me.
“I also appreciate the usually worthless media for getting off the little flu thing going around, but which you handled magnificently, and getting on with the really important issue – beginning the second civil war – something this country has been needing for a long time. If the whiners can’t stop being treasonous and get on the Trump train, we need to mow them down. Maybe, once we do enough of them, they rest will start to emigrate back to the sh*thole countries they, or their ancestors,came from and we can get back to looking like Norway, except for the few native Americans we haven’t gotten rid of.
“Anyhow, if you need my help, I have every gun I’ve had since I was 6 – from my first BB gun through my fully automatic battle weapon. Once the war starts for real just tell me where to sign up. I’m glad you ran all those namby-pamby generals off and got an Attorney General who knows what side his Constitution is buttered on, so we can get down to the real work of keeping this country great.”
A. Pat Riot
Smoky Hollow
Well done, Stephen. You could’ve gone a little crazier, but you pretty much nailed it.
The best birthday present for the US would be trump leaving the People’s House for good. Maybe he knows someone in the real estate business who could get him a good birthday deal on a property where he would be welcome (Moscow comes to mind), since New York is full of those pesky demonstrators who are not enamored of him and Mar a Lago isn’t his home. According to the agreement trump signed with local government making Mar a Lago a private club/business, residency there is severely limited to just a few weeks a year, so his voter registration there is fraudulent, along with his mail in ballots. We hear he’s got lots of money, but don’t know for sure, but surely he has enough for a decent downpayment on a lil starter home with a modest monthly note. He once called the White House “a real dump” so he will probably look forward to new digs. Needed amenities include an underground bunker, perimeter wall and moat filled with alligators and snakes. No kitchen needed, the resident will send out for fast food. Ample servants’ quarters required for a large, heavily armed security force. Move in ready, please, the birthday is soon. If a suitable property cannot be found forthwith, the US may not be able to celebrate it’s own birthday, Independence Day, just a few weeks later.
June 14th is my brother’s birthday.I’ll share this on his behalf. After the ignoramus was elected I was riding the subway-we call it “the train” in NYC.
A woman-complete stranger came over. Sat next to me and put her head on my shoulder. Unexpected. I turned my head. Smelled alcohol. Sat her traveling companions across the car indicate-“he knows she’s been drinking.” She said I should leave New York because “there are too many people.” I suggested she try Central Park. At some point a male stepped over. Her spouse. Holding onto the pole for support himself. She left we engaged in a conversation. Apparently he was in law enforcement When the Ohio travelers (not Irish gypsies-but from Ohio) were disembarking around Rockefeller Center-the tree the ice rink etc. he asked me “What would you say to people who voted for Trump?”
I thought and said as a New Yorker “They’re in for a rude awakening” And added “But” and he turned toward me-“Remember we’re all in this together.”
Fist bump. Exit thinking. Well the chickens have come home to roost. The stuff has hit the fan. I want to add-“ignorance is its own form of narcissism.”
Keep an eye out for Gov. Don Siegelman’s book “Stealing Democracy” Published June 15th. Gov Siegelman-a Democrat could not be defeated in a fair Alabama election. In 2004 was considered as a presidential contender. Likely VP candidate from Deep South. Karl Rove, Jeff Session and cohorts took Don out of contention the only way they could. They lynched him through the courts. 113 then- and former- Attorneys General said it was an egregious miscarriage of justice. Don was convicted of something that had never been a crime. He provided true leadership in Alabama. He is providing true leadership in criminal justice reform for America.Read it and learn just how broken our criminal justice system can be. Corrupt Federal Judge, Federal Prosecutors, Witnesses. STEALING DEMOCRACY. June 15th. Read it and learn.