Editor’s note: The following is an actual release from a creative public information officer (or whomever) in the Walker Police Department, just a few miles down the road from my home in Denham Springs:
The Walker Police Department is asking for the public’s assistance in connection with an incident occurring Friday (May 1) in Walker. At approximately 4 p.m., Walker police were dispatched to a bank on Walker South Road (LA. 447 South) in response to a complaint of an aggressive chicken.
Although police reached the bank with(in) a couple of minutes of the call, the chicken apparently anticipated the imminent arrival of law enforcement and fled on foot from the scene.
According to the complaint, the chicken had been terrorizing bank customers all week, at both the walk-up ATM and the drive-thru. Bank officials told officers that the chicken chased customers, attempted to enter customers’ vehicles and on a number of occasions, failed to engage in proper social distancing.
Despite patrols of the area, including the kitchen of a nearby restaurant, the chicken could not be located.
Police are looking for a reddish-tan chicken, approximately 18 inches tall and 6-8 pounds in weight.
The chicken is wanted on charges of assault, attempted battery, attempted burglary, terrorizing and ignoring and order of the governor.
Given the chicken’s history of aggressive behavior, the public is urged to avoid confronting the fowl and to instead contact Walker police if seen.
And this, dear readers, is our nomination for creative story of the year.
Louisiana Voice 
Even to po-po need to have a little fun sometimes! And that was a notable headline there Foghorn (bet you didn’t know I remembered that).
Okay, the 71270 in the writer’s name above is the zip code for Ruston, where I’m from and I suspect I know who Capt. Jim is. At any rate, he knows me because of his reference to Foghorn, which was my radio name when I was a disc jockey at KRUS Radio in Ruston in another lifetime (back when Brenda Lee was considered hard rock). His “po-po” reference is to his career as a Ruston police officer. And Capt. Jim, I still remember that speeding ticket you gave me in my Karmann Ghia back in the 1970s.
Did I really write you a ticket??? I don’t remember that. I can’t believe you couldn’t talk me out of that.
I’ve never tried to talk my way out of a ticket. Busted is busted. Besides, being in a Karmann Ghia, I was kinda proud it would break the speed limit (lol). It was on West California when I was editor of the Daily Leader. I was living on Lakeview in Cypress Springs subdivision, right across the street from Gerald Cobb. I was on my way home for lunch.
For the record, folks, this captjim71270 is something of a hero. Long before he became a police officer and while still a student at Ruston High, he was directly responsible for the capture by Ruston police of a man wanted for murder in Dallas. The entire story’s in my book, Louisiana’s Rogue Sheriffs: A Culture of Corruption.
Oh, that’s hysterical!
Thanks for the humor, Tom!
Bet you wish you had the Karmann Ghia today – a collector car by today’s standards
Interesting about the Karmann Ghia – my neighbor, a woman whose 70th birthday is long past, drives a Karmann Ghia. She has other vehicles, but the Ghia, named Pearl, is immortal. I can hear that engine purring as it runs up the country lane and I know she’s headed for the city. That car was vintage when we moved here 35 years ago, and she’s still running like a dream.
Yes indeed, all three of them, along with my ’65 Mustang.