He’s back. And this time it’s personal.
In a LouisianaVoice exclusive, we have learned Bobby Jindal has chosen today to announce that after four years of what he describes as “top to bottom mismanagement” by Gov. John Bel Edwards, he is offering himself to the people of Louisiana for a third term as governor.
“It’s the only job I’ve ever wanted,” he said in making his formal announcement.
“I’m honored that by running this year and winning, President Donald Trump may run on my coattails in 2020,” he said. “It gives me a great feeling of accomplishment to be able to strengthen his campaign by leading the fight for right this year in Louisiana and by doing so, giving him the momentum necessary to win reelection.”
As expected, Jindal said that political consultant Timmy Teepell will head up his campaign.
Also serving as a consultant for the campaign will be MARIA BUTINA.
“Maria will be a terrific addition to our campaign,” Jindal said, adding, “She would be a great choice for Secretary of Economic Development. She would get that Russian FERTILIZER PLANT completed, either in Iberville or St. James Parish.”
Jindal also said State Rep. CAMERON HENRY (R-Metairie) would be an excellent choice for Commissioner of Administration and Sen. CONRAD APPEL (R-Metairie) would be “an outstanding Chief of Staff.”
Teepell said Jindal is still young enough to break the record of four terms as governor now held by Edwin Edwards.
“There’s a lot of work to be done yet,” said Teepell. “Only Jindal can reestablish policies of no taxes, more privatization, and more layoffs of lazy state employees.
“John Bel Edwards has tried to reverse all the progressive policies of the Jindal years and our job will be to reinstate those policies,” he said.
Teepell said Jindal’s first act would be to roll back any teacher pay raises that might be enacted this year and that he would continue to oppose equal pay for women.
He added that Jindal, as in his two terms in office, would continue to sell seats on influential boards and commissions—like the LSU Board of Supervisors, the Louisiana Board of Economic Development and the Louisiana Stadium and Exposition District (Superdome) Board—to major campaign contributors. “If he hadn’t packed the LSU Board, he never could have privatized the state’s charity hospital system,” he said.
“Bobby Jindal, just as he did during his two terms before, will continue to support stiffer penalties for petty crimes and continued privatization of prisons,” Teepell said. “And of course, he will continue to oppose health care for the poor and home health care for the elderly.”
Jindal said he was aware of his low approval rating during his second term, much of which was spent in an unsuccessful run for the Republican presidential nomination.
“My presidential run was only to enhance my non-profit foundation so I could use it to purchase more of my books,” Jindal said. “I never seriously wanted to be president. I already had the job I wanted and now I want it back.
“I believe sufficient time has passed for voters to forget all the undeserved negatives of my previous administration, especially the second term.
“Our private polling shows that 2 percent of Louisiana voters would vote for me in the 2019 governor’s race. We find that to be most encouraging because we’ve already doubled what we pulled in our strong presidential run in Iowa and it’s still early and I am enthusiastic about our strong support.
“As someone once said, ‘You can fool some the people all of the time,’ and those are the ones we’ll be concentrating on. That’s important in politics.”
Happy April, Tom!!
I wish I could find this funny, but I find Jindal no funnier than Trump.
I’m not fooled
This is a very disturbing April Fool’s Day joke, Tom! However, it would be appropriate for that dismantler to announce, if he were really running, on April 1st. Perhaps in his four years out of the Governor’s mansion he has improved his education to include tweeting. I’m sure the world awaits his words of wisdom on running a state or even the country. SAD!!
This was just cruel! But I admit, you had me scouring the internet for more info.
This was the first thing I thought of this am wakening, wonder what Tom will write, Great, Jindal would run and he has been highly successful in Global investing and profiting from the F***ing moron we have as President
you have got to be kidding!!!!!! as much damage as that politician has done to this state does he actually think the people in Louisiana will forget all his shenanigans while in office?
You may want to check today’s date.
Oh my goodness! Had me ready to jump off a bridge there for a minute. Lol!
There is no State function too important nor unimportant for one to gift to one’s loyal co-conspirators —- I mean campaign patrons.
This has got to be an April Fools joke!
I am totally against Bobby Jindal running for Governor or any other office. He has a couple of good conservative Family Values planks in his platform such as Pro-Life, Christian issues, Highways, Israel, Oil, etc., but you cannot just run on these issues alone. I could do that. He is against the Poor, whose who really need it and casts an aura of Globalism. He takes stands on issues and has quite inappropriate steps in action processes for or against them. He uses out of state talent when he should be using those in his own backyard and put them to work. He polarizes into destruction and is an embarrassment to these. He is a divider and he is constantly destroying the Republican Party and Conservative Ideology approaching issues with Communistic style One Size Fits All approaches to issues and individuals with classism. Outside the Legislative process he flips on issues and gets his information incorrect and incomplete. Even tho he knows and calls you by your first name, he never knows WHO you really are. He bases his decisions on big outside donors/hidden and known and does not heed to true statistics and needs. His Administration to me was a failure because it never got its work finished or complete regardless of his preaching on Sunshine/Transparency. He Sunshine was always there for us to see that his work was incomplete and inaccurate. A few in his bureaucracy told me so. Please do not run for office and divide the ideology and party and hope he does not continue to endorse candidates and issues as he stirs up division big time. His focus is all about the outside and not Louisiana.
I protested along with many other Republicans, Conservatives, etc. along with most of the whole spectrum but his own group and posse at the Pontchartrain Center.
He also wants to take bad issues and make it a Party problem when it is a Jindalian problem, in other words, making Republicans look bad and making it a Party issue rather than issues on its own essence and import to the state. Calling it a right or left or Democratic or Republican thing when it isn’t.
We need to get back to closed primaries so we can weed he and those like Roemer, Blanco and him out.
On a personal touch, friendly sweet talker, but never ever returns phone calls, Constituent letters, and communications.
Please do not run or endorse any issues or candidates, Bobby.
Uh, you may want to check today’s date.
Oh. _ Thank you, Tom. Poor Guy, the subject of our April Fool Bullying Session. He sure earned that position. HaHaHa.
Indeed he did earn it.
Tom, your April Fool’s shellacking is all Jindal earned his last term in office. He owes the State a refund for his unearned salary and emoluments of the office – like his incessant travel to and from Iowa with no benefit to his employer.
I almost threw up.
We know you well, Tom, and knew you would not disappoint your loyal readers who expect an annual April Fool’s opus. But this year’s “revelation” was almost frightening. You are forgiven for the momentary shock when that headline almost caused my heart to skip a beat. Maria Butina – nice touch.
It’s a measure of our times that I wasn’t 100% sure it was a joke until the end. Yes, it seemed preposterous, but so much does now.