Louisiana Voice

Bobby Jindal, shut out of the big boy pants Republican stupid party debates, may have found just the ticket to catapult him past “none of the above” in the GOP presidential nomination mash-up: hold—or at least issue the challenge to hold—one-on-one debates with a pre-selected opponent.

It is the boldest of a series of stupid bold tactics employed recently by Jindal, who has languished somewhere around 238^th among candidates and non-candidates from all recognized and unrecognized political parties.

It’s a lead pipe cinch to give him instant street creds in the bare knuckles food fight into which the Republican dialog has descended.

And as his ace in the hole, he also has reached out to the Islamic community for support by being the first—and only—candidate of any stripe to openly admit he would vote for a Muslim candidate for president….provided he or she is a Christian.

Here is what he actually said in response to the question posed to neurosurgeon Ben Carson on whether or not he would vote for a Muslim presidential candidate:

“If you can find me a Muslim candidate who is a Republican, who will fight hard to protect religious liberty, who will respect the Judeo-Christian heritage of America, who will be committed to destroying ISIS and radical Islam, who will condemn cultures that treat women as second class citizens and who will place their hand on the Bible and swear to uphold the Constitution, then yes, I will be happy to consider voting for him or her.” http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/bobby-jindal-vote-for-muslim_56002233e4b00310edf7c308

Cristian Farias, writing for The Huffington Post, wrote “It’s not clear exactly what the governor means by ‘respecting the Judeo-Christian heritage of America,’ especially since the framers of the Constitution specifically declined to establish a national religion. But between that and the Bible thing, Jindal’s ideal Muslim candidate kind of sounds like … a Christian, basically.”

Of course Jindal, always covering his bases, offered what he considered to be an alternative to finding a good Christian Muslim candidate. “If you can’t (find a candidate like that), I’ll settle for voting for a Christian Governor from Louisiana,” he said.

Next, according to information leaked to LouisianaVoice from his campaign headquarters in downtown Shongaloo, he will make the same offer to any potential candidate from the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender (LGBT) community….provided he or she subscribes to the one-man, one-woman marriage covenant—and so long as none attempt to apply for a marriage license in Rowan County, Kentucky.

There has been no word yet of whether he intends to extend a similar offer to the hordes of illegal immigrants invading the U.S. who refuse to assimilate and go to work.

But we digress. Back to the debates.

His debate ploy has already worked in thinning out the ranks of presidential wannabes.

It was on Aug. 22 that Jindal laid down the gauntlet in challenging Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker to appear with him on stage “anywhere, anytime” to debate the pair’s respective alternatives to the Affordable Care Act, aka ObamaCare.

And apparently Jindal’s latest ploy also serves to send out the message that old alliances mean nothing in the dog-eat-dog arena of presidential politics. You may remember that Jindal spent considerable time in 2011 and 2012 cavorting around Wisconsin in support of Walker in the latter’s successful efforts to fight a recall effort. http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/OTUS/declared-winner-wisconsin-recall-gov-scott-walker/story?id=16502469

http://www.cbsnews.com/news/the-scott-walker-hypothesis-faces-a-test-in-wisconsin/

http://wtvr.com/2012/06/06/walker-survives-recall-effort-in-wisconsin-cnn-projects/

“I have the backbone, the experience, and the bandwidth (bandwidth?) to get this job done,” Jindal said with all the confidence of a master debater. “I can’t speak for Scott (they’re on a first name basis, you know). Maybe he’s intimidated, maybe he’s not ready to debate, but we are.”

Apparently it was the backbone part (or perhaps that reference to the dreaded bandwidth) that intimidated Walker. Whatever, it appeared to work.

On Monday (September 21), as the summer of 2015 finally came to an official end, Walker dropped out of the Republican presidential sweepstakes, obviously choosing not to take on his one-time political ally in a mano a mano showdown. http://www.cnn.com/2015/09/21/politics/scott-walker-drops-out-2016-election/

One down.

Which raises the immediate question: can Hillary be far behind Walker?

Not content to thin out the Republican herd, Jindal on Monday saw an opportunity to destroy yet another opponent, Hillary Clinton, who just happened to be in Baton Rouge in a campaign stopover.

“Secretary Clinton’s first stop on her socialized medicine tour is in Louisiana, where Governor Bobby Jindal has rejected the expansion of Obamacare in the state because it would put more people on a poorly-run government healthcare system, take away freedom from people, and bust the budget,” trumpeted the Web page dedicated to Jindal’s election to the presidency. https://www.bobbyjindal.com/jindal-challenges-secretary-clinton-to-healthcare-debate/

The Web page, which just happens to have a convenient “donate” button, then went on to quote Bobby:

“I have a plan that repeals Obamacare and replaces it with something that preserves freedom, empowers patients, lowers costs and reduces the role of both the federal government and insurance company bureaucrats,” he said, being careful at the same time not to tip his hand as to just what his “plan” entails.

“Instead of battling through press releases though, I have an idea for Hillary Clinton. Let’s have a debate about healthcare. Instead of the carefully controlled campaign events that Secretary Clinton prefers,” said the pot to the kettle, “let’s give the American people a real live discussion.”

Anyone see a trend here?

Surely Hillary, seeing the handwriting on the wall, will wither under Jindal’s bandwidth and experience and in a few days will be announcing her withdrawal from the race and Jindal can then turn his attention to Dr. Ben Carson and challenge him to a debate on brain surgery.

After that the next step will be obvious: perform an exorcism on Donald Trump.