Louisiana Voice

Today, I caught an interesting story on The Texas Tribune, a nonprofit online news publication that partners with Pro Publica and more than a dozen other similar state publication, a story that, it seems, was picked up by no other news organizations in Louisiana – except LouisianaVoice.

The Texas legislature has for the second time pulled millions of dollars in STATE FUNDING for child identification kids meant to help find missing kids but actually proved ineffective.

So, why is that relative to Louisiana?

Well, two years ago, LOUISIANA VOICE had a story about how then-Attorney General and gubernatorial candidate Jeff Landry got sucked in on the program.

Fooled long with Landry were savvy Texas political honchos Gov. Greg Abbott, Attorney General Ken Paxton, Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick and U.S. Sen. Ted Cruz (Repugnantcans one and all), along with the Louisiana Sheriffs Association, Ochsner Health, Our Lady of the Lake Health and American Electric Power (which services customers in 11 states, including Louisiana and Texas).

But wait. It seems that if you failed to get your free kit, courtesy of one of the above sponsors of the program, you can still order a 25-pack kit from AMAZON for a mere $79.95. Or you can order them from the VFW for considerably less.

The Louisiana Sheriffs Association was so sold on the kits’ value that it held a PRESS CONFERENCE at which the kits were hawked with Landry and a host of Louisiana sheriffs looking on as if the dude in the black cowboy hat produced added credibility. Just for good measure, Landry also weighed in with his two cents’ worth which, as it has turned out, may not have really been worth even that much.

But all was not as it appeared to be, according to this 2023 story that was a collaborative venture of THE TEXAS TRIBUNE AND PROPUBLICA.

Two years before that, Landry convinced the Republican Attorneys General Association (RAGA) to set up a cash for influence nonprofit operation by selling member attorneys general and their staff access to corporate funders.

THE NATIONAL CHILD IDENTIFICATION PROGRAM was initially linked to the RAGA nonprofit and supposed to provide $100,000 in funding but never did.

Even though the Louisiana program was established with an array of corporate sponsors and did not receive any taxpayer funding as did Texas, it is still worth noting that our governor could be taken in so easily by an organization set up ostensibly to protect vulnerable children.

It’s understandable how well-meaning corporate CEOs, looking for a high-profile cause, could be so fooled but Landry was the state’s chief legal officer at the time and was supposedly dedicated to fighting fraud.

I’ve come up with what I believe is the perfect formula for the Democratic Party to rally the nation around its cause and to rid the country of those ‘ME TOO” Republicans from the nation’s political landscape.

It’s simple, really. All they have to do is find the most inane, nonsensical issue, put it out there on some social media platform for the lowest of the IQ to absorb. Rinse. Repeat. Rinse. Repeat.

That’s all it takes. Just look at the catch-phrases picked up by MAGA: fake news, witch hunt, DEI, deep state, drain the swamp, alternative facts, hoax and the latest, Make America Healthy Again (MAHA). Instantly, as if on cue (and who’s to say they weren’t?), his ardent admirers begin to chant the latest as if they’d shared an epiphany in the same instant and stumbled upon the Holy Grail itself.

The latest examples, brought down to the local level, are bills that poppled up in this year’s legislative session in Baton Rouge, inspired by brain-worm, dead-bear-planting, whale-decapitating, sewage-swimming Robert F. Kennedy Jr.

State Sen. Patrick McMath (R-Covington) is about to see his SENATE BILL 14 become law. Funny how that really was never an issue before – until, that is, Kennedy and Agent Orange’s pick for surgeon general, holistic doctor and wellness influencer Casey Means rolled out the bandwagon for all the little MAGHATS to climb aboard.

Speaking of which, here’s a suggestion for an event to hold in conjunction with Trump’s June 14 birthday parade to be held in his honor:

The other bill gives credence (gasp!) to Marjorie Taylor-Greene, the Georgia congressperson who remains convinced that Jewish laser beams start California forest fires and that Democrats are actually controlling the weather.

State Sen. Michael “Big Mike” Fesi (R-Houma) is such a devotee to the absurd claim that he is pushing his SENATE BILL 46 which would prohibit such nefarious behavior on the part of the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA). That nonsense actually passed the Senate vote by 35-0 with four senators opting to go fishing that day and miss such a crucial vote. One of the four absentees was none other than McMath who was apparently in consultation with Kennedy and Means. Once both those subjects became issues for Kennedy, all the little MAGHATS couldn’t wait to make it their very own. Funny how that works.

Now if the Democrats would just start pounding opponents with zippy nicknames, hell, the Repugnantcans (see how easy that is?) wouldn’t stand a chance.

I mean, just look how the term TACO is making Trump and his sycophants squirm and fidget. The reaction is both hysterically hilarious and hilariously hysterical. Vice President J.D. Vance, with nothing better to do, has come out SWINGING AT DEMOCRATS for daring to park a Taco truck outside Republican headquarters. (Better take a look, J.D., it could be a Tesla Taco Truck:

Of course, Crock-A-Lardo‘s feathers are ruffled and he has surrogate J.D. Vance screaming “Fowl.”

This is the same J.D. Vance, mind you, who nine years ago called Trump an “idiot” and even compared his future boss to ADOLF HITLER. But, yeah, a taco truck in front of GOP headquarters is a cheap shot and the Dems should be ashamed of themselves.

Really? Let’s look at some of the shots fired by Cadet Bone Spurs at some of his opponents. With most, it will be unnecessary to clarify whom he is referring to, so we won’t bother with the obvious ones:

• Crooked Joe; Joe Hiden; Sleepy Joe, Slow Joe.
• Low Energy Jeb.
• Alfred E. Neuman (Pete Buttigieg).
• Coco Chow (Elaine Chao, Mitch McConnell’s wife).
• Low IQ War Hawk (Liz Cheney)
• Crazy Hillary; Crooked Hillary; Lyin’ Hillary.
• Slimbeball James Comey.
• Lyin’ Tec (Cruz).
• Ron DeSanctimonious.
• Al Frankenstein.
• Birdbrain (Nikki Haley).
• Little Marco.
• Pencil Neck (Adam Schiff)

You get the picture. (Although I do like the names he gave to DeSantis and Schiff. They’re pretty funny.)

So, the obvious strategy here is to manufacture dubious issues, keep up the drumbeat no matter what the fact-checkers say, hurl epithets right and left and then scream bloody murder when someone hits you with a zinger like TACO Don.

Come to think of it, my solution sounds a lot like Louisiana politics – like when Edwin Edwards kissed opponent Puggy Moity on the cheek after Moity had implied that Edwards was gay or when one of Earl Long’s opponents was hospitalized after a car wreck and Long said he went to the hospital to check on him because “if he dies, they might put somebody good in the race who’d beat both of us,” or when, in 1991, when Edwards was in a runoff with David Duke, bumper stickers cropped up all over the state that said, “Vote for the crook; it’s important.”

Whenever I hear TACO Don respond to a reporter’s uncomfortable question with yet another of his predictable accusations of nastiness, I can’t help but be reminded of DORIS PACKER, a largely forgotten actress from an old CBS sitcom from the late 1950s and early ‘60s (yeah, that’s how old I am).

Doris Parker had the recurring role of the mother of millionaire playboy Chatsworth Osborne Jr. on the old Many Lives of Dobie Gillis show that ran from September 1959 to June 1963 on CBS.

Mrs. Osborne often referred to her son, Dobie’s nemesis, as “SUCH A NASTY BOY” in her snobbish tone that told the world that she was far superior to the lesser beings whom she was forced to tolerate.

Fast forward 65 years and we have members of the fourth estate questioning Herr Führer about his latest nickname. As you listen, close your eyes and picture in your mind’s eye Mrs. Osborne and even those of the younger set who have never heard of Dobie Gillis can HEAR THE RESEMBLANCE.

The only unresolved question that keeps us from actually believing in reincarnation is what (or who) in some parallel universe could Trump possibly be superior to in intellect?

political.satirical

Taco Trump Threat from Bondi

1d

BREAKING NEWS Pam Bondi Demands Removal of “Taco Trump” References or Criminal ProsecutionTampa, FL, May 30, 2025 — Former Florida Attorney General Pam Bondi today issued a formal cease-and-desist directive to all individuals and media platforms: immediately remove any use of the epithet “Taco Trump” in reference to President Donald J. Trump, or face criminal charges.

political.satirical

Taco Trump Threat from Bondi

1d

“ENOUGH WITH THE TACO NONSENSE!”“Let me be crystal clear,” Bondi roared in her typically polished yet venom-drizzled tone, “if you utter that ridiculous ‘Taco Trump’ slur one more time, I’ll personally track you down with more tenacity than I hunted down embezzlers in Tallahassee. This is not a drill, this is not satire—oh wait… yes it is satire, but you still better zip it!”

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political.satirical

Taco Trump Threat from Bondi

1d

The Mexican snack that broke the camel’s back“I’ve tolerated every absurd nickname,” she continued, “from Crooked Hillary’s many crimes to Sleepy Joe’s naptime excuses. But this ‘Taco Trump’ business is crossing a line. Tacos are delicious, they deserve respect, & associating them with political theatre is a slap in the face to cilantro lovers everywhere.”

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political.satirical

Taco Trump Threat from Bondi

1d

Threat level: BondiSources close to Bondi’s inner circle (read: her closest hairdresser) confirm she’s drafted a three-page cease-and-desist, complete with bullet-pointed legalese and a pie chart illustrating “Taco-Based Political Insults Over Time.” Whoever coined “Taco Trump” has approximately 48 hours before they receive a strongly worded letter thicker than the Constitution.

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political.satirical

Taco Trump Threat from Bondi

1d

BOTTOM LINEPam Bondi has drawn her line in the sand (or salsa), issuing a public ultimatum: mention “taco” in any “Taco Trump” context, & you’ll face legal fire hotter than a habanero. Whether this will stop the internet’s latest meme-obsession or merely fuel the next viral truth-bomb remains to be seen.Disclaimer: This entire statement is parody. No tacos were harmed in the making of this press release. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or guacamole-less, is purely intentional.

There have been a number of clever names bestowed upon Donald Trump:

• Felon 47
• Cadet Bonespurs
• The Lyin’ King
• Grifter-in-Chief
• IMPOTUS
• Don the Con
• Tub-A-Lardo

But leave it to Wall Street to come up with the best yet.

In tribute (if that’s the correct word) to his vacillating on tariffs and his propensity to blink first in dealings with adversaries, they’ve dubbed him TACO, a simple acronym for “Trump Always Chickens Out,” a moniker that has Agent Orange (that’s another one) fuming.

(It’s really amazing how quickly the cartoonists seize upon an issue)

When a reporter asked him yesterday (Wednesday) about the reports that Wall Street traders are loading up and dumping stocks based on der Führer’s (still another) erratic back and forth on tariffs, he erupted in classic Trumpian style, first denying that he had done anything more than win a tough round of negotiations, and then chastising the reporter for asking what he described as “one of the nastiest questions imaginable.”

This guy calling anyone nasty is truly laughable. I mean lying down, rolling around on the floor, holding one’s sides until your entire body goes limp laughing.

This goes way beyond the pot calling the kettle anything. It surpasses the evil of Darth Vader, Anton Chiguth (No Country for Old Men), the Joker, Hannibal Lecter and Nurse Ratched combined (well, maybe not Nurse Ratched – she’s pretty bad).

As Exhibit A, I give you The Art of the Steal’s (yet another) latest screed on Truth Social:

HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY TO ALL, INCLUDING THE SCUM THAT SPENT THE LAST FOUR YEARS TRYING TO DESTROY OUR COUNTRY THROUGH WARPED RADICAL LEFT MINDS, WHO ALLOWED 21,000,000 MILLION PEOPLE TO ILLEGALLY ENTER OUR COUNTRY, MANY OF THEM BEING CRIMINALS AND THE MENTALLY INSANE,THROUGH AN OPEN BORDER THAT ONLY AN INCOMPETENT PRESIDENT WOULD APPROVE, AND THROUGH JUDGES WHO ARE ON A MISSION TO KEEP MURDERERS, DRUG DEALERS, RAPISTS, GANG MEMBERS, AND RELEASED PRISONERS FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD, IN OUR COUNTRY SO THEY CAN ROB, MURDER, AND RAPE AGAIN — ALL PROTECTED BY THESE USA HATING JUDGES WHO SUFFER FROM AN IDEOLOGY THAT IS SICK, AND VERY DANGEROUS FOR OUR COUNTRY. HOPEFULLY THE UNITED STATES SUPREME COURT, AND OTHER GOOD AND COMPASSIONATE JUDGES THROUGHOUT THE LAND, WILL SAVE US FROM THE DECISIONS OF THE MONSTERS WHO WANT OUR COUNTRY TO GO TO HELL. BUT FEAR NOT, WE HAVE MADE GREAT PROGRESS OVER THE LAST 4 MONTHS, AND AMERICA WILL SOON BE SAFE AND GREAT AGAIN! AGAIN, HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY, AND GOD BLESS AMERICA!

Just as a way of clarification, the all-caps format is not mine, but his. When he’s on a rant, that’s the way he likes to make a point – by the internet equivalent of shouting.

If that isn’t the typical schoolyard bully, I don’t know what is: deflect by blaming everyone else for being what you are in spades. All he needs to do now is roll around on the floor or hold his breath until he turns blue (but who would know, under all that orange pancake makeup?)

And by writing “21,000,000 million,” I assume he must mean that 21 trillion illegal immigrants have somehow flooded into this country. There have not been 21 trillion humans combined in all of earth’s history (the actual estimate if 108 billion), much less that many illegals in this country. (And, by the way, the total border crossing under the Biden administration is 6.7 million, not 21 million.)

Did they not teach math in the Wharton School of Business?

But TACO. That’s a new low, coming from the cats on Wall Street – and the most fitting label yet.