Louisiana Voice

In the dystopian world in which we find ourselves today, there are plenty of candidates for the title of political whore right here in Louisiana. But despite the back alley skirt-hiking maneuvers of our two U.S. senators, there is no more prevalent practitioner of sycophantic whoredom than that paragon of virtue Mike Johnson.

Let’s face it, the House Speaker runs a full-service House of ill repute for the exclusive pleasure of TACO Donald Trump. Jeffrey Epstein? Who needs pedophilia when you have your very own personal political prostitute who is willing and eager to perform any service you desire?

Too harsh? Well, let’s look at the record and you can decide for yourself (except, of course, the diehard MAGHATS who still haven’t comprehended the insult directed their way when Trump said the well-educated don’t like him)

First, let’s go back to Jan. 26, 2024, a full year before Cadet Bone Spurs re-entered the Oval Office. The Senate, in a rare case of bipartisanship, had reached an agreement on a border deal, a deal that was tied to aid to Ukraine. But Trump sent word to Johnson that he did not want Biden to receive any credit on immigration so, Johnson, obediently chimed in that the legislation would be “DEAD ON ARRIVAL” in the House. How’s that for putting interests of the nation over political considerations?

Not convinced yet? Fast forward to March 4, 2025. As the Trump administration was slashing budgets, firing personnel and abolishing agencies indiscriminately through his surrogate at the time, Elon Musk, it was Johnson who cautioned – no, instructed – House members to avoid at all costs holding any TOWN HALL MEETINGS back home during a legislative recess. His explanation, echoing his puppet master Don the Con in claiming demonstrations back home against the cuts was fueled by “professional protesters” without an ounce of evidence to that assertion.

“Why would we give them a forum to do that (protest) right now?” Mikey asked, not necessarily rhetorically. Because, by God, it’s your damned job to listen to your constituents, you mealy-mouthed double-deal Charlatan. Of course, el Trumpo decreed it, so Johnson, the flaccid sycophant that he is, complied.

Still not enough? (My, you really are wearing blinders.) Follow me to July 23 of this year. That’s when Johnson RECESSED THE HOUSE early to avoid a vote on the Epstein files. Clever, right? Some of his own party didn’t think so. They were pissed. Here’s Johnson’s less-than-convincing explanation: “We have a moral responsibility to expose the evil of Epstein and everybody who was involved in that, absolutely. And we’re resolved to do it. But we also have an equal moral responsibility to protect the innocent.” Protecting the guilty, including the hand moving his mouth, is more like it.

If that’s still not sufficient, there’s this story that posted just yesterday (Sept. 27). You see, there is this discharge petition pending that, if approved, could force a vote on the House floor on the release of the Epstein files. You want a clear-cut example of Johnson’s inconsistency? Try this.

When Democrat Adelita Grijalva won her race for Arizona’s 7^th House District last week, she became the 218^th – and final – signature needed to force that vote. But wait. Johnson said he WANTS TO WAIT until her election results are official before she is sworn in. That’s despite:

• Her winning the seat by 40 points (a bigly landslide)
• Two weeks ago, when Democrat James Walkinshaw won his race in Virginia, Johnson swore him in immediately (because his vote didn’t put the discharge petition over the top) and
• Johnson’s practice of seating Republican members the very day after their race was called.

There you have it, folks. Whoredom at its best. Johnson is literally the best politician money – or corruption – can buy.

Got a request of Mikey? Give a bundle of money to his pimp, El Presidente, and stand back and watch the Speaker turn tricks.

“Leaders cannot call their political opponents Nazis and fascists and enemies of the state because they disagree with their policy priorities. I mean, this is something we should have learned in grade school.”

–Speaker Mike Johnson, at the weekly House Republican Leadership press conference on Sept. 16, 2025.

“They’re very dangerous. They’re Marxists and communists and fascists. They’re the threat to democracy. The enemy from within, in my opinion, is more dangerous than China, Russia and all these countries.”

–Donald Trump, to Fox News host Harris Faulkner, Oct. 16, 2024.

On equal footing with his claim that he will reduce prescription drug prices by 1500 percent:

“I want to congratulate President Mirziyoyev on signing a GREAT Deal with Boeing! Worth over $8 Billion Dollars, Uzbekistan Airways is purchasing 22,787 Dreamliners. This will create over 35,000 jobs in the United States.”

–TACO Donald Trump, on Uzbekistan Airways’ deal to purchase 14 Boeing 787 Dreamliners with an option for eight more (22 total).

(Boeing has manufactured and delivered only 1,215 total but MAGGOT hero Trump, according to Daily Kos, inserted a comma between the numbers 22 and 787 instead of a space. But hey, according to Trump’s math (he’s a Wharton graduate, remember?), 22,787 of those puppies for $8 billion puts the cost at an amazing $351,000 each. Even better, by “creating” 35,000 jobs, each of the 22,787 planes will be built by 1.5 workers per aircraft. Except the 35,000 jobs are not new positions; the order simply supports existing jobs, avoiding layoffs. Too bad no one on his splendid staff of sycophants could summon the cojones to point out his error.)