Louisiana Voice

What in the name of Adderall-induced dementia was Mar-A-Lardo Trump thinking when he made the announcement on Truth Social that he was sending a Navy hospital ship—that just happens to be unavailable to sail anywhere—to GREENLAND, which doesn’t want or need the help, on a humanitarian mission to aid in a non-existent health crisis?

Adderall, for the MAGHATS reading this, is taken for the treatment of narcolepsy (not to be confused with epilepsy or necrophilia.)

And just what is Jeff Landry’s role going to be in this head-scratcher?

Could this be a thinly-disguised plan for a military invasion of the country with Landry’s being promoted to Rear Admiral to carry out the attack in an aircraft carrier with a big red cross painted on its bow?

One reader posed the not-so-tongue-in-cheek question, “If part-time governor Landry wants to pull a Trumpian stunt, why not anchor a Navy hospital ship at New Orleans and offer medical care to those who need it?”

Ah, but that makes too much sense to be a viable proactive decision for anyone in Louisiana politics. I mean after all, we have a state legislator from New Iberia as a (legally, I might add) candidate for Congress representing Julia Letlow’s district which is comprised mostly of parishes up around the Arkansas border.

But back to Greenland and that crushing need for humanitarian help. Just what is the urgency, anyway? Well, one American sailor got ill onboard his ship and the good folks of Greenland took him in to a hospital for treatment—treatment that is free in that country, by the way.

And what about America’s two hospital ships? Both the USNS Mercy and the USNS Comfort are themselves incapacitated—sort of like that sick American sailor—because they are in dry dock undergoing maintenance until sometime around July, which kind of makes Trump’s message that a ship is “on the way” seem a little out there in la-la land.

Bear in mind, if you will, this is the same guy who is shutting down FEMA, who denied assistance to the West Coast when it was on fire and who still has not managed to be of much help to the hurricane victims in North Carolina.

That “fantastic” Landry has remained eerily quiet on the topic thus far. What with the 2026 regular session of the Louisiana Legislature cranking up two weeks from today, it would seem that Squeaky Toy would have his hands full splitting time between Baton Rouge and Nuuk.

But, hey, perhaps he can dispatch former veterinarian, former pharmaceutical salesman, former congressman, former gubernatorial candidate, former Louisiana surgeon general and former CDC principal deputy director Ralph Abraham (who served in the latter post “with clarity and discipline,” according to a CDC statement) along to supervise U.S. naval and Greenland surgeons with his “clarity and discipline” as they toil to bring this medical catastrophe to a happy outcome.