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Archive for September, 2015

Kristy Nichols won’t be joining Jindal in White House; she bails for Ochsner lobbying job in wake of latest fiscal crisis

Posted in Budget, Contract, Contracts, DHH, DOA, Governor's Office, Higher Education, Lobbyist, OGB, Office of Group Benefits on September 16, 2015| 29 Comments »

“Danger, Will Robinson!”

Okay, for those of you not old enough to remember the ‘60s, that’s the catchphrase from the old CBS series Lost in Space.

But the warning might just as well be applicable for patients of Ochsner Health System come Oct. 15.

That’s the date Kristy Nichols will be leaving as Bobby Jindal’s Commissioner of Administration to become Ochsner’s Vice President of Government and Corporate Affairs (read lobbyist). That was something of a surprise in that the smart money had her going to Blue Cross/Blue Shield of Louisiana.

Even as Jindal was sending out an email blast informing all three of his Louisiana supporters that he had just landed in California for the Republican debate and that he was “fired up” (yes, he actually said that; we’re so lucky to be on his email list), Nichols was announcing her resignation.

In her own email sent to all Division of Administration (DOA) employees on Tuesday, Nichols said she will be helping Ochsner “to strategically manage their growth as a healthcare provider.”

In other words (well, not in other words; as Oscar Madison said to Felix Unger in The Odd Couple: “Those are the words”), she will be doing for Ochsner what she and her boss did for the state during her three-year reign.

There were some other classic quotes contained in Kristy’s email as well as the official announcement from Jindal’s office. “I believe that our accomplishments will provide lasting benefits for generations to come,” she said.

Well, the effects of her tenure will be felt for generations to come but to shoehorn the word “benefits” into that statement must’ve taken a bit of imagination on someone’s part.

“I am proud of the work that we have accomplished in making Louisiana a better place to live and raise a family, and I am confident that we will continue down this path going forward,” she added.

The amazing thing is she apparently said that with a straight face. In our upcoming book about Jindal, an entire chapter is devoted to why Louisiana is not a better place to live and raise a family. (A hint: there are nearly three dozen categories in which Louisiana ranks as the worst or near the worst in the nation—hardly a ringing endorsement of the claim of “a better place to live.”)

But for sheer brass cajones, the trophy has to go to Jindal who, in heaping praise on Nichols, said she has “fully dedicated herself to bettering the state of Louisiana,” and “Together, we’ve been able to reduce the size of government, improve health care across the state, and create a better, stronger Louisiana.”

No wonder the boy continues to languish at less than 1 percent in the Republican sweepstakes. Bobby, you may want to check out the 9th Commandment. That improved health care claim is a damned lie. There’s no other way to say it than to say our “Christian” governor is a damned liar. He knows it and we know it.

And as the state, barely two months into the current fiscal year, is already cutting $4.6 million in spending ($3.8 million of which fell on higher education), instead of sticking around to try to solve the mess, she bails. (But then again, we’ve had three years of her problem-solving and we know what that accomplished.)

Just as we learn that the TOPS free college tuition program will fall $19 million short, she lights a shuck.

Even as the projected budgetary shortfall for next year is already more than $700 million, she cuts and runs.

Most important, considering where she’s headed, the Legislative Fiscal Office informs us that Kristy’s office failed to account for $335 million in increased spending anticipated by the Department of Health and Hospitals. So, naturally, she’s going to work for Ochsner to (and we can’t repeat this often enough) do for them what she’s done for the state.

God help us but most of all, God help Ochsner, heretofore a premier provider of health care for residents of South Louisiana.

This is the individual who once said her job was to make Bobby Jindal look good. Well, we all know how that turned out.

She is the same one who commissioned an employee satisfaction/efficiency study only to find the results so devastating that she tried to keep them from becoming public. (Sorry to rain on your parade, Kristy, but it was leaked to LouisianaVoice which posted the results last October and which showed severe morale problems within DOA) https://louisianavoice.com/2014/10/02/employee-survey-of-doa-employees-reveals-simmering-morale-problem-no-one-more-popular-than-jindal-in-poll/

Then, after we ran the story, she set out on a crusade to find the leak and ended up punishing the wrong employees in the wrong agency. (How’s that for being proactive in addressing the problem of poor morale?)

She’s the same person who hired Alvarez & Marsal at $5 million and then promptly amended the contract (illegally) to $7.5 million for the company to find ways for the state to save $500 million. The 50 percent amendment was in violation of provisions that allow only a 10 percent maximum increase in contract amounts without legislative concurrence.

She’s the same one who orchestrated the Office of Group benefits debacle which raised premiums and lowered benefits for state employees, retirees, and dependents last year. That was after the state lowered premiums as a furtive means of lessening the state’s contribution obligations so that she and Jindal could use the extra money to patch over gaping budget holes—a tactic that depleted OGB’s reserve fund from $500 million to virtually nothing.

Kristy is the same one who has presided over budget disaster after budget disaster her entire tenure with this year’s patchwork effort barely lasting until legislators hit the door of the State Capitol to head back to their districts. Now, as higher education is facing even more budget cuts after the problem was supposed fixed, she smugly expressed confidence that the funds would be restored “if income forecasts improve.” She said she was “hopeful” about that possibility. http://neworleanscitybusiness.com/blog/2015/08/28/analysis-holes-and-worries-emerge-in-louisianas-budget/

And of course, we are all hopeful that we have the winning Power Ball ticket which would improve our own income forecasts.

And just last Friday (Sept. 11) a glowing press release was issued by DOA lauding the $75 million savings in the first year of the Office of Technology Services consolidation. http://www.doa.la.gov/comm/PressReleases/Consolidated%20Office%20of%20Technology%20Services%20Saves%20$75%20Million%20in%20First%20Year,%2009-10-15.pdf.

The only problem: the release was just one more in a long line of blatant lies designed to make the administration look good. And to be completely candid, it takes some real whoppers to do that.

Senate Bill 481 by State Sen. Jack Donahue (R-Mandeville) created the Office of Technology Services (OTS) and was signed into law by Jindal as Act 712 of the 2014 Regular Legislative Session as part of an effort to consolidate information technology (IT) services across state agencies.

At the Department of Transportation and Development (DOTD), for example, the IT budget has not been reduced and in fact, may have been increased, according to sources within DOTD.

DOTD is paying for things under the consolidation that it has never had to pay for before, such as paying DOA to house the servers and mainframe (previously housed in-house at DOTD facility). DOTD is also paying more to DOA for services such as the LaGOV Enterprise Resource Planning System (ERP),    the state’s data warehouse which provides “end-to-end” support for statewide and agency-specific administrative business processes.

Moreover, DOA has not allowed DOTD to purchase new equipment (which was budgeted) for the last three years. As much as 40 percent of DOTD computer equipment is six years or older, making it difficult to design roads and bridges with modern software.

So, while some savings may have been achieved by other departments and some general fund money saved (of which DOTD uses none), DODT Transportation Trust Fund (TTF) money is not being saved.

And while some savings might be realized in the future, in the short term it is most likely paper savings.

All these attributes are what Kristy Nichols will take with her to Ochsner.

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Gift cards for tickets, payroll chicanery, quotas, short shifts the norm in Troop D; troopers express dismay at problems

Posted in Crime, Ethics, Fraud, State Police on September 11, 2015| 33 Comments »

The badge of the Louisiana State Police has been tarnished and the rank and file—the road troopers, especially those in Troop D—don’t like it.

From reports of gift cards to troopers for making ticket quotas to an unwritten policy of giving time off for DWI arrests to padding of fees for escorting oversized loads, the picture emerging from Troop D presents a negative reflection on the entire Department of Public Safety.

And those troopers who are trying to uphold the integrity of the LSP motto of “Courtesy, Loyalty, Service” believe that is an unfair representation. They have privately expressed their collective dismay—particularly at a time when it appears that open season has been declared on law enforcement officials by seemingly anyone with a grudge.

LouisianaVoice has learned from sources within the Department of Public Safety that Trooper Ronald Picou of Beauregard Parish has been suspected of committing payroll chicanery for years. His fellow troopers say Picou gets his recommended number of citations (read quota) within the first couple of hours after coming on duty and then abandons his patrol duties for the remainder of the shift.

LouisianaVoice has learned that Picou habitually works the first two or three hours of his 12-hour night shift or four-to-six hours of his 12-hour shift when working days. All activities during a shift are logged on the State Police radio but there were some shifts that Picou supposedly worked which showed zero radio activity.

Other Troop D troopers questioned whether Picou is writing the tickets he did write because the driver deserved a citation or so that the trooper can take off early but still get paid. Picou is assigned to patrol Beauregard Parish.

When troopers took it upon themselves to determine where Picou was spending his shift, the answer came almost too easily, they said. His patrol vehicle was parked at his home while taxpayers’ investment in protection was being ignored. Some troopers said that Picou even bragged about sleeping at home.

Why would a trooper need to spend so much time at home? It might be because he has been too busy running a construction company during the day.

Louisiana Secretary of State corporate records show that Ronald Picou runs TRP Construction at 1870 Granberry Road in Deridder in Beauregard Parish. That also is the address of his residence.

Our sources indicate that Picou would work only a couple of hours of his night shift and then go home to rest so he could work at his construction job the following day.

TRP’s corporate papers were filed with the Secretary of State on April 23 of this year. Prior to that, he was active in Bois Clair, LLC, a right-of-way construction company whose previous address was also 1870 Granberry Board. Bois Clair is no longer affiliated with Picou and now has a Leesville address, effective April 23, the same date his current company was registered with the Secretary of State.

His co-workers at Troop D say they are fed up that he is not available to back up other troopers or other law enforcement agencies by choosing instead to pursue private business interests during his off hours and resting during his shift hours.

State Police Investigation of the Payroll Abuse

So how could a law enforcement officer go silent for up to 12 hours at a time without attracting the attention of supervision? It seems reasonable to think a supervisor, not hearing from a road trooper, would check on the officer to make sure he was safe. There is no legitimate explanation for this other than to speculate that the supervisor was aware and allowed it to happen.

Picou’s activities, or lack thereof, were reported to State Police Internal Affairs more than three years ago through an anonymous letter after troopers audited the radio logs confirming the reports. It was not reported directly for fear of retaliation (a wise decision in retrospect). Internal Affairs passed the investigation on to the Troop D commander Capt. Harlan Chris Guillory.

The investigation, instead of attempting to halt payroll abuse, however, was instead focused on discovering those involved with reporting the conduct. It seems to be an apparent pattern with the State Police to go after the messenger as evidenced by the 80-page report in our previous post which sought to discredit—and demote—officers who initiated a prescription monitoring program on Guillory. Guillory, Picou’s supervisor (Lt. Jim Jacobsen), and Picou were reported to be close friends.

Picou was placed on Jacobsen’s shift every year—something rarely, if ever, done. State police sources say shifts rotate each year and it is uncommon for a trooper to stay with the same lieutenant. Jacobsen subsequently retired but since his retirement, Picou has been on Lt. Paul Brady’s shift who is also said to be good friends with Jacobsen and has reportedly allowed the practice to continue.

The conduct was reported to state police at least three times. LSP finally appears to be taking the allegations seriously in response to LouisianaVoice’s public records request for Picou’s radio logs for the past six months. We intended to confirm the allegations with the documents but were denied because they are reportedly a part of an investigation. This despite LSP’s having been notified of this years ago. Nothing was done until we began asking questions.

When LouisianaVoice again made a public records request on Monday of this week (Sept. 6) for the State Police investigation file on Picou, we received the following response from LSP Attorney Supervisor Michele Giroir:

“…in response to your below public records request, I have been advised that the information that you seek is related to an ongoing administrative investigation.  Therefore, the records are not subject to release to you at this time pursuant to R.S. 40:2532 and Article 1 Section 5 of the Louisiana Constitution of 1974.”

Bear in mind that Picou was first reported three years ago and those were the investigative records we were seeking. So three years have gone by with no action on the complaints but now the file is suddenly part of an “ongoing administrative investigation.”

We have but one question: Why has it taken three years to conduct the investigation, an investigation which conveniently places the records beyond the reach of the public?

The annual estimated payroll abuse based on current salary at the average rate of radio silence based on 180 shifts per year is more $30,000 per year, according to figures provided LouisianaVoice. If the allegations are confirmed, this one trooper is responsible to the taxpayers of over $100,000, sources tell us.

The citizens of Beauregard Parish and Louisiana deserve better. The procedure of getting citations as quickly as possible and taking the rest of the shift off has begun to spread, officers said. Other troopers and new hires are being trained on how to do this. It does not stop there.

Brady Days, Drunk Driving Arrest for Paid Time Off

Brady days are an unwritten policy of time off for arresting a drunk driver. The practice got its name from the person who came up with the idea: Lt. Paul Brady. His idea was approved by Guillory.

Once a trooper arrests a drunk driver, he is allowed to take off for the remainder of the shift in violation of quota and payroll fraud laws. This in turn has led to claims that some motorists get arrested who are not impaired. Our sources tell us that supervisors order troopers to charge people who are not impaired (below the legal limit of blood alcohol content).

The supervisor demands the trooper offer a urine test and if it came back without drugs, it will not matter because by then, the trooper has received credit for the arrest even though the DA will simply drop the charges. Again, this raises an important question: Are motorists getting arrested because they made the mistake of driving drunk or because the trooper has the incentive of getting to go home early, with pay?

Prizes

There is a popular joke in law enforcement. Whenever a motorist accuses an officer of issuing a citation because the officer needs to meet his quota, officers jokingly respond that if he gives one more (ticket) he gets a toaster. Well in the case of Troop D, some troopers really are being awarded with gift cards monthly for getting enough arrests or citations. One source said the gift cards generally are awarded in denominations of $50.

Suspected Bribery

One report said a trooper was caught taking extra money for an oversized load escort. The extra payment appeared to be in exchange for the trooper to violate the restrictions of the state issued permit. The company tried to pay another trooper to do the same thing resulting in the discovery of a suspected bribe. The company made the mistake of filing a complaint against the second trooper who refused to take the extra payment. The original trooper had to give the money back. There was no investigation according to LSP Internal Affairs and therefore no information was available for a public records request.

They are not all bad

This information was brought forward by troopers who do not condone these actions. They tried reporting it through proper channels. Private citizens also reported Picou to troopers and asked that the information be passed on to supervisors. “They are embarrassed by these actions,” one trooper said. “Releasing this to LouisianaVoice was a last resort.”

Because of the unspoken policy of going after the whistleblowers, troopers who talked to us understandably found it necessary to conceal their identities.

Troopers now earn nearly $100,000 per year. Sergeants and above are well above six figures. The widespread payroll abuse is overt. New troopers are being trained that this is okay and it is becoming ingrained in the culture at Troop D. We can only hope this is not the case in other troops throughout the state.

LouisianaVoice stands behind and supports law enforcement at all levels. Without dedicated police officers, society would be reduced to anarchy. No one wants that. There has to be order and there must be laws and rules to live by. But these rules must be evenly applied both to the enforcers and to those on whom the rules are enforced.

When there is a double standard, we all suffer the consequences.

Administration’s attacking those who report abuse is not the answer and certainly not conducive to high morale.

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Edmonson solution to multitude of problems at troubled Troop D: go after messengers with a withering vengeance

Posted in Corruption, State Police, Transparency on September 8, 2015| 16 Comments »

The hammer has fallen on Troop D.

LouisianaVoice has learned of a meeting in Lake Charles on Tuesday at which time state police were informed that they could consider the entirety of Troop D to be under investigation by State Police Internal Affairs.

We’re not certain of the reason for the latest IA scrutiny but we feel confident that it may be a not-so-thinly veiled message to troopers to cease talking to LouisianaVoice.

That’s what generally happens when events begin to make the guys at the top a little uncomfortable and the necessity to quell rumblings in the ranks becomes a top priority. The natural thing to do is to go after the messenger. Administration just doesn’t like whistleblowers.

It’s a time-tested formula that is pockmarked with successes and failures of varying degrees—but mostly, in the final analysis, abject failure. We’re seeing it with Julian Assange and WikiLeaks and with Edward Snowden for blowing the cover off illegal surveillance on the part of the U.S. government. We’re seeing with Hillary Clinton’s email debacle. We saw it with Nixon’s plumbers in the Watergate scandal. We saw it with Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinski.

It’s been an ongoing crusade of the Jindal administration for five years now, including placing state offices off-limits to LouisianaVoice and singling out and ostracizing the wrong state employees as sources for some of our stories. In the end, it only made Team Jindal out to be even bigger fools.

Such tactics usually do blow up in the collective faces of the perpetrators, those with the most to hide. It has been our experience that the more the Jindal administration tries to keep the lid on unsavory activity, the more determined state employees become to serve as anonymous sources to expose unscrupulous officials and questionable activities. LouisianaVoice is getting more solid leads to stories these days than ever before. Another reason for that is that where Jindal has only contempt for state employees, we maintain that no one should have his dignity undermined by a superior or an elected official with an agenda.

Take the long-simmering situation over at Louisiana State Police Troop D in Lake Charles. Events that occurred five years ago are just now coming to light and the glare of that light should concern each of us about the leadership in the vanguard of the state’s top law enforcement agency.

The reason we’re only now learning of these events? Failure on the part of top administration to take decisive action in the first place but instead to attack those coming forward with information of inappropriate and even illegal activity within Troop D.

It would seem enough that State Police Commander Col. Mike Edmonson condoned but then denied his part in an effort last year to sneak a bill amendment through the legislature that would’ve added about $50,000 per year to his retirement. It was only through an anonymous tip that LouisianaVoice was able to break that story and Edmonson’s furtive financial windfall was subsequently aborted.

Perhaps it is the mesmerizing effect of too many photo-ops with the governor that has given him delusions of celebrity status. But now, as more and more sordid details are leaking out of Lake Charles, the long shadow of doubt is being cast over Edmonson’s qualifications—and ability—to continue to lead and command respect from Louisiana’s state troopers.

The matter of Capt. Harlan Chris Guillory is an excellent example. Edmonson, instead of suspending Guillory for violating State Police regulations on reporting the use of prescription medication, went after those who prompted the investigation of Guillory’s drug use, imposing much stricter penalties on the messengers than on the offender.

Guillory, in fact, was promoted in rank and made commander of Troop D following an Internal Affairs investigation of allegations of prescription drug abuse—allegations that ultimately were proved accurate.

Capt. Barry Branton, a supervisor with an unblemished record who approved a Prescription Monitoring Program (PMP) on Guillory was placed on administrative leave for several months and demoted in rank to lieutenant on July 20, 2010. The findings against him included making false statements to Internal Affairs investigators, failure to report suspected violations by a fellow officer, failure to conform to laws, improper dissemination of information, unsatisfactory performance, providing false information on departmental records and for conduct unbecoming an officer.

Branton appealed and ultimately reached a settlement with State Police. He agreed to accept a demotion to lieutenant but won a major concession by having his suspension expunged from his record and by receiving full back pay.

Lt. Chris Ivey, who first suspected a prescription drug problem on the part of Guillory and who initiated the PMP, was cited for unsatisfactory performance and for providing false information on departmental records.

Edmonson tagged Ivey with a 48-hour suspension without pay but he appealed and the State Police Commission overturned Edmonson’s penalty but did not award Ivey attorney’s fees. The story didn’t end there, however. Edmonson, determined to extract his pound of flesh, appealed to the First Circuit Court of Appeal through the Department of Public Safety and Corrections.

Instead of reversing the State Police Commission, however, the First Circuit not only upheld Ivey’s reinstatement but also awarded him $1,306 in legal fees.

Here is the CHRIS IVEY FIRST CIRCUIT COURT OF APPEAL DECISION

So while Internal Affairs investigators Kevin Ducote and Kelly Dupuy (wife of Edmonson Chief of Staff Charles Dupuy—which raises a whole new set of questions about impartiality and fairness of the investigation itself) prepared a 10-page report on Guillory’s use of prescription drugs, believed to be OxyContin, while on duty, a series of interviews produced an 80-page report highly critical of Branton and Ivey.

It was that 80-page report that sent a clear message to Branton and Ivey, whose concerns about Guillory were, in the end, validated. They were punished and demoted while Guillory was promoted from lieutenant to captain—and to Commander of Troop D.

And that same message went out to the rest of Troop D on Tuesday: Don’t rock the boat.

But don’t take our word for it. Here is that 80-page LSP BRANTON REPORT (It’s long and takes awhile to load, so be patient.)

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Freagle, a groundbreaking political social network to connect voters and candidates, is set for Tuesday debut in Louisiana

Posted in Courts, Elections, Finances, Governor's Office, House, Senate, Judges, Legislature, Legislators, Media, Politicians, Public Records, Transparency on September 7, 2015| 6 Comments »

For political junkies and political reporters out there, this is just the ticket and it’s coming out party is tomorrow, Tuesday, Sept. 8, just in time for Louisiana’s fall elections.

Freagle, a free political social network designed to connect voters and candidates to engage the way our founders intended, will debut in Louisiana on Tuesday, Sept. 8.

LouisianaVoice anticipates it will make regular use of the site in order to keep its readers updated on political candidates.

Freagle.com will provide a personalized political platform on which voters can customize their issue and election preferences in order to cut through the noise and spin of our current political dialogue to learn who is on their ballot and where those candidates stand on the particular issues they care about.

“Freagle is designed to connect voters to the candidates on their ballot and provide a simple mechanism for learning about where they stand and what they will do if elected,” Freagle founder and CEO Niki Papazoglakis said. “It also allows candidates to easily engage with voters on the topics they care about individually without expensive micro-targeting and polling.”

Freagle is currently operating at: http://www.freagle.com/ . The full site will be live on Tuesday.

Citizens who use Freagle can easily determine who is on their ballot, in their specific precincts. The site will use the voter’s address to automatically connect them to the races on their ballots, but voters also have the ability to manually follow races in other districts. Voters are verified so there are no trolls or political operatives.

“I hope that by making it easy and convenient for voters to be informed and engaged on elections and amendments, more people will turn out to the polls this fall and feel confident that the votes they cast are for the people and topics that best reflect their personal views,” Papazoglakis said. “Ultimately, I hope that Freagle is a catalyst to re-engage voters in this representative democracy and get us back to a citizen-led government.”

Freagle’s other features will include:

  • Simple means of comparing candidates. Election forums will allow voters to conduct side-by-side comparisons of the candidates in each race on their ballot and on individual issues.
  • On-Demand candidates’ debates. Voters can pose questions to all candidates in a race who subscribe to Freagle from the Election Forum wall rather than individually through other venues like websites, Facebook or Twitter and without having to be selected or have timed responses in live forums.
  • My Ballot tool. Voters can research and make voting decisions throughout the election cycle and print their choices before going to the polls.
  • Verification. Voters are verified so there are no trolls or political operatives.

Papazoglakis said Freagle would also be a valuable tool for the news media. “The media will have a simple place to track all of the elections from a single location including who has qualified in each race, where the candidates stand on the issues, and how they are engaging with voters, “ she said. “In addition, comprehensive campaign finance reports are easily accessed from each candidate’s profile.”

Freagle will feature a custom report from the state Ethics Commission that will have significantly more information than the standard download from the Ethics website, Papazoglakis said, adding that the site will also include all campaign contributions for each candidate.

News media outlets wanting more information about Freagle should contact Papazoglakis at (225) 615-4570 or niki@freagle.com.

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Bobby Jindal on the campaign trail in Iowa: Comedy Central, a touch of Mel Brooks (but absurdity has a saturation point)

Posted in Campaign Contributions, Elections, Ethics, Governor's Office, Media, Politicians, Transparency on September 7, 2015| 15 Comments »

For a time, when Bobby Jindal or some other nut case Republican like Todd Akin opened their mouths, each utterance was more outlandish, more implausible than the last.

No more.

Even with Donald Trump, it appears we have reached a saturation point in absurdity with their inane rhetoric that plays to their constituency but does nothing to solve real problems. I mean, a wall constructed along our southern border? Seriously, Donald? When we have crumbling infrastructure (as already pointed out by Goldie Taylor, writing for http://bluenationreview.com/u-s-bridges-and-roads-are-failing-but-trump-wants-to-build-you-a-great-wall/), you want to build a wall?

It was kind of funny when Dan Quayle had a student add an “e” onto potato back in 1992. Reporters had a field day with that. Even though he was the incumbent vice-president under Bush, they lost that election to Clinton-Gore. The student, William Figueroa, then 12, spoke with wisdom beyond his years when he later commented that rumors that Quayle was an idiot were true.

Then there was that inconceivable claim by Todd Akin, the Republican running unsuccessfully for the Senate in Missouri back in 2012. Akin actually went on record as saying women who are raped cannot become pregnant. The full quote: “From what I understand from doctors, that’s really rare. If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.”

He was defending his anti-abortion position and while there are those who hold to the belief that life is sacred, that has to be one of the strangest defenses of a religious tenet on record. (There are some who, weighing the GOP’s general antipathy toward helping those less fortunate, say that Republicans believe life begins at conception and ends at birth.) Akin was ahead in the polls at the time he made his ill-fated observation but that gaffe cost him the election.

But for the most consistent blathering of pure banal nonsense while on the campaign trail to oblivion, you have to hand the trophy to Bobby Jindal. No one does it better. The man obviously has never learned to heed the sage advice that when you find yourself in a hole, quit digging.

From his European “no-go” zones to his letter to President Obama in which he attempted to press Obama to delete any mention of global warming in his upcoming New Orleans speech to commemorate the 10th anniversary of Hurricane Katrina, Jindal has been a most unfunny joke.

He has even gone so far as to criticize the use of private emails by Hillary Clinton while requiring his staff to use private email accounts and even passing a law that closed off any semblance of transparency for his office. Granted, U.S. State Department classified emails are a tad more serious than those of a governor but perhaps Jindal would’ve been wise to let that one slide.

Let’s face it, folks, he makes Quayle look like a towering intellect, Trump like the epitome of reason, Hillary like a paragon of honesty, and Akin like….well, never mind. We really don’t have a comparison for that one other than to observe that Jindal pleads ignorance on the subject of evolution because he is “not a scientist,” despite holding a biology degree from Ivy League Brown University that says he is.

On the one hand, Jindal tells us he hid in a closet with a flashlight to read his Bible while in high school so his parents would not know of his conversion from Hindu to Christianity. On the other, he tells his adoring audiences in Iowa, “One of the things my dad told me every day was, ‘You should thank God every day you were born in America.’”

So, Bobby, if that’s the case, why didn’t you just come out of the closet?

If we didn’t know better, we might well believe the entire presidential campaign for both parties is being scripted by Mel Brooks. And who knows? Maybe all we need to round out the race is Gov. William J. Le Petomane.

One thing about Bobby Jindal, though. When he gets on one of his asinine rhetorical crusades, you couldn’t drag him off with a team of Budweiser Clydesdales. Our hyphenated-governor (as in part-time hyphenated) wants to eliminate hyphenated-Americans. “We’re not Indian-Americans or African-Americans or Asian-Americans,” he insists. “We’re all Americans.”

Well, Bobby, all those Indian-Americans who poured cash into your gubernatorial campaigns in the fervent hope that you would be their voice have turned their backs on you because you walked away from them first. You have alienated an entire bloc of voters and they’re not without influence—or money. But their campaign money has dried up for you. Like it or not, they are were your identity. But you lost your 2003 race for governor because the good Protestants of north Louisiana wouldn’t vote for you because of your dark skin and that, admittedly, was a poor reason. So your solution was to whiten your image right down to your official portrait hanging in your office and in the Old State Capitol and preaching the white gospel of smug superiority.

Now you’re running around hitting all 99 Iowa counties saying things like, “Immigration without assimilation is invasion” and “We’re not a melting pot anymore.” You say immigrants should “learn English, adopt our values, roll up your sleeves and get to work.”

That last part would fall under your definition of “American Exceptionalism,” I suppose. That would be where we embrace such idealistic values as instigating the war with Mexico so we could grab South Texas and herd Native Americans onto barren reservations in the name of Manifest Destiny. Or maybe it was the provoking of the Spanish-American War or the manufacturing of the Gulf of Tonkin Incident so as to give us a reason to plunge full-bore into a civil war in Vietnam where we had no business being and where we sacrificed 58,000 American lives and millions of Vietnamese lives.

And speaking of Vietnam, our friend and fellow Ruston native, retired newspaper editor Bill Brown posed an interesting question on Facebook today: Why is it, he asks, that the same people who wanted so badly to send draft resisters to prison for breaking the law during the Vietnam war now want to defend a Kentucky clerk of court for defying the law?

Perhaps Jindal’s idea of “American Exceptionalism” extends to the quagmire we’ve gotten ourselves into in the Middle East. Refresh me: whose side are we on this week? I support our military but I can’t support the politicians who send young men and women into conflict to die for oil and Haliburton. That’s not my definition of patriotism. And when the wounded return, they’re discarded like last week’s newspapers. Don’t believe that? Google the problems and delays in obtaining care for wounded veterans at VA hospitals.

American Exceptionalism is just another term for tunnel vision or blind, unquestioning faith in the motives and morals of our elected officials who buy their way into office on the bankrolls of corporate interests, defense contractors, Wall Street and lobbyists while doing everything possible to destroy labor unions and social services. American Exceptionalism is spending enough on the trouble-plagued F-35 fighter jet to have purchased a $600,000 house for every homeless American or to send thousands of low-income kids to Harvard. American Exceptionalism is screaming to the mountain tops about socialized health care when the real problem is socialized wealth care.

As for Jindal’s admonition to immigrants to adhere to the other two conditions—“learn English” and “roll up your sleeves and get to work,” consider this:

Perhaps, in applying those principles across the board, we should all be speaking Iroquois, Apache, Comanche, Cree, Sioux and other native tongues while hunting bison and making birch bark canoes and respecting the land and our natural resources.

 

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